Why? (A glee fanfiction) {Faberritana} [Complete]

Chapter 50:Cuts and Insecurities part 1

-Rachel pov-
Three days and it's been amazing to slip back to being little! We got so caught up with sectionals and other stuff we didn't let ourselves relax. Now it's Thursday and it's been an amazing day!

"Rachel can we talk?" I'm take out of my thoughts by Lucy "It's important"

"Yeah sit down" Lucy smiles and sits down beside me at the table "You never usually come to the library until free period"

"NYADA is a joke!" I raise a eyebrow at her confused and hoping I miss heard that "NYADA doesn't actually produce Broadways stars...it produces Broadway stage hands and star helpers...I've been looking into it"

"Let me see the proof" Lucy bends over to get into her bag and stops "Are you ok?"

"Uhh yeah" I look at Lucy concerned as she stands up "I forgot...it's uhhhh in my locker! I'll go get it!"

Lucy quickly runs out of the library. I gather my stuff and follow after her. As I start running I bump into Santana.

"Hey watch out Rach" I look around for Lucy and Santana focus my attention on her "What's wrong?"

"Lucy was going to show me proof about NYADA, bent over to get it, and then ran away" Santana grabs my hand and takes off "Whoa! Where are we going?!"

"The bathroom"

-Lucy pov-
I finally reach the farthest open bathroom and run in. I run to the last stall and bend over the toilet. I try to gag myself but it's not working. So I start thinking of things Russel said to me years ago.

No one will like a useless fat wife!
No one will ever get with you if you look like a fat pig!
Put down the junk food! Other people are tired of sharing with you!

"Lucy Quinn Fabray!" I jump and turn to see Santana holding a crying Rachel's hands "Get that hand out of your mouth right this second!"

"No" I turn back to the toilet and shove my hand back in. I only get to for a second before Santana is pulling me back and holding my hands away "Let me go! I need to lose this weight!"

"WHAT FUCKING WEIGHT?!" I look at Santana who's very visibly angry "You are small as all hell! You just finally have a stomach for once!"

"No one can love a fat slob Santana!" I fight against Santana but soon my legs are weighed down too "What's on my legs?"

"Someone who actually has more weight then you" Santana gets off and I sit up to look at Rachel "You still love me don't you?"

"Well of course I do!" I look at my hands instead of her "I just don't wanna be not attractive to you three"

"Why would you think you aren't attractive?" I keep looking at my hands and Santana doesn't answer either "What's going on?"

"Rachel" Santana sighs before continuing on "Whenever we've been with someone they've always wanted one thing...we got used to it"

"But when we got with you we all agreed not to push it" I sigh and look at Rachel "We want your first time with all of us to be special! But the longer it goes the more it seems you don't find us attractive"

"We all agreed to eat right and stop the bathroom binges" Santana glares at me and I look away "We had been secretly doing them every now and then"

"I think you two look absolutely beautiful fat or skinny" Rachel stands up and holds out a hand for both of us "But you know we have to talk about this right?"

"Ah come on!" Santana fake pouts at Rachel "I ana o ay!"

"You can play after we talk to Emma" Santana really pouts as we let Rachel help us up "Now let's go to the office"