58.2. Panic Escape - Part 2

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I don't know how long I've been flying but it must have been at least two hours because what snaps me out of it is exhaustion. Even the embodiment of magic has limits. Especially the embodiment of magic who didn't have a chance to eat breakfast and is starving by now.

To my horror, I realise I wasn't paying attention to the scenery below me and was flying without any sense of direction. The long flight cleared my head and calmed me down. It allowed me for a moment to forget the weight of responsibility and my lack of freedom. But now I'm facing a peculiar problem—I seriously have no idea where I am.

Dammit. Of course, I don't have my phone! Recently, I don't really carry it with me. My old account was deleted so that my previous human acquaintances can't contact me and my new Celestial ID was created only so that I could browse the internet. The Celestial Emperor has little use for a private phone since every communication towards me is handled by the Royal Office first.

So... now what? Should I try flying higher to see better into the distance? But I suck at geography so it probably wouldn't help and my current robe isn't made for low temperatures. I can't risk catching hypothermia.

I have to land, it's inevitable. My wings are tired and my mana almost depleted. I used too much air magic to get away. I still have a significant amount in my feathers but I don't want to use it just to prolong my flight. I might need it to defend myself.

Have I just done the most immature thing in the world? I flew away. I didn't face my subjects properly. I didn't convey my needs and thoughts on the matter in a calm reasonable way that could be understood. I let panic get the best of me and this is the result. I'm lost, starving and exhausted.

I desperately want to go back and feel the minds of my friends again. I crave my partners. I'm not even mad at Erik and Liana anymore, I understand why they did it. They wanted to shelter me from my fanatical subjects for as long as possible, considerate of how fragile my mental health is.

Not knowing what else to do, I head down into the forest below me. It's vast with huge trees so I bet it must be a reservation. Funny, I've never really visited a real forest before as greenery is rare in cities. More of a reason to see it and make most of my little... trip. Gosh, Liana is going to kill me.

I carefully go for landing, not sure how soft or firm this forest ground is—I'm a city person through and through—but it's softer than expected and comfortable to land on. I fold my wings and take a deep breath of smelly forest air which is so different from the air in high altitudes.

My problem didn't disappear with me safely landing, though. I still have no idea where I am and since it's just me and my feelings, I can be sure there's nobody in the vicinity. It's both a good thing (I'm safe from humans) and a bad thing (there's no one I could ask for directions).

I walk around for a few minutes, admiring the trees and touching the greenery. I feel animals around me but their emotions are too weak and crude for me to hold onto them. Also, I find out that they avoid me. Do they instinctively sense I'm dangerous? I guess I don't have to be afraid of encountering bears and wolves then.

After a while, I resignedly sit under a tree. The nature is beautiful but I'm simply not equipped for such environment. My legs are starting to hurt because my shoes aren't meant for this kind of terrain and moreover because my Celestial feet are rather delicate.

Fefnir is often making fun of us—saying that we're birds—but he can't be further from the truth. Birds are part of nature so forests and parks are their home. Celestials, however, belong to floating cities. Ideally, we're not meant to touch natural ground at all. Our bodies are not adjusted for that.

I'm starting to think I'm screwed. I'm getting dizzy because of hunger and my stomach is rumbling painfully but I'm no Earthborn to expertly find edible berries and mushrooms. I'm definitely no Clawfang to hunt and I'm not able to digest meat anyway. And I'm no Dragonkin to survive literally anywhere. I'm a frail Celestial who belongs to the sky and shiny palaces, not here.

I notice that my feathers got dirty and it makes me even more anxious. I hate seeing my white wings stained. It's unbecoming of a Celestial, not mentioning of the Celestial Emperor. I suddenly feel like taking a long bath and for once long for my nosy maids. They're doing such a good job taking care of me, my partners and my home, I see it now. I make a promise to myself to appreciate them more.

"Ouch," I whine and massage my temples.

I'm starting to develop a headache which is strange considering there's nothing that could agitate my brain. Or maybe exactly because of that? Maybe telepaths aren't meant to live in seclusion. Maybe we need a constant telepathic stimulation. Total emphatic silence is stifling and unnerving.

But how could I know that beforehand? Nobody taught me anything. As far as I knew, I was the only telepath. Now there's also that Takeda person who might or might not be my biological father but I don't want to think about him at the moment. I'm starting to arrive at the conclusion that too many emotions are still a better alternative than no emotions at all.

I sigh. What should I do? I can rest my wing muscles just fine but that doesn't fix the fact that I desperately need to eat something. But I don't dare to eat anything in the forest, my stomach is weak as it is. I can't afford even weak food poisoning.

Too exhausted, hungry and sleep-deprived for coming up with any sort of plan, I snuggle into my wings and lie down. The moss is soft enough but I can't shake off the unpleasant feeling that it's dirty and there must be bugs everywhere. I think the Earthborn and Clawfangs can emit pheromones to repel insects, lucky them.

The consequences of what I've done are slowly coming to me. Liana must be so furious while Gotrid and Erik worried-sick. I'll get punished this time, definitely. My prospects don't look good but I'm too tired and my feathers are nicely warm. I decide to take a short power nap before finding my way back. 

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