He pushed the apartment door open, locking it behind us. I was essentially clinging onto him, kissing him with pride and passion.
He took me to the bar after dinner, and we were both a bit buzzed to say the least.
"Fuck, you're so pretty" he whispered in my ear.
"..Get in bed." I panted, grabbing his thigh.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah.. and get that shirt off.. it's getting in my way."
He excitedly grabbed a cigarette out of his pocket, rushing to the bedroom. I fixed my hair and picked up his lighter off the counter, walking into our room, where Kevin already had his shirt off. I hopped onto the bed, straddling his hips.
"Forgetting something?" I asked, shaking the lighter in front of him. He reached out for it, but I pulled it away, starting it up and leaning in to light the cigarette he had between his teeth.
He took one long drag, exhaling slowly, setting the cigarette back in his mouth.
I let my hand run up and down his bare chest, watching him breathe heavily.
"Are you sure you're feeling-"
"Oh my god, will you just shut your pretty little mouth?"
He let out a giggle, nodding.
"Good."
I took the slim cigarette from his mouth, putting it in my own, taking one deep breath, before putting it back between his teeth, moving my lips down to his neck.
His hand met my hips, rubbing them in circles.
He gasped slightly, throwing his head back as I left the first love bite.
"Fuck, you're good at this.." he chuckled, puffing out a cloud of smoke.
"I know. That's why tonight's gonna be all for you..." i whispered, nipping at his ear.
"Yeah..?"
"Oh yeah."
I left around three hickeys on his neck and collarbone, before I finally gave into both of our needs, unbuckling his belt.
-
-
-
I woke up by his side, clutching his chest, a cigarette on the ashtray by the bed. Kevin was sound asleep, his head turned to the side. I watched his chest rise and fall as he would breathe.
I gently drummed my fingers on his pale chest, staring up at his soft lips. He took a deep breath in, letting out a heavy sigh as he opened his eyes.
"Good morning.." I whispered
"Mmm, good morning, Gorgeous."
"So.. last night...."
"Pure. Fucking. Ecstasy."
"Just what I like to hear."
He took another cigarette from the carton, pulling his arm around me as he lit the cigarette, kissing my temple.
"You sure are smoking a lot lately.."
"I know, it just.. makes me feel so good"
"Yeah..."
"Want some breakfast?"
"So badly."
"Alright. get some clothes on. I'm taking you out."
"Again?"
"Yes, again. Come on, put some clothes on. This prettyboy deserves some pancakes." He chuckled, pointing at me.
"I'll pay?" I suggested, slipping on a thin white shirt.
"I'll pay."
"You paid last night. How about we split the bill?"
"Fine."
He stood up, stretching for a long while, giving me the opportunity to slip my arms around him, pressing my head to his side.
He chuckled, patting my back.
"What's this for..?"
"I love you. And... it was really nice to spend some.. time with you...."
"I had an amazing time last night... and I love you too. I'm lucky to have such a beautiful... smart.. kind. Thoughtful. Amazing boyfriend..." he smirked, wrapping one arm around my shoulders. I kissed his bare shoulder.
"You're sweet.."
"You're amazing... Come on, you need to get dressed." He chuckled, kissing the top of my head, the cigarette between his fingers.
"Okay okay. One more kiss good morning?"
"One more kiss good morning." He agreed, kissing me softly as he held my hips.
"Was that good?"
"That was good." I nodded
"Good. Now get dressed." He smiled, gently patting the back of my thigh
He balanced the lit cigarette between his teeth as he pulled on some jeans and shoes. He buttoned up yesterday's shirt, throwing a hoodie on.
I finished dressing and led him out the door to the car, from which he drove us to the diner.
Still surfing on the wave of bliss he was riding last night, Kevin couldn't wipe the smile off his face. It felt good to know I could make him that happy. To know I could make him feel that good.
"Kevin..?"
"Yes, Love?"
"..Do I make you happy?"
"Of course, you do. You make me the happiest man alive. I wouldn't trade a life with you for anything in the world."
"...Really..?"
"Yes, really! You're my boy!"
I giggled, taking a bite of my breakfast as he rambled on about me.
"I swear, will you ever understand how much you mean to me? You're-You're kind, you treat me well, you're smart as fuck, you're funny, you're beautiful, and you inspire me to be a better man.. you're my everything!"
"...is it even possible for you to be a better man than you are?"
"It's always possible to improve."
"Do you not like the man you are?"
"I like who I am. But the thing is, it's possible to love yourself while trying to improve yourself. In fact, I feel that in self love, improving yourself plays a large part.."
"Should I improve myself?"
"If you want to. I think you're absolutely perfect. But improving is never a bad thing. Although, there's not much to improve.." he smirked, setting his hand atop mine.
"I'm gonna do it... I'm gonna improve myself...."
"How so?"
"I'm not gonna be so impulsive. I'm not gonna be so negative about myself. I'm gonna like who I am... it's gonna take a while, but.. i'm gonna do it."
"I'm proud of you.. see, this is how you inspire me. You never give up. You always win in the end. You're strong. That's one of my favorite things about you."
"...What are your other favorite things..?"
"Other than your resiliency.. I love your beauty. Internal and external. And I love your voice. I love that it's the first thing I hear in the morning... and the last thing I hear before i fall asleep. I love your eyes... they're like the waters of Egremnoi. I like your lips. I like how pink and full they are... and I like the taste of them. Fuck, I love every little thing about you.." he shook his head, blushing softly at the thought of me, covering his face.
"You're so sweet..."
"You're sweet. I love you more than anything.."
"I know.." I smiled, trying to push my hair aside out of habit "I love you too."
He smirked, finishing off his breakfast, and beginning to pick at my food as well.
"Hey, back off!" I giggled, pulling my plate away
"I'm hungry!"
"Me too!"
"Come on, at least let me get a strawberry.."
I stabbed one with my fork, lifting it and bringing it up to Kevin's lips. He giggled, taking the strawberry from me.
"Good?"
"Good.." he nodded.
"Want another?"
"Yes please.."
I scooped up another strawberry, bringing the fork to his mouth, watching him the eat another.
"One more..?" he requested, tilting his head to the left.
"I'm not gonna have any food left!"
"Come on, one more!"
"...fine. I can't say no to you." I chuckled, feeding my boyfriend one last strawberry.
"Thank you!" He smiled
"Of course.."
Our smiling was interrupted by someone walking past, muttering.
"Fucking disgusting."
"...excuse me?" I asked, standing up to confront him, before Kevin gently pulled me down.
"Hey... don't listen to him. Just look at me. Okay? Just look at me.."
I looked up at him, our eyes locking.
"I love you.. do you love me?"
"You know I do.."
"Good. We love each other. And that's all that matters. Not what he thinks. We had an amazing night last night. Let's let that happiness last. Okay?"
"Okay.."
"Good. I love you."
"And I love you too.."
He leaned over the table to give me a quick kiss, grabbing another strawberry off my plate and popping it in his mouth.
"You tricked me!" I gasped
"It wasn't my intention. I saw the chance and I took it." He smirked
"You're a dick." I giggled
"Is that why you like me?"
"...I hate you" I snickered
"You fuckin' love me" he insisted
"I do."
I finished my breakfast and paid my half of the bill, Kevin insisting on paying the other half.
"Are you ready to go?" He asked, putting his wallet back in his pocket.
"Yeah. You?"
"Ready." He smiled, taking my hand and walking me out of the restaurant.
As soon as I exited, the cold breeze hit me. I immediately shivered, cuddling up to Kevin as we walked.
"It's cold out..." I sighed.
"Here, take my sweater.."
He took off his hoodie, the wind now flowing through his thin shirt.
"Thank you..." I smiled, pulling his warm hoodie over my head.
"Of course.." he smiled, trying to mask his shivering.
"Oh no, take your sweater back.."
"No. You just got out of the hospital. I can stand a walk in the cold."
I pulled him close to my side, holding him tightly to help warm him up.
"You look so cute in my sweater.." he smiled, pushing his stomach to my side.
"I do?"
"So cute."
"Thank you.. it's still a bit big on me."
"That's what makes it so damn cute."
I smiled, the sleeves more than halfway over my hand, the sweater huge on me, due to our large gap in size.
We reached the car, Kevin opening the door for me.
"......I want to learn how to drive."
"..yeah?"
"Yeah. I want to learn. Teach me how to drive."
"Okay... i'll bring you out to a back road so you don't hit anyone.." he chuckled, getting into the car.
"You'll teach me!?!?"
"Yeah! It's about time you learned how to drive."
"It really is."
He took me out to a back road, hopping out of the car.
"Is this where you kill me?" I joked, opening my door.
"Oh, yes. This is where I choke you out and throw you in the back of the truck." He chuckled, helping me out of the car.
"What a hot way to die"
"I don't think it's hot when you die.."
"It is if you're being choked. What a way to go."
"...you're fucked up"
"Incredibly. Come on, teach me how to work this thing."
He told me how to operate the car and let me have at it.
"Okay, slow down"
"I'm hitting the break, but it's not working!"
"That's the gas!"
"There's gas?"
"You're pressing on the gas, Connor!"
I took my foot off the pedal, burying my head in my hands
"Aggggg! This is so hard!"
"Just take a breath. Try again."
"Okay.."
"Just... don't step on the pedal so hard this time."
He held onto my shoulder, trying to calm me.
I took a deep breath and began driving again, this time, not as scared. Still scared. But not as scared.
"You're doing a great job. Now make a turn."
"What if I crash?"
"You won't. Come on, just turn slowly. You can do it.."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
I took a deep deep breath and began turning, Kevin encouraging me the whole time.
"....You did it!" He shouted.
I stopped the second I completed the turn, my eyes wide.
"...I did it!"
"You did it! I knew you could do it!"
"That was so scary!"
"But you did it!"
I giggled in shock, popping over to give him a quick kiss, before attempting to drive once again. I managed to get us home without crashing into anything.
We settled in and began planning our day.
"Do you have to go to work today?" I whined
"I do.. I'm sorry. You'll be fine. I'll be home in a few hours..." he sighed, as I ran my hand through his hair.
I let out a heavy sigh, frowning.
"Come on, darling, don't be so pouty. I'll be home in no time."
I nodded, trying to pull my hand from his hair, accidentally getting caught in one of the tangles, inadvertently pulling his hair.
"Oh!" He grunted, immediately crossing his legs and leaning over.
"Sorry, I-.....wait....Kevin!" I shouted laughing.
"It's not my fault!"
"Kev!" I giggled
"Okay I'm gonna go now." He rushed out, slamming the door behind him, leaving me to laugh at him.
I was fine by myself for about an hour, until I began missing him again, texting him endlessly.
'When are you coming home? I miss you'
He didn't reply.
I texted him another time.
'I gave you a boner, don't ignore me."
It was only minutes before he texted me back this time.
'I'll be home in two hours. I miss you too. Don't talk about my boners. Love you.' He signed with a smiley face.
Not wanting to wait any longer, I grabbed one of Kevin's old jackets from when we first met, throwing it on and heading out the door, in the direction of the library. It took fifteen minutes to get there, walking so leisurely, but I finally arrived.
Walking through the doors, I hopped up on his desk, spinning around to face him, my legs hanging off the desk.
"Why hello there, Mr. Librarian.." I smirked, tilting my head to the left.
"Hello..." he smiled, shutting the book he store was reading while waiting for someone to come and check out a book
"Whatcha reading?"
"Who cares? You're here!"he grinned, giving me a quick kiss, his hand on my thigh.
"I'm here!" I repeated after him, giggling.
"I'm so glad you came. I missed you!!"
"I missed you too! God, I hate being home without you."
"I hate being here without you! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my job, but I'm miserable without ya.."
"Me too... when does that hottie take over?"
"You mean me?"
"No, Tom. The one with the black hair and glasses."
"That hottie? What about me?"
"You're obviously hotter! You're the hottest boy in the world. But he's cute, I'm not gonna pretend he's not!"
"...at least you're honest." He chuckled
"Oh come on, you've gotta admit, he's attractive!"
"I guess.."
"You've never found him especially attractive?"
"Not really"
"You have no taste, Price."
"I have taste! I just happen to only have a taste for you.."
"How sweet."
"....how about I call in early? We can get home.. you can see Tom walk in" he chuckled
"No, No, you need to work."
"That's true. Because I very much want to buy you some flowers."
"Do you, now?"
"I do."
"What kind?"
"Roses. Duh. Do you think I'd try to buy Connor McKinley anything but a bouquet of roses?"
"Oh, how silly of me" I chuckled, chewing the inside of my mouth.
"...I'm gonna marry you, you know." He said, looking up at me.
"It's not legal, asshole."
"Not yet. I will, though. I'm gonna marry you one day. You'll see. I will."
"Will you, now?"
"I will."
"...Okay." I smiled
"I promise you, I will..."
"Swear?" I asked, crawling into his lap.
"I swear." He smirked, setting his hands on my hips.
"You know, I-"
He was cut off by the door opening. I swung my head around, scared he was going to get in trouble with his boss, but it was only Tom.
"Oh, uhhhhh hi, Tom. I wasn't expecting you for another hour." Kevin muttered, his face red from embarrassment
Tom just laughed, staring at me on my boyfriend's lap
"You work a three hour shift today, remember? You got the rest off to take care of Connor."
"That's right! Oh, I'm sorry!"
"I see he's feeling better..?"
"Yeah, he's a firecracker, this one." Kevin chuckled, ruffling my hair.
"Well, I'll go grab my stuff.." kevin smiled, picking me up off his lap, and heading up the stairs.
I walked over to Tom, shaking his hand.
"I'm uh... I'm Connor.."
"I know. Uh, sorry that sounded rude, I just.... Kevin talks about you a lot."
"He does....?"
"All the time. We've come to grow pretty fond of you over here..."
"Oh..."
"He never stops talking about you. It's sweet."
"Aw.... he's such a sweetheart..."
"He really is."
Kevin walked down the stairs, carrying a few papers and books.
"who is?"
"You." I smiled, turning to him.
"Awh...are you ready to go, Sunshine?"
"Yeah, I'm ready."
"Alright." He gave me a quick kiss, taking my hand and heading toward the door
"You guys are so sweet.." Tom mumbled, shaking his head.
"Thank you.. have a good shift, Man.."
"Thanks, I will. Take care. Feel better, Connor."
"I am, thank you!"
Kevin walked me out, holding me close to him. He left a kiss on my shoulder as rain began drizzling. he took me to the car, opening my door for me.
"What do you wanna do when we get home?" I yawned.
"Wanna watch some tv? I found some some Twin Peaks dvds at the library. Brought them home."
"Oh my gosh, please."
"Perfect."
He got us home safely, despite the now pouring rain, holding his jacket up over me so I didn't get soaked.
He popped the dvd in and flopped down on the couch, the familiar theme playing.
"You look so sleepy..." Kevin giggled, taking a cigarette from his pocket and offering it to me.
"No thank you."
He nodded and lit it for himself, balancing it between his teeth. I set my head down on his lap, watching the movie while he gently ran his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp.
"That feels nice..." I mumbled, shutting my eyes and coughing quietly
"Are you getting sick..?"
"No. I feel great.."
"Okay. Good.."
He lifted my hand, bringing it to his soft, full lips, kissing it gently.
"You are so stunning..." he whispered
"Am not.." I yawned.
"Oh, please... you're the prettiest boy in the whole world." He grinned, rubbing my stomach
"Yeah, right..."
"I'm serious, baby... you've got this flawless skin... and such striking eyes that build such a nice contrast. And you have those beautiful freckles that look like constellations. And your lips. They're so pink... and your hair. It's so gorgeous. And don't even get me started on your shoulders. Or your legs. Or your hands. Or your chest. Or your laugh. And your voice... god, I could die."
"You're bluffing..." I blushed
"But I'm not.." he smiled, caressing my cheek.
"you're so nice to me..." i mumbled, tucking my head in the crease between his stomach and legs as he sat, struggling to keep myself awake.
He pulled a blanket over me, noticing how sleepy I was getting, his voice quieting, until it was hushed to a whisper.
"Because I love you. You're my darling boy..."
"You're mine.."
"Do you mean that as in I'm your darling boy, or I'm all yours?"
"Both.. and I'm lucky to get you all to myself... i'm surprised someone else didn't get to you first.." I slurred, exhausted
"Well, nobody really knew I was gay aside from boys I had intentions with.. I wasn't super proud of who I was until I met you... I was proud to be with you. Proud to be with such a remarkable man. I love to show you off. I want everyone to see that you're all for me.." he smirked, his fingers tickling my stomach for a brief second.
I giggled tiredly, nuzzling my head into his stomach as he held my face, his pinkie tucked under my jaw, the rest of his fingers on my cheek.
"You're so fucking gorgeous..." he muttered.
Too tired to respond properly, i grunted in protest, opening my eyes so I could look at him.
"Yes, you are. You're absolutely stunning."
Giggling in embarrassment, I shut my eyes again, shoving my face back into his stomach.
"Come on, Darling, I wanna see your pretty face..."
I slowly let my face show, holding his hand to my chest. He looked me over with great admiration, a wide smile on his face.
"Good lord, I have the most handsome man alive.."
"I'm not handsome.." I mumbled, my sleepiness causing me to slur a bit as he rubbed my chest up and down.
"Yes you are.."
"No..." I yawned once more, before promptly falling asleep in his lap.
I woke up, coughing so violently I thought I was going to hack up a lung.
It woke Kevin as well, who looked greatly concerned.
"Oh no, Connor, you're sick..."
"No I'm- .....not." I had to stop midway through my sentence, coughing again."
"Oh gosh, Honey, let's get you into bed."
"No, I feel great. I-I could lift a car..."
"Con, you're obviously sick. Let's get you into bed.." he sighed, helping me up, walking me to our bedroom.
"I'm cold.."
"I'll get you a blanket.."
"Thank you...." I said, sitting down on the bed.
He returned with a large blanket, draping it over me.
"You're welcome, Sicky."
"I'm not sick. It's just allergies.."
He set his hand on my forehead, checking my temperature.
"Allergies don't give you a fever, Honey."
"I don't have a fever"
"You're burning up.."
"I'm fine..."
"Baby, you're sick.."
"I'm not sick!" I huffed, coughing loudly.
"Connor... alright, just lay down. You need to rest. I'll get you some water."
"I don't want water.."
"What do you want?"
"I want to go back to sleep.."
"Then take another nap. I'll be here when you wake up.."
"Okay...."
"Come on, get some rest. You're sick."
"Goodnight..." i sighed
"Sleep tight.."
He put his arm around me, letting me use his chest as a pillow while I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up to Kevin snoring, his arms locked around me, his head buried in my neck. It took all I had and more not to cough incredibly loudly, but I managed to keep my coughing quiet, so I wouldn't wake him. He looked so adorable when he slept. I wonder what he's dreaming about. It's clear he's dreaming about something. His eyelids squinting for seconds at a time, his eyes moving under the lids. His deep voice echoing a small grunt or hum every now and again.
My coughing woke him as I pondered on what he was indeed dreaming of, his eyes opening slowly.
"Mmn, hello, Gorgeous.." he mumbled, running a hand through my hair
"...who, me?"
"Yes you, silly!"
"Hi..."
"How are you feeling?"
"Not good."
"Awh, I'm sorry. I was hoping you'd feel better after you slept.."
"I feel worse.."
"I'm so sorry..."
"Whatever... what did you dream about?"
"Oh, nothing.. "
"What was it?"
"It's nothing... I dreamt about you.."
"...what happened? In the dream..?"
"You were taking me on a walk.. down through that path in the woods we love so much.. and I-I fell and hurt my leg.. so you, with your tiny noodle arms, picked me up and carried me the rest of the way."
"Why didn't I bring you to the car?"
"I don't know, it was a dream!"
I giggled, my laugh escalating to a cough.
"Here, let me get you some cough drops."
"No, stay here... I wanna talk."
"Okay.. about what?"
"I-I never told you the whole story..."
"Whole story of what, dear?"
"When I ran away.."
"Then tell me the whole story. You can tell me anything..."
"I-I just feel so bad" i whined, my voice hoarse from holding in my cough.
"About what..?"
"...I ran away the day of his funeral."
"Who's funeral? Your grandfather's...?"
"My grandfather's. I didn't go to his funeral. It's why I ran away..."
"Why didn't you go..?"
"I couldn't handle it!" It hurt to try to shout, my voice straining.
"Hey, it's okay... you couldn't handle it. That's okay.."
"I felt so selfish, though I just- why wasn't I able to handle it!?"
"You loved him, Connor. He was one of the few people to show you compassion and love. It's hard to see him go. It can be downright unbearable. It's gonna be hard to accept someone like that dying. You weren't ready. It was too soon for you. That's okay. You can always visit his grave... and if that's too much for you to do alone.... I'll be right there with you. Okay?"
"Okay..."
"You're a strong boy, Connor. There are just some things that are more difficult than others. And you can't beat yourself up over it.."
"....can we visit him? tomorrow?"
"Of course, we can.."
"Thank you." I sighed, my voice like gravel.
"... I'm getting you some cough drops."
"...thank you."
He got out of bed, putting on a kettle and grabbing a bag of cough drops from the closet.
He returned, tossing the bag to me as I coughed. I opened the bag, sliding a cough drop onto my tongue, gagging slightly at the taste.
"Not good?"
"No.."
"Sorry. They're all we have."
"It's okay... whatever it takes to stop coughing. My chest hurt-" again cut off by coughs, Kevin walked over to me, frowning, setting his hand on my back as I hacked.
"Awh, Sweetheart....."
"I'm... fine.."
"If this continues, I'm taking you to the doctor.."
"I'm sure it's just a cold.."
"We don't know. Your immune system is horribly compromised. It has been since you were out there all night.. It could just be a cold. It most likely is. But I'm not taking any chances, okay?"
"Okay.."
The kettle began whistling, forcing Kevin up to the kitchen, to finish making tea.
He handed me a large mug, with steam rising from it.
"I made you some tea with lemon and honey. Drink up. It'll help your throat."
"Okay..."
"So, we'll visit your grandfather tomorrow. I really think it'll bring you some comfort. Some peace of mind."
"Yeah. I think so too... i miss him.."
"I know you do..." he frowned, pulling me in for a hug
"No, you're gonna get sick too.."
"I have a strong immune system. I'll be fine. Come here."
He pulled me into a tight hug, kissing the side of my head.
"I want him back.." I sighed
"I'm here for you. I'm always gonna be here for you."
"What if something happens to you to? What if I lose the only good thing in my life?"
"Hey, you won't.. I'm here to stay.. nothing's happening to me."
"...you promise?"
"I promise. And I keep my promises." He smiled softly, letting go of me.
"Like the promise that you'll marry me one day?"
"I intend to fulfill that promise. One day."
"Good. Cause there's nothing in the world I want more than to marry you."
"And I, you. Believe me, that's been my dream since I met you."
"...why? I was such a dork when I met you."
"You're still a dork. But you're a dreamy dork."
"Am not.." i chuckled, coughing quietly.
"Are too! You're so handsome... and I love my dorky boyfriend."
"Put that on a t-shirt." I joked
"I should. I can wear it on our next date at the planetarium."
"We can go again?"
"Of course. I'm not gonna deprive you of the planetarium."
"Yay!"
He giggled, toying with my hair.
"How's the tea? Are you feeling better?"
"Yeah.. i feel better."
"Good. You poor thing."
"It's not a big deal. I'm just a little sick."
"A little sick can be a big deal when you've had hypothermia."
"I guess.. can we watch a movie?"
"Only if you promise not to fall asleep this time."
"Mmm, no promises. I'm sleepy already."
"Alright, well, lay back, watch a movie and relax. What do you wanna watch?"
"Wayne's World."
"Really?"
"Mmhm."
"Alright, sleepyhead. Wayne's World it is."
He got out of bed to pop a dvd into the dvd player, hopping back into bed, throwing the covers over the two of us.
I was exhausted, but fought the drowsiness for a long while, forcing my eyes open
Halfway through the movie, i succumbed to the exhaustion, weakly asking Kevin
"..can I go back to sleep....?"
"Yes, of course, you don't have to ask, just get some rest, Con."
"Thank you.." i mumbled, pressing my face to his chest.
He ran his fingers through my hair, slowly and softly tugging and twisting, rubbing my side till I fell asleep, and most likely continuing long after, for his own pleasure and serenity.