"I'm nervous.."
"Understandable. I'm nervous too."
"I'm nervous about the plane as well.. I always get nervous on planes.
"It'll be okay. Once we're up in the sky, you won't be so nervous.."
"I hope.."
"And then we'll have a nice flight, and land in Salt Lake.."
"And we'll see Grammy..."
"I know you're scared. I am too. But this is important to you. And it's going to be good for both of you."
"I know.. we should probably board before I chicken out" I chuckled
"Sounds like a plan.... just take a deep breath. I have a feeling this is going to be really good"
"I sure hope so.."
The flight to Utah was a long one. I was able to catch a long nap on the flight, waking to the plane, run long . I was immediately frightened, but Kevin, who was still awake, was quick to calm me.
"It's alright.. just some turbulence..don't worry. Try to get back to sleep.."
"I-I'm sorry... I woke up to it, I feared the worst.."
"It's okay. You're alright. We'll land in about an hour longer.. try to just relax."
I nodded and squeezed his hand quickly, before he set it on my leg. It helped put me at ease. It always made me feel better.
"Sing me to sleep, will you?"
"Not here, Sunshine.. just shut your eyes.. you'll be asleep in no time.."
I nodded and shut my eyes, trying to focus on the calming feeling of his hand on my thigh. It was able to fall back asleep, and woke during landing. By then, Kevin was asleep as well.
"Sweetheart.. get up, we're here.."
He protested a bit, still half asleep, but prepared to exit the plane when he realized that we had landed.
We caught a taxi to my grandmother's house, which is something I've never done before. They don't have a lot of taxis in small town connecticut.
"Do I look alright? Do I look presentable?" I asked as we turned down her street.
"You look adorable. Do I look okay?"
"You look great.. I'm scared."
"Don't be. She clearly wants to smooth things over. She's ready to open her mind.. and her heart, too.."
"..as nervous as I am, I'm very excited.. I have a shot at having a family.."
"I'm so excited for you, Connor.. this will be wonderful."
"God, we're here.. last time we were here, she was ordering us out."
"I know.. but she invited us back for a reason. She wants to be in your life.."
"...Tell me it'll be okay" I sighed, getting ready to get out of the car.
"It'll be okay, Connor. I'm sure of it."
That gave me the final push to get out of the car, and walk up to her house. Kevin was standing behind me, his hand on my shoulder. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, and it was answered quickly.
"...Hello." I greeted, forcing a small smile.
"Hi.. uh, come in.. I'm glad you're here."
We entered the living room. It felt more welcoming than last time.
"Thank you for inviting us.. it's nice to see you again."
"Of course... why don't you put your stuff in the guest room, Connor. Kevin, there's a spare bedroom down the hall.."
"Grammy, we share a bed.."
"It's okay. This is all new to her. She needs some time to get comfortable.. I understand. We can sleep in different rooms.." Kevin whispered to me
"Kev, I can't sleep without you.."
"It's okay. We'll figure it out later, alright?"
"Okay.."
He gave me a quick pat on the back, before we went our separate ways to the bedrooms.
We met back in the living room, sitting down on the couch. Typically, we're glued next to each other, but we kept a bit of space between us. We were too nervous to be as affectionate as we usually are.
"So.. can I ask some questions?" She asked, sat at the chair across from us
"Yeah.. it depends what the questions are.."
"..was your marriage legal?"
"Yes. We are legally married."
"why did you choose men over women..?"
"I didn't. I've never been attracted to a woman before. Not at all. Not once in my life. The way most men feel that attraction and.. love.. towards women, I feel for men. I could never be happy with a woman.. when I first noticed myself feeling this way towards men, I was mortified. I hated myself. I prayed, I begged, I tried to make it go away. But I couldn't.. God made me this way. And despite what members of the church have said to me, I know that God loves me. And that he would never punish someone for the simple, involuntary act of falling in love.. I didn't choose it. But it's the way I am."
She nodded, clearly trying her hardest to digest everything I was telling her.
"..what about you, Kevin?"
"Me? Well.. I was the same way. While Connor could never bring himself to even pursue dating women, I forced myself to try for a bit.. I thought if I just kept on, I could learn to live with it. They were wonderful girls, and I did care about them, just the same as I care for my other friends.. but I felt nothing more towards any of them, no matter how hard I tried.. I thought I was broken. I didn't understand why I couldn't feel what other people did.. one actually tried to.. become.. intimate with me, and I ran out of her house before she could try anything further than kissing.." he chuckled slightly "Not long after, I met my first boyfriend.. I didn't fall in love until I met Connor, but even with my first boyfriend, I started to understand what other people were talking about.. it was a relief.. I knew I wasn't broken.. just different."
"Okay.."
"I know this is overwhelming, Grammy, I understand.. but I appreciate you wanting to understand. It means more to me than you know.." I said, finally able to give a genuine smile.
"I feel terrible about the things I did to you. And what I said. Nobody should be treated like that. No matter what. I want to do what I can to be a part of your life.. and I want to understand you better. I don't want to just tolerate you despite this new information.. I want to understand. So I can love you the way I should have.. you're my grandson. And when I thought about it from a different perspective.. thought about it as someone berating, insulting and shunning my grandson.. I would be so upset with anyone who did that. But I did it to you. Just because of this. You're still my grandson. And my grandson won't be treated that way.."
"...Thank you." I smiled, getting up and pulling her into a hug. I haven't been hugged by a family member in years upon years... it was so nice to be hugged i felt accepted. Loved. Something I haven't felt from family in quite a while. I shut my eyes briefly, to hold back a few tears I felt forming.
"Thank you.." I repeated, sitting back down on the couch. Kevin smiled and rubbed my arm
"Are you two... how are you two going to have a family?"
"There's adoption.. surrogacy.. with surrogacy, it's possible for a biological child. Though only one of of would be blood related.. so I lean more toward adoption.. though I'm not dead set on it. Whatever Connor wants, I'll be happy with. Raising a child with him is all I want, it doesn't have to biologically be my child.. just our child." Kevin grinned
"Two men can raise a baby..? I heard that the baby ends up badly when it's not a mom and a dad.."
"Well.. I never hear that about single moms or single dads. Only when it's two moms or two dads, does anyone say that it's 'cruel to not give a child a mother and father'. As long as it's loved and raised to be a good person, it's no different from any other parents.."
"Which one of you is the man of the relationship?"
"..both of us."
"But which one has the.. masculine role?"
"We both do. Kevin's not strictly masculine and dominant, and neither am I. We both have different masculinities. We share roles. We even each other out nicely.. there doesn't have to be a 'masculine one and a feminine one' in a relationship.."
"Okay.."
"It's like any other marriage.. the only difference is that I'm a guy."
She seemed eager to understand, despite how confused by all the information she was. I was just grateful that she wanted to learn. And she wanted to understand and accept me. Not everyone is willing to do that.
Im lucky.
As the night went on, Kevin and I got more comfortable showing each other affection. She tried her hardest not to stare at us when we were holding hands, but she truly had never seen anything like that before. She's lived an incredibly sheltered life. She's trying her best. That's all we can ask of her.
She continued her questions during dinner, though she spoke quietly, as we were in a restaurant, and didn't want to draw attention to us or herself.
"Kevin, how do your parents feel about it..?"
"Well.. my father didn't do well with it. He left. He only ever came back when he thought I had 'changed'. Or when he tried to get custody of me, so he could move me out of state and make sure I wasn't pursuing any men.. he's out of the picture. My mother, on the other hand has been fantastic.. she didn't fully understand at first, but she still loved me. She didn't care if I fell in love with a guy or a girl, as long as I was happy, with them.. she's great.. she took on Connor as one of her own, really.. she loves him so much. He's a son to her.. has been for a long time.."
"She's amazing.. I'm so grateful for her.." I smiled, looking down at my lap
"Connor, what do your mom and dad think?"
I'd briefly mentioned it once before, but it's likely she's forgotten.
"Oh.. uh... my mother walked out. I never saw her again we have no idea where she went.. I assume she has another family somewhere.. my father hated it.. he would beat me senseless if he caught me even talking to Kevin.." I said with a slight nervous chuckle, too embarrassed to be genuinely vulnerable "he went off somewhere, leaving me to live in a house with no water or electricity for months.. and then he came back and persecuted me for living in "his house" which he wasn't even paying for... I moved in with my granddad.. my father's father.. he was wonderful. He loved me.. and he loved Kevin.. and he hated anyone who even looked at us strangely... I dunno where my dad is, last I saw of him, he was trying to break my door down and screaming that he'd kill us both.. needless to say, he didn't take it so well"
Kevin set his hand on my back, gently rubbing up and down.
'I'm okay..' I whispered to reassure him
"You've seen a lot, huh..?" She said, a lot visibly on her mind
You have no idea.
"Yeah.. I'm okay, though.. and I'm so glad you don't hate me. Oh, it crushed me when you told me to leave, I'm so so pleased you'll accept us back into your home.."
"Don't thank me. I was wrong to act the way I did. I should thank you for forgiving me.."
"I'm just so glad to be in your life again.. and I'm so glad Kevin's here with me.."
"I'm glad I'm here too.."
Kevin held my hand under the table for the entire evening. It was nice. He makes me feel brave. I wouldn't have gotten on that plane if he weren't with me. And I wouldn't have been able to get through the day of questioning so easily. But, he's there with me. He will help calm me when need be, and I will do the same for him. He's even more nervous than I am. It'd kill him if this trip ended poorly. He just wants me to be happy. And this trip has potential to go very poorly.
"...how does it work?"
"How does what work?"
"You know.."
"I'm.. not sure I do. How does what work?"
Kevin gently nudged my side, raising an eyebrow. I then understood what she was referring to.
"Oh.. oh, uh... I-I'm not sure that's an appropriate subject, Grammy."
"Does it even happen?"
"I mean... yeah. We're two married adults.. it happens..." Kevin chimed in, sensing how uncomfortable I was with the conversation
"Oh...."
"Did.. you expect another answer?" I asked
"I'm not sure. It's all very overwhelming, is all.."
"I know it is.. but this is what my life is like.. I have no parents, Kevin only has one, we're married, but we still believe in god..we're happy despite all the challenges we face, and we love each other. I want you to be in my life. Because you're family and I love you.."
"..I may not understand it fully. But I love you. And... if I can learn to understand, I want to... you're my grandson. And I love you. Everyone deserves love. No matter what."
"Thank you.."
"I have to ask... are you still a latter day saint?"
"...that's complicated.. I do believe in God. But I'm not sure if I truly believe some of it or if I'm just afraid to disobey the church.."
"What if you don't get to the celestial kingdom?"
"I uh...I'm not sure if I believe in different levels of heaven..."
"Oh... that worries me.."
"I choose to think that it's just good people go to heaven.. truly bad people don't... and that our actions don't always dictate our character.. I don't think anyone would go to hell for.. drinking coffee, or kissing a guy.. it doesn't feel like that would be a deciding factor of a person's worth. And I don't think being a baptized member of a church is the only way God would make the 'best of heaven' accessible..."
"I just want the best for you.."
"I know you do. But after my marriage, I was excommunicated from the church. I can't be baptized again. And living by the church standards would take Kevin away from me.. my life would be a living Hell without him in it... the church isn't what's best for me. Living my life as who I am, with the man I love more than anything.. that's what's best for me."
"Okay.. you didn't have to get married. You could still be with him and be in the church!! Have both.."
My heart sunk
"I'm sorry if I've disappointed you.."
"....i love the church. I need it. But you're your own person.... I wish you could go to church. It'll ensure a good afterlife.. I don't want you to be unhappy in this life, but I don't want you to be unhappy after, either...I'll be praying for you. I hope you can go back to church someday. I want you both to be happy, in the celestial kingdom, with me and with your family.."
"...thank you."
She's trying. I just have to remember that she's trying. It's just difficult at times. I don't understand why she would think I'd happily spend eternity with my parents, or how my parents would ever happily be with me. I won't be with my parents after this life, I know that for a fact. But she doesn't seem to think about that. Only that "family stays together if you follow the church".
Kevin gently squeezed my hand to reassure me, letting himself look over to check on me.
I gave him a discreet nod to let him know I was alright, before I pushed my plate away. I suddenly felt sick. The smell of the once appetizing meal was only furthering my nausea.
"I'm going to go to the restroom, quickly, if you'll excuse me.." I sighed with a small smile, though it was the biggest I could put on.
"Oh okay.. are you alright?"
"Yeah.." I said, getting out of my seat, and heading to the bathroom. I had to get away from both her, and my food.
It was a single stall bathroom, So I was able to just lock myself in and sit on the sink counter. I just needed a moment to myself. It's been a stressful day. And i just want a minute to myself, where I don't have to be taught the truth of the gospel. I know she's trying her best, and I'm grateful for it, but that doesn't invalidate my frustrations. They're still very real. I took a deep breath, trying to remind myself that she's doing her best, and trying to just reset myself. Bring myself back to a clean slate, and rid myself of any annoyance or negative emotions I felt.
I was in there longer than I'd hoped to have been. I didn't even realize, until Kevin sent me a text.
"Is everything okay, Sweetheart? Love you."
He ends every text in 'I love you'. I'm not sure if he doesn't know how texts work, and think it's like an email, or if he just really likes to tell me that he loves me.
I didn't text him back, instead, coming back to the table. He had his phone under the table, typing something else, until he saw me back. He smiled and slid his phone back into his pocket.
"Hey!!" He grinned, before leaning in and whispering "is everything okay..?"
"Yeah.. just needed a little break..."
"Okay.. I'm glad you're back" he smiled, quickly kissing my temple, immediately making me feel more comfortable again.
"Thank you.." I grinned, taking a sip from my third glass of water that evening. I tend to drink a lot of water, or whatever's at hand, when I'm nervous. I still felt a bit too sick to finish my dinner.
"You've hardly touched your food.." my grandmother observed
"Well.. yeah, I'm not super hungry at the moment.."
"What's wrong..?" Kevin whispered
"Nothing"
He was clearly worried about me. He wants so badly for this to go well. He was so nervous about this trip. He was so scared it would go badly.
"..okay.. we'll talk about it later, okay?"
"Okay.."
He set his hand on my back, watching me closely.
I stayed quiet for the rest of the evening. My mood dropped pretty suddenly.
"Connor, would you help me unpack?" Kevin requested when we returned to my grandmother's house. I agreed and followed him into his room, where he closed the door behind us.
I went to reach for his backpack on the bed, but I was stopped by a hand on my shoulder.
"Can we talk about what's been bothering you?" He said, sitting down on the bed.
"Nothing's bothering me.."
"You're clearly upset. How about telling me why"
"It's nothing, really, it's just an overreaction, she said something that felt kinda crappy to hear, and i got upset, but I have no reason to be, she's not used to this at all, and she's trying hard to adjust and change and learn, just for me, I shouldn't be complaining, really, I shouldn't, I just-..... even though she's trying very hard, she's still going to say upsetting things.. that's a part of the deal. She's never dealt with anything like this before, she doesn't know what she said was hurtful. It's not her fault, I just need thicker skin.."
"Sweetheart, you're allowed to be upset. You're allowed to feel hurt. It's good that you understand she's trying her best, and that you understand where she comes from.. it's important to recognize that she's working. But you're still allowed to be hurt if she says something hurtful.. the fact that she's trying doesn't give her words an immunity. They still have the power to hurt. You shouldn't feel guilty for feeling poorly about something she said. It's important to acknowledge that she's learning, but it's important to acknowledge your own feelings too.. don't feel guilty."
I nodded, sitting down next to him
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah.. just a little upset. It's okay, though.."
"Why weren't you eating at dinner?"
"Once she started talking about how I should've stayed in the church instead of marrying you, and how she wanted to save us in the afterlife, I just started feeling sick.. I'm alright, I Promise."
"I'm sorry, Sweetheart... are you... okay to stay?"
"Yes.. yes. She didn't say it to hurt me. I'm fine."
"Okay.. I know this is difficult.. but I can't even tell you how proud of you I am just for coming back here.. even more so for forgiving her, and letting her ask questions. I'm just really proud of you."
"You're proud of me all the time. I could trip over a stone and you'd be proud of me"
"I am always proud of you!! You're worth being proud of. I want to put you on a pedestal and show you off to the world, so everyone can see how amazing you are. But I'm extra proud of you for stuff like this. You've done a lot to be proud of. You're awesome."
"Kev.." I smirked, rolling my eyes
"I'm telling you the truth!! I know I'm like.. a lame dad, cheering you on at a soccer game all the time, but I just think you're great!! I always thought you were great!!"
"Oh, thank you baby.."
"I do think you're great!"
"You know what's not great?"
"What?"
"That freaking shirt"
"What? You said you liked this shirt!"
"It looks good on you, but it's truly terrible.."
"I love this shirt.."
"It looks great on you! But it's really ugly."
"I like it!!"
"I like it, just only on you"
"....I look good in it, though?"
"You do... I will say you do look like... a bit of a.. uh... what's the word?"
"Fag?"
"That's the one" I joked
"This is a normal shirt, you know. A bunch of guys wear shirts like this. Mine is better than a lot of theirs, too. Mine is just blue with white buttons and different types of boats, I saw one once with three hundred Bill Clintons on it"
"It's just that it's tight. And the top three buttons are undone. It looks fucking hot on you, but it is quite the ugly shirt" I chuckled, kissing him on the jaw.
"Then maybe I'll just take it off" he smirked
"....I wholeheartedly support that idea"
"I had a feeling you might" he said with a chuckle, as I set my hand on his stomach and took it up to his chest.
"You're so handsome.." I sighed, watching my own hand move across his core.
"Baby, don't get too handsy, we're still at your grandmother's.."
"I know.. I'm just telling you how handsome you are.." I said, slightly defensively, though still rubbing his chest
"You know exactly what you're doing..."
He's right. I know that I'm doing to him. But I love to pretend I don't, and just watch him pretend it does nothing at all to him. If I act like I'm not doing anything, he'll act like I'm not too. It's fun to watch him try to stay still. Watch him try to pretend he's unbothered. It's like when you're walking with someone you have unspoken feelings for. And their hand brushes yours. If they don't notice it, you'll pretend you didn't either.
"What do you mean?" I questioned innocently
"Never mind." He smirked slightly, biting on his bottom lip to fight any further smile.
His stomach is incredibly firm compared to mine. It's not like my stomach is big or anything, it's flat and all. But his is just crazy firm. I don't know exactly what exercises he does to make his body look and feel the way it does, but whatever they are, they do wonders. His body is built like a marble sculpture. I'll never not be amazed by him.
My head resting on his shoulder, my hand let itself further down his body, just below his belt. Kevin's back stiffened a bit, as he squirmed slightly.
He chewed his bottom lip, watching my hand closely.
I moved down to his leg, traveling up his inner thigh. As I got higher up, a quiet moan escaped his lips. He silenced it as much as he could, but I still heard it clearly. His eyes widened, and he quickly stood back up, rummaging through his bag. His cheeks were bright red.
"Why don't I unpack now, I think I should unpack, do you want to help?" He rushed, clearly embarrassed.
"Sure.." I chuckled, getting up and helping him unpack his things.
"....you did that on purpose, didn't you?"
"Did what?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"...fine. I just like watching you get all antsy..."
"You're so aggravating" he smirked
"I know I am.."
-
-
-
Overall, it was a nice trip. She said nothing when Kevin and I went to the same room to sleep. She tried her hardest to stay in line with things she said. She slipped up a few times, but she really did try. And we appreciated it. It was so good to be with her again. I was so unbelievably pleased to have a family member again.
Unfortunately though, Kevin had to go back to work at some point. So, we flew back home at the end of the week. It was definitely a positive experience.
I hope she feels the same way.
I hate being home while Kevin's at work. I'm an incredibly social person, I need to be around people. Preferably Kevin. I get a bit lonely at home alone. But I've found ways to fill my day. I took a long bike ride. I actually rode all the way out of town. I went a few towns over, and browsed at the library, checked out a few books. I bought Kevin a muffin from a bakery next door to the library, as he was on my mind, and blueberry muffins are like a drug to him. If there's anyone who loves blueberry muffins more than Kevin, I don't want to meet that person.
Satisfied with the events of the day, I began my journey back home.
With only a third of the way left to go, I slowed down on my bike. I was ahead of schedule, and I had a nice view. It was a rather woodsy area. All you could hear is wind rustling in the autumn leaves, as well as the occasional crow's call. But one sound stuck out to me. Meowing. It was high pitched and weak. I immediately stopped my bike, looking around, hoping to locate the source of the mewing.
On the side of the road, I found a small gray kitten, calling from inside a muddy cardboard box. The animal was shaking, likely from the cold.
Almost instinctively, I pulled my extra hoodie out of my backpack, putting it down in the basket of my bike. I picked up the cat and set it in the basket, hoping the sweater would be able to help warm her up a little. It is beyond me how anyone could leave an animal like this out in a box on the side of the road, in a cold October. The poor thing looks so fragile, my heart aches for it.
I try not to judge people I don't know well, nor do I tend to hate people. Hate anyone that hasn't deeply hurt me. I don't know who the person that abandoned her is, but I know that I hate them. I hate them with a burning passion. I hate anyone who mistreats an animal, especially one as weak and defenseless as this.
"You have to stay in the basket, okay? It's safe in there.." I said to the kitten, as if she could understand me.
Nevertheless, I'm not so sure she could jump from the basket if she tried. She is incredibly shaky, I'm hardly sure how she can even stand like that. I'm not certain she can walk or jump well. I rode slowly, still, just in case.
I talked to her the whole way home. I felt like it might make her feel better somehow.
When I got home, I brought her inside, keeping her in my arms while I searched the medicine cabinet until I found Frida's flea shampoo that we bought for her ages ago and never ended up needing. I can assume this cat has some fleas.
"Alright, sweetheart.. I know you probably won't be thrilled about this, but it's gonna make you feel better.. besides a nice warm bath is just what you need.."
Her fur was decorated with mud from the box on the road, as well as dirt. She will greatly benefit from this bath.
I turned on the sink and waited for it to warm up to a comfortable temperature for her.
As I suspected, she wasn't thrilled, but she didn't put up too much of a fuss. She didn't hiss or try to run or scratch. She squirmed a bit, with the occasional mew, though her claws dug into my hand a bit. She wasn't try to hurt me, you can tell. She was just scared, and trying to hold on. Frida does the same when Kevin has to bathe her. She just grabs on, and pokes you, but doesn't intentionally outright scratch.
I made extra sure the be gentle, especially when drying her off. When she was cleaned up, she looked like a whole new cat. I gave her a small dish of Frida's food, which she mostly ignored. Frida didn't mind sharing, though. She's hardly batted an eye at the new cat.
It wasn't long after I finished bathing and feeding the cat, that Kevin returned from work. This one should be fun to explain.
"I'm home, Con!" He called out
"Hello!!" I shouted back from the bedroom.
He made his way up the stairs, stopping when he saw the kitten curled up on our bed.
"...What's goin' on?"
"I found her on the side of the road.."
"You brought her home with you?"
I nodded in response
"Christ, Connor.." he sighed, chuckling softly to indicate that he wasn't angry with me
"She was in a box, all covered with mud, and shaking, I couldn't leave her!!"
Kevin walked over to get a closer look at the kitten, crouching down before the bed.
"I've taken good care of her, I kept her warm and gave her food and a bath..she hasn't eaten yet, though.."
"That's very sweet.. you have a good heart.. Should I call the shelter and see if they can take her?"
"Well.... I'd be so worried, not being able to watch her.. we've gotten very close, I'd be so worried.."
"...so, I'm inferring that we now have a second cat?"
I nodded
"Alright... you're sure?"
"Yes.. I can't leave her with a stranger. She trusts me. And I love her."
"Well... what will we name her, then?"
"...we get to keep her?"
"Yes. But we have to bring her to the vet within the next few days. Make sure she isn't sick. We don't want Frida getting sick."
"Oh, thank goodness! I know I just met her today, but I'd be crushed to put her in the hands of someone else! I don't want her to be in a cage for a year until someone adopts her, she deserves a home. And she likes me, I helped her.."
Kevin smiled, staring at me for a while.
"...you're the most kindhearted man I've ever met.. what's her name gonna be?"
"I haven't thought about it too much.. what do you think?"
"You know her better than I do... she has such cute little cheeks.. she's very thin, but she still has chubby cheeks.. she looks like a little dumpling" he giggled
"Awh, she does.. maybe that should be her name"
"Dumpling?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh, that's adorable.. I love it."
"Dumpling it is, then." I chuckled
Kevin reached over and gently pet the cat, a little overly cautious. He was afraid he'd break her, and honestly I get where he's coming from. The poor thing's in bad shape.
It took her a few days to start actually eating. Once she started eating and drinking sustainably, we worried less, but there was one thing we were still worried about. She hasn't been walking. We're not sure she can. If she can't, we don't know why. Perhaps she was injured, perhaps she was sick or deficient of something. I don't know. I have to carry her everywhere she needs to go. She tries to walk, but he back legs mostly just fold beneath her. She can't take more than a step. She doesn't seem ill, otherwise. She seems to be healthy. We've exhausted every option. She just hasn't done it yet. I'm worried for her. I don't know what we'd do if she never walks. We can't be there to get her to food and to the bathroom when she needs too, not to mention that she'd have to stay in one spot for as long as we were away. We might have to give her up to a shelter. It's been weeks, and it'd crush me to give her up. Even Kevin loved her.
"Kevvy, what do I do...?" I whined, growing increasingly worried
"I don't know... have you tried setting down some treats or food for her that she could try to walk to?"
"Every day. She tries to get them, but she can't. It's getting a little better, she can drag herself a little... it's the back legs, they can't hold her up very long.."
"I don't know.."
"Do you think it's hurting her?"
"It doesn't seem like she's in pain.."
"I'm just so worried for her.."
"I know you are, Sweetheart.. we'll figure something out, though.. it'll be okay.."
"Okay.."
"I'm going to head off to work.. try not to worry too much."
"I'll try. Have a good day, okay?"
"You too. I love you"
"I love you too"
He gave me a kiss goodbye, before heading out to work.
I spent hours with the cat, trying to get her to walk more than two steps. She was doing so well with everything else. She had warmed right up to Frida, they became the best of friends very quickly Frida would sleep right next to her, and give her baths. They were already as close as can be.
"Let's try this again, okay, bud?" I said, setting her down on the floor.
I put down some cat treats on the floor, a few inches away from her. Behind that one, I set another.
"Come here, Dumpling- god, that's a stupid name- come on.. you're almost there.."
She took a step.
"Oh, good job, Cutie... come on, one more.." i put down another, and she stepped towards it. This would be about the time she would have to stop.
Nevertheless, she pushed forward and took another step.
I was absolutely beaming.
"Good job!! Holy smokes..!" I giggled, continuing to call her over to me. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and called Kevin, not taking eyes off the kitten.
"Hello?" He answered
"Kevin!! Kevin, she's doing it!"
"What's going on?"
"The cat, she's walking!!! It's only a few steps more so far, but oh my gosh, she did it!!"
"That's amazing!! How's she doing?"
"So good!!! So good! Kevin, I can't believe it!!"
She stopped after a few more steps, but I couldn't be more pleased. She got in eight total steps.
"Dumpling, I am so proud of you!! Kevin, I'm so proud of her!!"
"I am too!! I'll admit, I was worried"
"Me too! But she's doing better! She did it!!"
"Is she walking still?"
"No, she's stopped. Eight steps."
"That's amazing.."
"I know!! She's amazing!!"
"I should get going. We're off early, though, I'll be home for lunch.."
"You will?"
"Yeah. I'll bring something home for us"
"This is just the best day ever!! I can't wait to see you!!"
"Me neither. I'll see you soon. Love you, Sunshine."
"Love you too, Kev"
I hung up, and scooped up the cat into my arms, though it fit in two hands.
"Your dad is gonna be so glad to se you.." I doted
I'm well aware that it's unusual to call yourself and your husband 'dads' to your cat, but we love those cats. They're our children.
"He's gonna be so proud of you.. we both are.." i said, kissing the top of her head, and setting her down on the couch, next to me.
Kevin came back within the hour, smiling widely when he saw us.
"Hey, baby!" I grinned
"Hey!! How's the kitty doing?"
"She's great! I couldn't be more proud of her!"
"I'm so glad she's doing well... you never told me exactly how you came across her." He said, setting down the food he's brought home for us, on the table.
"Oh- I was at the library. On my way home, actually.. and I heard meowing on the side of the road.. she was in a box, on the side of the road.."
"That's awful... who would do something like that?"
"I don't know... i took her home and here we are.. we have a vet appointment for tomorrow, maybe she can tell us what's up with Dumpling's legs"
"That'll be good. Maybe we'll be able to figure it out and help her."
"I hope so.. she's just the sweetest little thing"
"You're the sweetest little thing. Come on, you should eat something. I know you're not a breakfast person. So, you need some lunch, at least."
"Okay.. how was work?"
I sat down at the kitchen counter, Kevin across from me.
"It was alright. I missed you.. you were on my mind all day"
"I missed you too.."
"As embarrassing as it is, you're on my mind constantly.. every time we're apart, I miss you"
"I feel the same.. we'd drive each other crazy if we were together constantly, but i'm so lonely when you're gone.."
"Well.. they say absence makes the heart grow fonder."
"It couldn't be truer"
"Well.. I'm not certain it's possible for me to grow any fonder of you than I already am.." he smirked, reaching over the table for my hand.
"Oh, sweetheart.."
"...you're the love of my life" he chuckled with a whisper, looking down at my hand.
"you're making me blush.."
"Good.. it looks good on you.."
"Baby-" I warned
"Fine, I'll stop.. I just think you're incredible.."
"Hardly"
"Oh, don't be like that.. you're absolutely stunning. Not just physically, though you are, but you're also just.. so crazy smart. And loving and funny, and adorable- you're amazing. I could go on about you for hours.. I love every little thing."
"Oh, gosh.." I huffed, slightly annoyed with his charm, as I felt my heart flutter
"Alright, I'll stop.. i just love ya"
"I love you too... you.. aggravatingly charming pretty-boy.." I chuckled
He gave a cocksure smirk, before standing up and walking around the table, sitting down in the chair next to me.
"I missed you." He smiled softly, looking me up and down
"I can tell.. you're looking at me like you haven't seen me in ages."
"It feels like it. I hate being away from you. I love work, I do, but you just make me so happy."
"Oh, you're a sweetheart"
"After lunch, you know what I want to do?"
"What?"
"I want to lay down on that couch with you and watch a movie. I don't even care which movie. I just want to watch one with you."
"That'll be nice.."
"It will. I know I'm clingy today, but I can't help it, I adore you."
His smile as he finished his sentence made me feel like I had a Disney World fireworks show going off in my heart. I hate him for making me feel so thrilled with simple smiles. I hate him for being so perfect. But I love it at the same time. And I love him more than anything in the world.