-Mark's POV-
The start of the jog back to the house was full of tension. Whatever Hunter wanted to talk to me about couldn't be great, especially with the look he had on his face when he told me that it was important. He lead the way on the way back, and though he was moving slower so that I could keep up, you could see the change in his stride. It was no longer carefree and powerful, but almost full of concern, and even regret.
It surprised me when instead of taking a left turn back to the side road to the street where our house was, he instead turned right and we headed towards the park. I decided that it would be best not to comment about it. Maybe curiosity was getting the best of me. He finally slowed down at a small cluster of trees in the shady part of the park near a small picnic table and water fountain. I glanced around to see though the day was getting bright and sunny, that we were the only ones around.
"Scenic route that you're taking us on," I asked, trying to break the odd silence, "Or did you forget where I lived?"
Hunter gave a small chuckle as he headed to the water fountain, bending over and taking a long drink before sitting down at the picnic table. His face had the same look of severe seriousness that was unsettling as he turned to me.
"Wanted to have that important talk with you," he quietly said. "Thought that a pretty place like this will help..."
Hie voice trailed off as he looked down to his hands, and we went silent again. Part of me wanted to try to slide off to the side and text Jack. To let him know what was going on, or at least what I though might be going on, but I didn't want to interrupt whatever Hunter's train of thought was at. Also, something told me to let this play out. I had prepared for him finally saying something to me. Everyone had prepared for it. Everyone, except for him it seemed.
"Is everything all right?" I asked, as I sat down next to him.
His face was still angled towards his hands, and he shook his head slowly as he exhaled. He blinked, and his green eyes caught the light in a way that made them almost sparkle like stars. Was he fighting back tears?
"No, everything's not all right," he mentioned as he turned to look at me. I could feel my chest get tighter as I scanned his features. He seemed like he was radiating pain, and that every word he was telling me had to be pushed out of him.
"But," he continued, "it's either I try to make things right or try to move on. Doing nothing is too much for me, Fish. I'm tired of being stuck."
Shit, was this really it?
As almost as if he heard my thoughts, he sighed again, and gave a nod of his head. The confirmation wasn't for me, as far as I could tell. It was for him.
"Do you remember the dates we went on back in college?"
I was somewhat thrown by the question. It had been so many years ago, but I did remember.
"Sure. We went to that little Italian place down the street from the school book shop as out first date. The Taste of the Villas was the name of the place, I think?"
Hunter smiled, with his dimples returning in full force. He nudged my shoulder as he gave another chuckle.
"You're right. That was it. That day was really special for me. It was like waking up after a brilliant dream. I want to thank you for giving me a chance back then."
"What do you mean?"
He gave a roll of his eyes before he spoke again.
"I was such a skinny nerd back then. A good looking guy like you giving me the time a day would have left me on cloud nine for months, Fish. Granted we had been friends for a while, and the sex had been crazy, but dating is intimate. It's special to me, you know?"
I did. I agreed with him. Even with all of the awkwardness about sex and the incident in the classroom aside, I had to admit that I had a fairly nice time with the first date. It was during the second date that he had told me that he was in love with me. The pain of such a confession even rippled across me right now. I couldn't even imagine how I would of felt in the shower that night if Jack had told me that he didn't feel the same way about me that I did about him.
It would have broken my heart into pieces.
"I cared about you a lot back then," he whispered, his green eyes definitely full of quiet tears. There was no trick of the light this time. "I'm fairly even sure that I loved you, even before we got physical again. It hurt not being with you."
I didn't know what to say to this...confession? What was he doing? Where was this going?
"I know that whatever I do," he pushed on, though it seemed to be causing great effort, "I'm going to hurt people who I have grown to care about a lot. I've tried to figure out how to make everyone happy, even it it makes it so that I'm not."
He turned towards be, and our knees touched.
"I'm sorry to do this to you, Mark. It isn't fair, and it isn't right for me to do, but for once I need to try to finally feel like I'm breathing again."
"Hunter, I don't understand what you're - "
"I still have feelings for you," he said in a rush, and he winced as soon as the words left his lips. "And I know that it's wrong. I know that you're with Jack, and he makes you happy. I know that I'm potentially breaking up not only a very public relationship, but many friendships as well."
My heart was beating faster with the knowledge that this was actually happening. Every bone in my body was telling me that I needed to get out of there, but I stayed still. Felix's voice in the back of my head begging for me to please figure out a way around this that could hold me off from hurting him until Felix got back in a few months.
"If you tell me that you haven't got feelings for me anymore, or that I'm an asshole for doing this, or that there's nothing in any sort of future between us, just tell me, and I'll never bother you again. I'll even disappear out of your life forever, if that's what is best."
My mind is racing as I'm looking into his almost desperate eyes. The confession is beautiful and so full of pain and sadness. What do I say?
"Mark?"
Shit, what do I do?
"Do you still have feelings for me?"
"I can't hurt Jack," I said, almost apologetically.
He sighed as he blinked, as a few tears fell from his amazing eyes. I don't connect that he's leaning towards me until it's too late.
"Unfortunately, that doesn't answer my question."
Then before I can say another word at all, his lips are kissing mine.