Song: Melanie Martinez - high school sweethearts
Imagine: you tell Bucky your pregnant and he lashes out at you because he's scared that he will hurt the baby.
•
You try to steady yourself against the wall. You haven't been hit yet, no bulletwounds or any other injuries. Why are you feeling so damn dizzy and sick?
'Y/n are you alright?, we're ready to wrap it up...' Bucky comes through the com.
'No...I just...I need someone to help me...' you breath into the com, again trying to steady yourself against the wall.
Right before the black spots take over your vision, Bucky rushes around the corner and lets you fall into his arms. He immediately scoops you up and rushes to the jet.
He's worried, matter of fact he has never been more worried in his life. You're everything he's got at this point besides from the team.
You have been with him ever since Berlin, you've known each other for a longer time but you started dating right after Berlin, where you saved him multiple times and stopped the fight altogether.
Bottom line is that he doesn't want to lose you, and this, well this scares him.
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'Well Miss Y/l/n, you and the baby are perfectly fine but I do recommend bed rest...no missions until the baby is born... the stress might endanger the pregnancy..'
'Baby?, I'm sorry I'm not following...' you try to wrap your head around it.
'You're pregnant, about 8 or 9 weeks along...didn't you already know?' The nurse asks and you shake your head, your mouth open in shock.
'I'm sorry I just..'
'You need a moment to take it in, I understand...I'll fetch the mister for you...he's anxiously waiting outside...'
'Yeah Yeah...' you breathe as your hand travels to your, still flat, belly.
There's something magical happening in there right now, there's a human growing inside of you this very moment and has been for 8 or 9 weeks already.
Happiness envelops you, you always wanted kids, and Bucky is the perfect match for you, you're going to be a family, finally.
'Thank god you're okay...I was worried sick...' Bucky rushes in and immediately hugs you.
He leans back and noticed the large smile across your face, he frowns and cocks his head to the side. 'What are you so happy about?' He asks.
'Buck...the reason I fainted...' you take his hands in yours. 'The reason I fainted is because I'm pregnant...'
His eyes go wide for a moment and he retrieved his hands from yours, you won't lie, that hurts a little, but you have hope, still.
'Isn't that great?' You smile.
But the smile doesn't stay for long, not when you can see the pained expression on his face. He isn't happy.
'So when are you going to get it removed?'
'Excuse me?' You scoff at him, why is he being so weird about it?
'What do you mean?, aren't you happy?, I mean we finally get to have our own little family...' you feel the tears coming, but you're trying to suppress them.
'Y/n this is going to destroy our lives!'
'No it's not...' you shake your head at him. 'You're just..you just need to get used to this...'
'Y/n you can't be serious!' He roughly grabs your wrist and you wince.
'Ow!, you're hurting me!' You squirm.
'Y/n I don't want kids, you seriously want to keep the baby?'
'Yes!, I do...Buck I love you and we can do this...' you encourage him. But he just shakes it off of him.
'Buck come on...please don't shut me out...'
'This is your fault you know...if you wouldn't spread your legs-'
'Don't you dare finish that sentence!' You snap at him. 'We used protection but sometimes it doesn't work!, but don't you dare leave me alone with this!' Your tears are rolling freely now.
'I'm sorry y/n but I can't do this!' He lets go off you but you reach out again.
'Don't do this...whatever you do, don't do this...you promised you'd stay with me...through everything...'
'I'm sorry but not with this...'
And with that he breaks his promise and walks straight out, your wrist still hurting from how tightly he wrapped his fingers around it.
You gently rub the redness while you try to stop crying. This was supposed to be a happy thing.
'Miss y/l/n?, you can go back to the compound now...you're all cleared, just make sure you'll set an appointment for the baby...' the nurse smiles and you nod, quickly wiping the tears.
•
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•
You and Bucky haven't talked in a while, from the moment he distanced himself, which was 4 months ago.
He always seems to be on a mission or plain avoiding you. He wants nothing to do with you, or so it seems.
'Nat you promised you'd drive me...' you walk into the living room, Bucky being the only one sitting there.
'I know honey I know...I'm sorry this mission was exhausting and I want to spend some time with Steve so we're away on a vacation and I forgot!, I'm sorry!' Nat speaks through the phone.
You can't blame her for bailing on you, she and Steve haven't been able to properly see each other in weeks. She deserves this, but you're going to be late for the checkup.
'Sorry Nat...it's the hormones...I'll just take the bus or something, I'll be fine...have fun and uh, wrap it okay?, or you'll end up like me...' you chuckle.
'Ugh you're gross...you sure you gonna be okay?, I'm not going to be there when you find out the gender...it bugs me...'
'Yeah I'll be fine, I'll call you when I find out though..'
'Bye honey...' Nat chirps.
'Bye Nat, Oh and day hi to Steve for me...'
'Will do!' She replies before hanging up.
You sigh as you run your fingers through your hair, leaning against the counter of the kitchen island. 'Fuck I'm going to be late...' you curse.
'Late to what?' Bucky asks.
'My appointment at the hospital...I was going to find out the gender today but I guess not since I probably won't make it...' you explain.
'I-I can drive you...' he replies, clearly not in the mood but also seems like he wants to come with you.
'If you don't mind...'
•
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The cold gel gets smeared over your belly as the device goes over it, trying to find the baby. A shiver runs down your spine earning a small chuckle from the nurse, 'I know it's cold, you'll get used to it..' She comments.
You quietly watch the screen, not wanting to look at Bucky any second longer than you have to.
A smile spread as you see the baby pop up on the monitor, secretly the same happens with Bucky. He feels this incredible happiness in his chest. And it's right then and there that he realises he has fucked up. Big time.
All because he is scared that he will do something to hurt you or the baby, or possibly both.
'Would you like to know the gender of the baby?' The nurse asks and you happily nod.
'Okay lets have a look, he or she is really trying to hide...a bit of a shy human already...'
'Apple doesn't fall far from the tree...' you reply.
'Oh I can see now...well y/n, I'll be happy to inform you that you'll be having a baby girl...' she announces and tears form in your eyes.
Mainly because of happiness, mainly...
'Well why won't I let you two process this...I'll be right back...' the nurse speaks up and you nod.
Even when she's gone you still won't look away from the screen. A hand slowly placing itself on your belly out of habit. You choke down a sob. A few tears rolling down your face.
Your face had a happy expression a few seconds ago, but now you're full on crying, because you can't hold it back anymore, all the stress and the pain on top of the thought of having to raise this child alone.
You feel your free hand softly being grabbed by his metal one, he squeezes it but still you can't bare to turn your face to him.
'Look at me y/n...' he whispers, you shake your head.
'Please look at me...' he begs as he sits next to your legs. Your head still tilted to the side.
'I'm sorry...I'm so fucking sorry...please...at least look me in the eyes...'
You finally turn your head, the tears still stinging in your eyes.
'I'm not trying to make excuses...I'm an idiot, a fucking dumbass, I was scared that I would ruin everything and...that made me feel like I wasn't ready...and I...I should've talked to you about it...'
'Stop...just stop okay?, I don't wanna get hurt again...'
Again, the word spurred on in his mind, he never meant to hurt you as much as he did.
'I let you go through this all alone when I should've been there, I missed out on so much all because I was scared...' he's now crying too, he rarely does.
'There is honestly no forgiving this...but I freaked out....and I don't want you to have to do this alone, when I'm the one who helped putting the baby in, in the first place...I'm part of the reason why you're here...'
'I was so mad at you...I was heartbroken...you promised me that nothing would ever come between us...'
'I know and I am so sorry... you don't deserve this... you don't deserve someone like me, you deserve better...'
'You're wrong...you know I hate it when you talk that way about yourself...because it's not true...and I always have repeated that same thing over and over again...'
'I shouldn't have reacted the way I did...I should've manned up...and I see that now, and I want to be there with you every step of the way...'
'You broke my trust...the only thing I had as my safety net was you... you can't expect me to just go back to how it was...'
'I don't... I don't expect you to go back to how it was because I know what I did was...well I was a real dick... and even though, my promise won't mean anything to you anymore...I will promise you that whatever comes, I will be by your side...no matter what...' he puts his forehead against yours, rubbing your noses together.
'And if I break that promise you get to shoot me, many..many times...'
You chuckle through your tears at his comment, he's such a hopeless romantic.
'This is our child, our baby girl...Buck..I need to know with absolute certainty that this will remain as constant as possible...'
'I know... all I can do is promise you...'
'I love you...'
'You love me again?'
'I never stopped..' you admit, it may hurt, the pain may still be there, but you need him.
It's a man, that's no excuse for what he did but he does deserve a special treatment, given that HYDRA did a lot to him.
He smiles as he feels the palm of your hand press against his tearstained cheek. You close the gap between you, your lips softly pressing against his.
'A little girl...' he whispers. 'We're having a girl...'
•
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(3 years later)
'Daddy!' Rebecca, your little girl yells as she runs around the kitchen ultimately being grabbed and pulled into his grasp.
'Shhh, shh!, we have to be quiet...mommy will hear us...' he whispers and her eyes go big before she nods.
She puts her little finger to her mouth and he chuckles at the gesture.
'Okay now I'm going to put you down, and I need you to spy for me can you do that?' He whispers and she nods.
'Go see if mommy is awake yet...then I'll deliver our freshly made, special Mother's Day, breakfast...'
'Okay..' She replies before she rushes to the master bedroom, she peeks through the door to see you still sprawled across the bed.
Her little feet pad over the floor on her way to the kitchen.
'Psst!, daddy!, mommy is still sleeping!' She whispers.
'You go wake her up and I'll follow...' he picks up the plate and follows his princess to his queen, or so he refers to you and his daughter.
'Mommy!, mommy wake up!' She yells and you cringe at the loudness, she definitely got that from Bucky.
'I'm up...I'm up..' you chuckle as you turn to sit up against the headboard.
'Happy Mother's Day Mommy...' she smiles as she sits next to you.
'Your breakfast...my lady...' he puts the plate down.
'Who made this?' You laugh.
'Me!, daddy helped!' Rebecca says. 'Exactly..' Bucky confirms it.
'Awww I love you guys...'
'We love you too momma...' Bucky pecks your lips.
'Now let's eat...'