I Am Only One {Mature Vampire Romance}

Book 3|50. You're a Bastard

I thought about it. How would I feel if this were happening to Talia? Would I condemn her? No, even if the worst were true and her actions had contributed to the death of her child, I would never condemn her. I would recognize her heartbreak. I would love her and only wish she would forgive herself.

Still, it wasn't just that easy.

Marku's jaw worked, revealing his tension, but his eyes were soft. "What are your plans for the little one's body?"

Another sob slipped out of my mouth. "What are my choices?"

"The local crematory, but there will not be much ash left because he is so small. Or the traditional route of a coffin."

I sniffed and rubbed the tears from my eyes. "Do they make coffins that small?"

"If that is the route you wish to take, I will have something custom made. Do you trust me?"

I lifted my eyes to his. There was so much more in his question. I hesitated and then nodded. I did trust him in this. He pulled out his phone and sent a text. Placing his phone back in his pocket, he murmured, "They will be here in less than twenty minutes."

I didn't respond. Instead, I just stared at the perfectly formed body of my lost child. No one spoke while we waited. Marku continued to run his fingers through my hair and rubbed small circles on my hand with his thumb.

Fifteen minutes later, two men in black suits arrived at the door. Talon let them in. They made their way over to the bed and stood behind Marku.

Marku squeezed my fingers, his voice tight, "It's time."

I nodded and lifted my heavy head from the bed. I kissed my fingers and placed them lightly on my baby's tiny skull, leaning in to whisper, "Goodbye, baby. Mommy loves you."

Marku waited another long moment, making sure I had said everything I wanted to say. Finally, he motioned to the gentlemen. With extreme care, one of the men leaned over Marku's kneeling body and collected my little one, along with the towel I had made into a nest. The other gentleman held open a plastic container. It looked like a small cooler. Once my baby was settled inside, he sealed the top shut. Marku stood to his feet slowly. He faced the men. "I will send you specific details in a few hours."

"Of course, my lord." They both bowed low and then backed out of the room.

Marku gathered me into his arms without another word, and walked into the bathroom. He turned on the water and proceeded to remove my sleep shirt and his clothes. Once we were both naked, he gently guided me into the water, and dropped to his knees in front of me.

I trembled as the water cascaded down my back, and placed my hands on his strong shoulders to steady myself. He gathered soap into his palms and methodically cleaned all of the dried blood off of my legs, starting from my ankles all of the way up to the apex between my thighs. My words floated in the steam-filled shower. "Marku, we need to talk."

He stopped his ministrations against my flesh and pressed his forehead to my belly. His hands gripped my hips. He spoke without looking at me, "You're asking me to just let you go?"

"Yes," I whispered.

Silence.

A low moan. "I don't know if I am capable of that."

I wiped the fresh tears from my cheeks. "I know."

"It's what you were afraid of the first time."

"Yes."

He stood to his feet, towering over me. His pupils were dark and stormy. My hands were flat against his chest. I whispered, "I told you not to care for me. Did you listen?"

"I heard your words," his gruff response was noncommittal. "I also told you I wasn't capable of such notions as love or compassion."

"If you care for me just a little, then please let me go. I can't give you my heart. Believe it or not, if things had been different..."

"Different?"

I sighed heavily, surprised at the truth of my next words. "I never thought I would say this but I don't regret it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Regret what?"

"Regret meeting you. I still think you are abhorrently evil—" he snorted and rolled his eyes, "—but I don't think that is everything you are." I explained softly.

He turned me around and washed my hair. More silence filled the air. When he finished, he sat on the small bench in the shower. I stood between his legs. His voice was low and deep. "You fit in my arms."

"Your arms are too much for just one woman. You know I speak the truth. Even if Cage were gone, eventually, you would seek companionship from more than just me. I'm not like that. Whatever we might have had, whatever we might have been, wouldn't have eventually worked."

He didn't deny my words.

I stared down at him. "You're a bastard. But there is more to you than that. Why do you show that version of yourself only to me?"

"That version only exists because of you."

"That cannot be true. Did you love Adorna...at any point?"

He shook his head.

"Then why did you take her as your mate?"

"I needed an heir."

"You sound like Armand."

Irritation filled his expression. "I am nothing like Armand."

I looked up toward the ceiling of the shower. "You are very much like him. So, is that why you no longer show her attention...because she couldn't produce an heir?"

"She did produce an heir," he replied simply.

"What?!" I breathed. His response shocked me. "You have a child?!"

He nodded. "More than one."

I stared wide-eyed. "Is that common knowledge?"

"No." His expression was hard. "I must be careful with my family members, just like Armand must be with you."

"Who knows about your children?"

"Adorna, me...and now, you. Not even the children are aware of their true lineage."

My mouth hung open. "Your children do not even know you are their father?"

His lips were tight. "No, it would be far too dangerous for them. They were taken from Adorna at birth and given to be raised by another. Their royal marks have been masked for now. One, a son, died at two days old."

"Oh," I whispered. "What happened?"

He shook his head. "It is unknown. Like I said, not every vampire pregnancy survives."

"I will keep your secret," I vowed quietly.

"I know," he replied, looking past me at some unknown point on the wall.

I was close to getting through to him. I could feel it and whispered, "Let it be your choice this time."

He turned his troubled gaze to meet mine. "If I say no, would you stay?"

"Don't make me say it...you know the answer. But I can be an ally. It's not saying much right now, it's not like I have much of a kingdom...but you have my friendship, my loyalty."

Resignation came over his features.

He sighed heavily, "If that is your wish, then I will let you go."

.

So, I know its kinda choppy. I've had the flu all week and the cold medicine has me waaaay mellow. lol. I'll edit it later once I'm not feeling like a happy little jellyfish.

ps...Happy Thanksgiving!

pss...be safe, you Black Friday shoppers!