"Connor, is dinner almost ready? Gabe and his boyfriend are almost here"
"Almost done!! Why don't you make sure everything's in order?"
Kevin went to go make sure everything was cleaned, but was stopped by the doorbell.
"Shit- they're here. Do I look alright?"
"You look great, stop stalling and let them in!"
He rushed to the door, greeting them with a smile
"Hey!! Come in!!"
"thank you! Uhh, Kevin, this is Adam!"
"It's nice to meet you, Adam! Connor, I'll take over dinner, come say hi"
"Actually, it's done! You don't need to do a thing. Adam, it's so good to meet you!" I said, shaking his hand.
"You too. I've heard a lot about you guys." He smiled.
He had coal black hair, contrasting the whiteness of his smile. He was good looking, I'll give you that. Gabe was doing well, to say the least.
"Oh.. good things, I hope"
"Of course they were good things!" Gabe insisted
"Good. Uhh, dinner's ready, but if you'd like to just talk for a while, that's good too. Sorry. I'm not good at this. I haven't had people over in a while. I don't know how to do these things. Kevin, can you jump in?"
"Yeah, of course. Take a breath, man" he chuckled, setting a hand on my shoulder "why don't you guys go ahead and sit, make yourselves comfortable, I'll get the dinner."
"Great! Uhh does anyone want some wine? Fair warning, we don't have any fancy ones. Mediocre wine."
Everyone agreed to a glass, which I poured. Kevin brought our food to the table, and our dinner commenced.
"Gabe, how's everything? How's your family? Do they like Adam?"
"Actually, they haven't met him yet. They don't know."
"Oh- sorry, I assumed they knew..."
"No. I'm a bit nervous to tell them. We don't talk a whole bunch anyway, so it'd be hard to call them up out of the blue and say 'hey mom, sorry it's been a few months, anyway, I've been sleeping with a man for a long time now, sorry I never told you, bye!"
"..well yeah, if you phrase it that way, it would be quite difficult" I chuckled
"Yeah.. I'll probably go a different route when it comes to telling them. You guys are actually the first people we've told.."
"We are?"
"Yeah.. I mean, when I had that crush on Jack, I told you guys. You helped me. You made me feel okay about it. That meant a lot to me. You guys were the first people I was honest with. I felt like you guys were the first people who should know. You mean a lot to me."
"Gabe.. that means so much to us.."
"You guys are important to me. And I'm so glad you're finally meeting Adam. He's important to me too. It's nice to have you all together.."
"It's nice to be with you, too. How have y'all been?"
"We've been good!! I got a raise at work." Gabe smiled
"That's Great! Adam, what do you do for work?"
"I work at this coffee shop outside Darien. It's not the highest income in the world, but the tips I make during tourist season make up for everything"
"And he makes even more tips, since he's so freakin' cute.." Gabe gushed, making us all laugh
"He's just saying that. People only tip the elderly workers extra."
"Oh- come on, the other day someone gave you a five dollar tip on their black coffee. And who can blame them? I'd give five dollars just to get him to smile at me"
I have never seen Gabe like this. He's always been a nervous, quiet, socially awkward basket case. He's like a new man. He's never been this confident. Nowhere near it. He's comfortable, making jokes, leading conversation. He's changed so much, and I'm incredibly proud of him. And I can tell Kevin is too.
"I smile at you plenty!" Adam laughed, raising his hands in defense
"You do. I just love it so much."
"Oh, come on." He chuckled
They remind me of Kevin and I when we got together. It's sweet. They seem good together.
We spent the whole evening getting to know them. Actually, they were over until eleven. We played games, told stories, Kevin supplied us all with beer. It was the most fun I'd had in a while.
"You look tired.." Adam said to Gabe, putting his arm around his boyfriend's shoulder
"I am. I got up at four this morning so I could take a run. I wish I hadn't" he chuckled
"Maybe we should get going."
"I guess so.. you're gonna have to drive me home, I had a few beers."
"Alright.. what am I supposed to do with your car..?"
"Dude I don't care, just sleep at my place."
"Alright.. uhhh we'll figure it out on the way there" Adam replied, slightly embarrassed
"Ohhh, don't be embarrassed. They don't care if you sleep at my house!! I'm a little tipsy, so I can't drive you home. It's not like we're gonna go home and have some sort of sex party, we're gonna go home and sleep"
"You guys know him well enough that I don't need to apologize for him saying that, right?"
"Correct. Just get on home, you two" Kevin chuckled, standing up to show them out.
"Thank you for having us." Adam shook our hands, getting up as well.
"Can you start the car? It's cold in there. I'll be right out."
"Alright, have fun talking about me" he chuckled, heading out to the car and leaving Gabe to talk to us
"Sooo? Do you like him?"
"Gabe, he's fantastic. I've never seen you this happy. Congratulations." Kevin smiled, pulling him in for a hug
"I'm so glad you like him. Connor, I want a hug from you too"
"Bring it in, Gabe"
"Did you like him too, Connor?"
"I did! He seems like he makes you happy.."
"He does!! I like him so much!"
"I'm so happy for you, man."
"I'm going to go home now and get into bed, but you two have a good night, okay?"
"Will do. Have a good night, Gabriel."
He and adam took off, leaving us both with smiles.
"I'm going to clean this up really quick and take my meds, why don't you go up to bed?"
"No, let me help.."
"Baby, I'll be fine. You look exhausted, get on up to bed. I'll be right behind you"
"Oh, fine.." he sighed, leaving me a kiss on the cheek, before heading upstairs.
I cleaned the table and dishes, gave the cats their food and took my medication, before going up to the bedroom as well. Kevin had already turned out the lights by the time I had finished washing up for bed.
"Alright, I may bump into the wall here" I chuckled, my arms out in front of me to feel for anything I may stumble over
"Follow my voice" Kevin joked
I made it safely to the bed, then feeling around for my husband. I pulled myself on top of him, gently running my thumb over the stubble on his cheek. It pricked at my hand, soothing me subtly.
"I had a good time tonight..." Kevin said softly, setting his hands on my waist and back.
"I did too."
He gave me a quick kiss, moving his hand to my cheek
"You need a haircut" he giggled "you're all shaggy."
"I'm too lazy to make an appointment.. and I hate haircuts.. I always feel so weird and self conscious to not look the same as I did ten minutes ago"
"You look so cute when you have a new haircut, though!! You'll look so handsome.." he insisted, kissing me once again
"I'll set up an appointment tomorrow.. as long as you don't shave tomorrow"
"Deal."
"Good. It's all stubbly and I like it."
"You used to hate it, you know.."
"I don't know how. You look so good with it. And I like the way it feels on my hands."
"I'm glad you like it now."
"I wish I could see you right now.. I bet you look stunningly handsome.. your voice sounds handsome right now.."
"I can assure you I look just as exhausted as I did earlier"
"You looked handsome earlier too. And now your voice is all deep and tired, I love when it's deep and tired."
"You know how to charm a man, Mr. McKinley."
"It's true, I really do love it. It's low and smooth and careless and... sexy" I mumbled, embarrassed to say the last part. My cheeks ran warm, and I instinctively looked down, though I couldn't even see him.
"You're adorable.." he chuckled
"How do you know? You can't see me.." I said in a teasing tone
"I know you are. You feel pretty. And you look pretty. You looked pretty since the day I met you. I can assume you're just as pretty as when you were downstairs.. you're pretty."
He gave me another kiss, this one longer than the last. It was deeper. It was clear he had the intention of kissing me more.
"Mm, You're nice.."
"I'm not just being nice. You're genuinely heartbreakingly beautiful.."
I ran my hand over his chest, the soft cotton of his shirt warm on my skin.
I could see his figure, though it was too dark to make out the details. His shirt was newly washed and it smelled like lavender and his soap. It only added to how utterly serene the moment felt. The rhythmic thumping of his heart was felt underneath my hand. It was steady and patterned and soothing. As he pulled me in for another kiss, made his way to my jaw, falling to a slow stop. He kept his face right against mine, his lips parted as his breath was hot on my neck.
"You're wearing that new cologne I liked so much.." he whispered
"Yeah.."
"I absolutely love it on you, but I must admit, I hate when you wear it."
"Why..?"
"God, it drives me crazy. It's hard enough to control myself around you, as it is. It just pushes me right over the edge. I may as well be a dog at your heels.."
"You like it that much?"
"I love it."
I pulled him into a kiss, and he gave a satisfactory sigh, his nails sinking into my back.
His kisses got more and more passionate with the second. We couldn't see ahead of us, and all we could hear was the other's breathing, and the sheets rustling gently.
His passion was reciprocated. I couldn't keep myself from him. I found my hands underneath his shirt, as he kissed me with all he could muster.
Sometimes when we kiss, or become intimate I feel this strange guilt. It's less potent than it used to be, but it's still there. It probably always will be. It's nothing to do with him, it's the fear and rhetoric my father instilled in me for so long. It'll stay with me for the rest of my life. Sometimes it's worse than others. Usually, I'm able to shut it out. But sometimes I am not.
It's like I'm in a constant battle of the mind. Two different narratives pulling me in their direction. One of impulse. Something that feels absolutely dire at the time. Like it has to be done. Yet makes me feel filthy. Disgusted with myself. This feeling occurs in the pit of my stomach as I debate what truly is right. What am I supposed to do. These feelings are so strong, but then I think about the opposite end. The option of purity. What is true? By doing this, am I disregarding the truth and justice of God? Or am I simply just partaking in a part of life? By stopping myself, am I being strong and good, and doing what is right? Or am I just restricting myself from the basic pleasures of life, for something that may turn out not to have been true? What am I supposed to do? The question plagues my mind every day, but I am often able to disregard it. But I cannot. Am I doing the right thing, or starving myself of my wants and desires for nothing? Am I sacrificing my divinity, or am I just indulging in life's pleasures? The question makes me feel sick. I don't know what's right anymore.
"Kevin..." I whispered, now feeling slightly uneasy
"Yes?" He said with a smirk in his voice
"I.. I think I'd like to stop now."
He slowly came to a halt, waiting a few seconds, before putting his hand to my cheek, and lifting my head a bit
"Is something the matter..?"
"I'm not feeling so well...."
"What's wrong, darling?"
He caressed my cheek
"I think I'm going to take a walk.."
I pulled myself out of bed, walking straight down the stairs and out of the house. Kevin was questioning me and calling for me, but it went right past me.
There was a thin layer of snow on the ground, crunching beneath my feet, immediately soaking my socks. I was walking faster than ever before. It was almost running. My cheeks stung. I was shivering, but I wanted nothing more than to be alone and think. Perhaps pray. I should pray.
Several yards away from the house, I fell to my knees, and prayed. I spoke it aloud, though it was reduced to a mumble. Sand, rock and ice ate away at my bare knees. Snow fell onto my skin, and before long, it was already painful. But it was refreshing. I felt awake. Alive. Clear of mind.
I asked for guidance and forgiveness and answers, but all it did was push me to tears. I didn't feel a thing. I didn't get any answers.
"Connor..."
Kevin caught up to me, wearing slippers and a sweater, explaining his delay.
"Sweetheart, what's the matter?"
"Just let me pray..."
"Connor, you've gotta talk to me, what's going on?"
"Leave me alone, I'd like to pray."
"You can pray inside. Can you please get up?"
"I'd just like to kneel here for a while."
"Connor, what's going on? You were fine, minutes ago. What's happened?"
"Nothing. Just let me think for a while."
"Sweetheart, you're shivering.. you need to get inside."
He pulled me up by the arm, my knees bright red from the snow. My feet were numb, tears frozen to my face.
Kevin walked me back to the house, and putting me in front of the radiator. He got me some dry socks, and a blanket, before he sat with me.
"What happened there? You were fine. You were kissing me. And you just... dashed."
"I felt guilty."
"For what?"
"It's... hard to explain.."
"I have time. Tell me what's the matter."
"I just feel... like I've done something wrong. Even though I know I haven't. I know it was just my father. And i know it was just the...fear he instilled in me. But sometimes I feel like it's wrong. And I know its lot, and it doesn't make me like you any less, I just get worried that I'm.... squandering myself. Or that I'm doing something... wrong. Usually, I can shut it out, but I just couldn't today.."
"What makes you think like that?"
"I don't know. It just happens. I can guarantee it wouldn't be a problem if I It weren't for my dad. And the camp. And the beatings and the church meetings. And the shame. I still feel ashamed sometimes.. I know I shouldn't. And usually, I don't. But it's still hard. It's never going to be easy. I was put through hell, and by comparison, yes, I'm doing well with it. But it's always going to be hard."
"I know. You should talk about these things with me, darling. I want to talk to you. And I'd far prefer you even wake me up at night to talk about it, than for you to run out into the snow. Your knees are bleeding, for goodness sake.."
"I'm sorry. I like the snow. It's white and it's blank and it covers everything. The world's so busy, but the snow covers it. It's quiet. And it's slow. My mind is never quiet. And when it's racing like that, I want to be with the quiet... it's like the world disappears in the snow. It feels like a new start. A quiet beginning. It's peaceful.. and dull. And for once, the world feels quiet.. It's like the stars. On a clear night. It feels like that chaos has stopped. If i surround myself with that, perhaps I could make myself calm. I could make myself stop thinking."
"That makes sense.. but you can't just freeze yourself out there, sobbing, in nothing but your boxers and shirt."
"I know..."
"I think you need some rest, Sunshine.. can you do that?"
"Yeah.."
"Can I get you something?"
"No, I'm alright.. I think I'd just like to get to bed"
"Alright... are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm okay.. I'd just like to go to bed."
"Alright... I love you. And I want you to know that you're doing nothing wrong."
"I love you too...I'll be okay, this happens sometimes. I'm just a bit stressed"
"I know you are. It's just... worrying. I worry for you sometimes. And I have plenty to worry about. You've had a very difficult life, and I worry that one day it's going to get to you. I worry I'll lose you.... Darling, I can't lose you.."
"You won't lose me... it's not as serious as it looks.."
"It sure looked serious when you were out there in the cold.."
"It's not so. I was just.. scared. It's never been as bad as it looked then. I got overwhelmed. I'll be okay. I promise you, nothing will happen to me."
"I find it hard to believe you on that. I don't think you're lying, I know you don't want anything to happen. But I fear one day you will get worse. And then something will happen to you..."
"You don't need to be worried"
"I've certainly earned the right to"
"You have. But there really is nothing to worry about.. I feel okay. I know I had a meltdown. But I won't hurt myself. I won't put myself in any danger"
"You have before. For this exact reason. Why should I just believe you won't start to hurt yourself? And what do I do when that happens? You say you'll tell me, but when the time comes, you're ashamed. You don't tell me. I need to be able to put trust in you that you will do what it takes to keep yourself safe. And it's not your fault. I'm not mad at you at all. I just need you to get over whatever embarrassment or guilt you feel over telling me you're struggling. I need to know when you are. And I need to know that I can trust you to take care of yourself."
"....I know I haven't always proven myself worthy of that trust. But I will."
"I trust you with everything in my life, aside from yourself. You suffer in silence, and though you grew up that way, you can't continue that way."
"I know. But, I'll tell you stuff.. I'll tell you how I feel. And when I need to take walks and why. And why I need to pray.. I'm sorry"
"Don't be sorry. You don't have to tell me every detail of everything. Just... tell me when something's up. And do what you need to in order to keep yourself safe."
"I will.."
"Attaboy.."
"You look exhausted, Kev.."
"I am."
"Then let's get to bed..."
"..I may have to hold you extra tight tonight. I don't know if it's more for you or for myself, but I think I have to.."
"That's okay. I'd like that actually after the night I've had, I could use it."
"I'll be up in a moment.." Kevin said with a weak smile, rubbing my back
I stood up, stretching a bit
"I'll be better. I promise I will."
He'll insist that he doesn't need me to 'do better' but I feel I do. I can't do stuff like that to him. I can't make him worry like that. I know what he means is that he doesn't want me to change or adapt for him. He doesn't want me to feel pressured or like he's upset with me. He wants me to get better for both our sakes.
I headed upstairs to bed, Kevin following a few minutes behind me.
"What were you doing..?" I asked, moving the covers so he could get into bed with me.
"I was just thinking. Trying to figure this out. How to help you.."
"We don't need to think about this anymore tonight. It's late.. come to bed."
Kevin nodded and got into bed, pulling his arms around me the second the covers were over him. He laid his head on my pillow, his nose and forehead against my neck.
"I love you.... I love you so much." He whispered
"I love you too, Kevvy. You don't have to worry, okay? I'm gonna do better."
"Okay.. Thank you."
"Goodnight.."
"Goodnight."
He gently kissed my neck, before shutting his eyes, and cozying up to me.
It took me ages to fall asleep. I can imagine it took Kevin even longer. But by the time I woke up, around nine the next morning, he was sound asleep. Myself, I just stared up at the ceiling.
I could feel bad memories begin to climb their way back into my mind. I can fend them off if I distract myself, but for now, there was nothing to distract myself. I could try to read. I don't know, it may not be consuming enough.
Kevin says exercise helps him with the bad thoughts. Who am I to turn away the possibility of something that could help?
The sidewalks were cleared early this morning, and most of the snow that fell last night was starting to melt anyway.
I quietly got myself out of bed, and changed into Kevin's exercise clothes, as I had none of my own. I tore a page from my notebook, and wrote Kevin a note in case he woke up while I was gone.
"I went out for a run- feeling better this morning. Be back soon. Love you
-Connor"
I started as a jog, but it did become rather brisk. When running from your own thoughts, you tend to go quickly. It felt good, though. I haven't run in a long long time. It kind of hurt, but it was a good hurt. And the chilly weather made it better. Though, the tip of my nose was a bit numb.
I can see why he liked this.
I tried my hardest to open the front door as quietly as I could when I returned, but it turned out Kevin
was already up, making breakfast
"Kevin, good morning..!"
"Good morning! How was your run?"
He pulled me in for a kiss on the cheek, remarking on how cold my face was
"It was good, actually. I can't feel my nose. But it was good.." I giggled
"Good. What prompted you to take a run? I don't think I've seen you do that willingly before"
"I started thinking thoughts I didn't want to think. I know it tends to help you when you're stressed or upset.. I thought I'd give it a shot."
"How did it work?"
"It actually worked well.. I feel good"
"That's awesome.. I got you some breakfast, you're just in time."
"Oh, you're the best.. I'm starving."
"I bet."
He handed me a bowl of cereal, giving me a loving smile
"..what're you looking at me like that for?"
"Oh, nothing.. I'm just a lucky guy.." he smiled, leaning his back against the counter, and taking a spoonful of his cereal
"Oh- come on.."
"I am!"
My blushing would be apparent if it weren't for how red my cheeks already were from the cold.
"How did you sleep?" I asked to change the subject.
"I slept okay. It took a bit for me to actually fall asleep, though."
"I'm sorry.."
"It's alright. It's not your fault."
"I suppose.."
"....so, my mother wants us to meet her boyfriend. She's having him for dinner tonight, she'd like us to come."
"She wants me there too?"
"Of course she does. Why wouldn't she? ...you know she adores you. You're the second child she never got"
"I'm glad she wants me. Are we able to go?"
"Yeah! I'm looking forward to meeting him.. I hope he's a good guy. For his own sake, he'd better be" he chuckled
"I'm sure he's a great guy.."
"I know she's an adult, but I don't want her to get hurt. After my father, then Jeff, I don't want her to get her heart broken again. She's my mom, after all.."
"I know you're protective of her. You're protective of everyone you love. But she's got a good head on her shoulders. If he truly is a horrible person, don't hesitate to throw down. But just trust that she can fend for herself."
"I know she can. It's just my instinct, you know? I don't want the people I love to get hurt. I'm a protective guy. After seeing what people can do, I've always been... guarded. Not always just for myself. For everyone I care about."
"I know. You're a very sweet kid. But it's not your job to protect her. You don't have to."
"Yeah... you're right."
"I'm sure he's wonderful. Do you know his name?"
"I don't"
"What time does she want us over?"
"Six"
"Sounds good. Tell her I look forward to meeting him."
"Will do. I was going to go to the gym today, I'm assuming that you don't want to go with me, after that run."
"I'll go with you! I just won't be doing any vigorous exercise"
"You're sure you want to go?"
"Yeah. Trust me, I'm perfectly okay with watching you work out" I smirked
Kevin rolled his eyes a bit
"You're such a dork."
"You like this dork"
"I love that dork."
"...this dork wants a kiss"
"How badly?"
"Very badly. You're very cute. And I want a kiss very badly"
"Then you've gotta come to me, I'm not moving from this spot"
"Ugh, you're so stubborn" I grumbled, setting my bowl down, and walking to him.
"Very much so."
He pulled me closer by the fabric of my shirt, giving me that dopey smile that erased any agitation.
"So how about that kiss..?"
-
-
-
"Kevin, you've gotta hurry!"
"I'm nearly done! We only live a few minutes away, it's no rush" he insisted, exiting the bathroom
"What took you so long?"
"I was trying to make my hair look presentable. It's a mess today"
"You're such a freaking prettyboy. Are you ready to go?"
"Yes, I'm ready, you jerk" he opened the front door for me, before whispering "you look very nice..."
"What was that?" I said teasingly
"You look very nice!! You're still a jerk, though" he giggled
"Thank you, ya flower"
"Wow!! So rude. And you wonder why you don't make friends, McKinley.." he said, trying to keep himself from laughing
"Wow, you're going right for the bone, huh? I respect that" i smirked
Let me preface by saying Kevin would never say anything to hurt my feelings. He never seriously gives more than a firm push when I need it. He knows my limits, and what hurts me, and he doesn't refrain from teasing me and joking with me. He just stays away from things that could actually hurt me. As do I with him. People always make such a big deal out of how 'impossible it is to be funny without hurting feelings' but it's really not hard. You just have to have an actual sense of humor, beyond dirt level attempts at jokes. It's really not hard to be funny without actually hurting people's feelings. People who say so just have a very brief sense of humor.
"Thank you, I thought you might. I thinking perhaps I could take the easy route and make a joke about your squeaky voice, but I thought 'no, you've gotta go all in, or not at all" he smiled, setting his hand on my back, and opening, then closing my car door for me.
It's mind blowing how one man can be so gentlemanly, yet such a nuisance at the same time. It's one of his talents.
"My voice isn't that squeaky..!" I insisted, my voice squeaking in the process, causing him to crack up
"Ohh, that was fantastic!! You're such a freaking dork, I love you."
"Shut up" I giggled, embarrassed
"You're a cutie.... are you nervous to meet mom's boyfriend?"
"A little, actually, yeah."
"Me too. From what she says, he seems very nice, though."
I don't know what I was so nervous about, really. I'm just prone to being nervous. I grew more anxious as we reached the driveway
"Oh, God, we're here.."
"Do you need a minute before we go in?"
"No.. no, I'm being ridiculous, I'll be fine. I just have to get in there."
"Alright. Let's just get in."
He took my hand from the moment we were out of the car, walking me up to the door.
He knocked twice before opening the door
"Mom?"
"Kevin, you're here!! Come in, boys, it's cold out"
"It's not too bad, actually." He smiled, closing the door behind me.
"Come on, there's someone I'd like you to meet"
"Its it my birth mother?" I joked, Kevin nudging me with his elbow
"It's Steve. He works at the bank and he's dying to meet you two."
She walked us into the living room, where we were met with a tall man, slighter older than herself. He looked kind. I know looks can be deceiving, but he looked like a genuinely nice man.
"Steve, it's nice to meet you.. I'm Kevin. I'm her son. I think you knew that, though..." he said, awkwardly trying to introduce himself well "uhhh, this is my husband. Connor."
"It's nice to meet you, Steve."
"You too. I like your hair. Mine used to be like that. Then I got old" he chuckled
"Thank you!!"
"Who doesn't love his hair? It's so pretty.." Kevin grinned, running his hand through it
"Kev, cut it out, it's dinner, not a brothel"
"A brothel!? Darling, I'm not quite sure you know what a brothel is." Kevin giggled, continuing to play with my hair
"Based on your tone, you're probably right.. let's stop talking about brothels; Steve do you have any kids?"
"I do! A boy and a girl. Son's in his thirties, daughter's in her twenties."
"Oh, how wonderful! What are their names?"
"William and Sophie"
"That's fantastic. I want kids some day.."
"We'll get there, baby.."
"I know. I'm just so excited for it."
"Me too.. what do your kids do for work?"
"My daughter's studying law, and my son works at a car dealership."
"That's just wonderful."
"I'm so proud of em both."
"You should be! My parents couldn't be proud of me if I was a supreme court judge" i scoffed
"Connor, what do you do for work"
"Oh, uh, Kevin here is the breadwinner. I stay home.. I can't work at the moment.."
"Oh, that's too bad.. it's good that you have Kevin so he can support you"
"It certainly is a plus of having Kevin" I smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder
"You're sweet... mom, did you need any help with dinner?"
"No, that's alright. Go on, talk amongst yourselves."
"Alright! So, Steve, how long have you worked at the bank?" Kevin asked, the three of us walking into the living room
"Oh, twenty years at least."
"Do you like it there?"
"I do! Surprisingly enough, I love working there"
"Is that how you and my mom met?"
"Actually, yes. She went in, to make a deposit. We struck a conversation, and I asked her to have dinner with me. Here we are, several odd months later"
"That's nice.."
"It turns out, her check wouldn't be the only deposit of the evening. The second, being Cupid's arrow into my heart"
"Oh, shut up, Steve" she called from the kitchen, making everyone laugh
"You guys are sweet.." I smiled
I like this guy. He seems to genuinely care for her. And he doesn't care that Kevin and I are together. He didn't even bat an eye. It was nice.
"You don't hate me, right..?" I asked "her last boyfriend hated me. You don't, right?"
"Well, I've just met you, but I don't see any reason why I wouldn't like you. You seem like a sweet kid."
"Okay, cool.."
"Is everything alright, Love?" Kevin asked gently, setting a hand on my back
"Yeah. I just wanted to make sure before I got attached to him. Jeff was great until all of the sudden he was mocking me for my inability to work, and calling me a fag. I want to avoid circumstances like that in the future, if possible.."
"Gee, you kiss your husband with that mouth?" Kevin joked, making me crack another smile
"Man, that's awful.. I assure you, I don't think either of those things. You seem like good, honest, hardworking men. Again, we only just met, but my instincts are usually correct. And my gut is telling me you're good kids."
"Thank you... sorry I made it a bit uncomfortable, I just wanted to prevent another incident if I had to... I'm like you in this, Kev, I don't want her to get hurt. She really likes you, I don't want to let it go further if you're gonna end up breaking her heart with something we could've prevented.."
"No, I understand. I love your mother, I don't want her getting hurt either. I promise, though, I am an honest and open minded man. It doesn't bother me in the slightest that-"
"You love my mom...?" Kevin interrupted
"Oh...um.."
"Dinner's ready, everyone!" She called, Kevin immediately walking briskly to the kitchen
The entire dinner was incredibly awkward. Kevin's mother hadn't heard a thing he said, making her the only one that wasn't uncomfortable.
"So... did you all like the meal?"
We all nodded silently
"....It's a wonderful dinner, Honey" Steve said, making Kevin nearly choke on his food.
"Are you okay, Kev?"
"Yeah.. I think I need some air, is all" he excused himself from the table, going out to the front steps of the house.
"What was that...?" His mom asked, thoroughly confused
"I'll go check up on him.. Make sure everything's alright.. keep on with your meal"
I got up myself, and exited the house, sitting down next to him on the steps.
"Kevin, what's the matter..?"
"I don't know.. I've never heard that before. Not from anyone other than my dad..."
"Well, you both hate him. This man genuinely loves and wants what's best for her.. isn't that what you've been saying you want?"
"It is! It's all I want for her, to be loved and appreciated. And cared for. I'm just being selfish and stupid.. I just.. Didn't expect it so quickly. From a man I didn't know. And.. it's so weird to hear anyone other than my dad say stuff like that.. I didn't think it would be as.. surprising as it was"
"That's normal.. you're not used to it. But you will be some day. You like him, don't you?"
"I do! I think he's very nice. And he loves her..!"
"So, what's the problem."
"I... Don't know."
"I know it's weird. And foreign. But you like this guy. And he likes her. It'll take a bit to get used to, but.. is there really any problem..?"
"No.. I'm just being stupid. I just need some time.. it's new."
"I know. But you're okay now..?"
"Yes, I'm alright.. I just need to cool down. I'm just being dumb.."
"Should I give you some time alone, or would you like me to stay?"
"Stay."
"Alright.."
I set a hand on his thigh.
"I feel badly about leaving. And being rude. I was just.. shocked."
"I know. You don't have to explain yourself to me."
"Though, I feel I owe Steve an apology.."
"I'm not to say.. though I fear he thinks you disapprove of him.."
"I don't."
"Perhaps you should let him know."
"Perhaps.."
We spent a few extra minutes outside, before coming back in, both of them already finished with dinner.
"Kevin.. is everything okay?" Mrs. Price asked
"Yes.. uh, Steve would it be a burden to have a moment with you?"
"Not at all.."
"Great. Uhh, thank you.."
He and Kevin walked into the living room, leaving Mrs. Price and I to converse
"He's fine... He was just a little anxious. That's all"
We could hear what was being said, though we tried to block it out, out of courtesy. But we did overhear
"Look, I'm sorry.. I was a bit cold to you. I was just taken by surprise.. I've only ever heard my father say that.. I'm glad you're with her. She deserves the best, and you seem to want to give her that... I'm just not used to hearing that from anyone but my dad... even years later. And I'm sorry. I made you feel unwelcome. And you're not. I'm glad she's getting the love she deserves. She never got that from my dad, and it's well past due.. can you forgive me?"
"There's nothing that needs forgiving. You were startled. I get that. I mean, you've never even met me before. I think it's settled even" he chuckled softly
"That's fantastic.." Kevin smile, shaking his hand "you're a nice guy, Stephen. Just know that if you hurt her, you're going down."
"That's fair"
They took a few seconds, before coming back to the kitchen.
"Everything okay?" I asked, pretending we couldn't hear every word they said
"Yeah. Yeah, everything's great." Kevin smiled, walking back to me. He tried to lean his face to my temple, but his glasses just pushed against his face, and mine. Frustrated with his glasses for getting in the way, he tiled his head to the left, pecking a quick kiss on my cheekbone
"Darling-" I giggled, swatting him away
"What?" He mumbled, pouting
"Stop it, There's company. We can kiss all you'd like, at home, okay?"
"It's just a kiss. And it's only mom and her boyfriend, I don't think that's too scandalous. Unless a cheek kiss is too promiscuous for public display"
"I'll leave it to the jury"
"Well if it sways the jury one way or the other, I brought pie, and if they vote against me, they get no pie"
"The jury concludes it acceptable. Where's the pie?" She interjected
"Good answer" he popped a kiss on my cheek "I put it in your fridge"