Touch Me

Association

"Alright" he giggled, heading into the kitchen.

I like the way our apartment is set up. I can watch him cook, from our couch. He looks good when he cooks.
You can tell it's something he loves to do.

While our breakfast cooked, he brewed another cup of coffee.

"So, I'm thinking of growing out my facial hair a little.. not like a beard or anything, just.. not fully shaven. What do you think? Will I look good or like I live under a bridge?"

"You should try it.. you look fantastic right now. And if you just do your hair the way you normally do, it'll look more professional. I like the 'sleepy guy that's spent the whole weekend reading a book about World War Two' look, but your boss may not love it just as much as I do. Just don't go to work with messy hair" i giggled

"I always do!!"

"Then go for it!"

"..I will!! I'll probably cave and shave my face clean after four days" he chuckled

"You can just give it a shot. I think you'll look great. You can make anything work."

"Yeah, right"

"Yeah!!"

He finished our breakfast, and brought the plates to the couch.

"So what do you want to do today?"

"Uh.. I don't have anything in mind. I'd really like to just hang out with you. Maybe go have dinner.." he shrugged

"That sounds nice!! Do you want to see your present?"

"You didn't have to get me a present!"

"Well, I did. Do you want to see it?"

"How about after we're done eating?"

"Fine.. I'm excited to give it to you.. i have two presents for you today"

"Two!? I don't even need the one!"

"Well you're getting two."

"..you're too nice. I don't deserve you. Go get yourself someone better. One that actually deserves two gifts"

"You do too deserve two!!"

"I don't even deserve you! You're too good to me. I deserve a glass jar full of cigarette water" he chuckled

"You deserve everything the world has to give"

"Yes, well you deserve the best man in the universe. Luckily, you love me, but still"

"You deserve the best one in the universe too!" I insisted

"That's what I have."

"..me too" i grinned

"Come here, I want to kiss you.." he giggled, setting his plate down

"You mean businesses. I've never seen you give up your breakfast for a kiss so freely." I chuckled

He rolled his eyes

"You're a jerk. I love it." He chuckled, placing both hands on my cheeks, and pulling me in for a kiss

I recently had gone down on my medication. My doctor thought I was doing well, and could do just the same on less. So far it had only been minor differences. I woke up earlier than usual. I was a bit more alert and on edge. A few more minor things. Not necessarily good or bad. But one thing that stuck out to me was my... memories.

I would always have the occasional.. incident. But they were more frequent. And more intense.  luckily, I have been alone for these intense episodes. I wouldn't want anyone to see. I'm not entirely sure what exactly happens. My memory seems to blank. I'll be reminded of something harsh from my life, and all of the sudden it's like I'm there. I'm just in this trance. And I don't know how long it takes, but whenever I'm present again, it's like I have no idea what's going on. I'm confused. And scared. And it seems to be getting worse.