The BIG Book of RANDOM

Elevators. AND ANNOYANCE. =D

31) Do Tae Bo exercises.

32) When about 8 people are on the elevator moan.."Oh no! Not now! Damn motion sickness!"

33) Meow, occasionally.

34) Bet other people that you can fit a quarter up your nose.

35) Walk with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.

36) Leave a box between the doors.

37) Start a sing-a-long.

38) When the elevator is silent ask, "Is that your beeper?"

39) Play the harmonica.

40) Say "Ding" at each floor.

41) Set up a chair and desk in the elevator, and whenever anyone gets on, say, "Hello! Welcome to my office. Do you have an appointment?"

42) Blow spit-bubbles.

43) Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

44) Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it is getting larger!"

45) Whenever someone steps in the elevator in a deep voice say, "GET OUT!"

46) Act like you are having a seizure.

47) Break dance to elevator music.

48) Jump at each floor to make the elevator bounce.

49) Drop a bag of groceries and look around like it was the other peoples fault.

50) If you made anyone feel uncomfortable by doing any of these things tell them "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!" When they ask if you are serious just look away & sulk.

51)If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

52)Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

53) Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

54)Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination, UFO, and OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

55)Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."

56) Ask people what gender they are.

57)Sing really off pitch to a popular song.

58)Chant "swing-batabatabata-suhwing-batter!"

59)Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

60)Practice making fax and modem noises.

61)Scream the floor number as you pass it.

62)Investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

63)Try playing the Jeopardy Waiting music by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

64)Drum on every available surface.

65)Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consist

65)Learn Morse code and have conversations with friends in public consisting of "Beeeep bip bip beeeep bip.."

66)Bring lots of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

67)Tie bells to all your clothes.

68)Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

69)Sing the 99 bottles of beer song.

70)Sing the "This is the song that never ends" song from Lampchop's Play-Along.

71)Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

72)Stare

73)Walk on making dinsousaur noises and nudge people with your nose. (My friends brother nailed it!)

74)Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

75)Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off.

76)Insist completely ridiculous things are true -like Bush is still President.

77)Call McDonald's and try to make a reservation for that evening.

78)Pretend you're R2-D2.

79)Recite the first 4,000 decimal places of Pi. Then ask if people want to hear it in binary, to 2 years ago 80)Pretend you're blind.

81)Tell everyone you are Bill Clinton's cousin.

82)Act drunk.

83)Talk to yourself.

84)Call the operator. When asked, "Can I help you?" reply, "No thanks, just browsing." (Make sure it's on speaker)

85)Set The Twilight Zone theme song as your ring tone and just let it ring, and ring, and ring, and ring....

86)Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.

87)Insist to a stranger that you're related

88)When the elevator dings, scream.

89)Call a girl a dude.

90)Recite shakespearian poetry to everyone you meet.

91)Pretend you're invisible

92)Continuously open your briefcase or bag and say into it, "Have you got enough air in there?"

93)Ask who knows the muffin man's address.

94)Pretend you are selling something in an infomercial.

95)Put powdered sugar in your hair and scratch your head a lot.

96)Walk around with a plastic sword and shield and tell strangers "I must avenge the death of my father."

97)Get two cell phones and talk to yourself on it.