Music: 'Day is Gone' by Noah Gunderen & The Forest Rangers (heart wrenching song of Felaern's loss)

Chapter dedicated to Lexie17.  You are completely awesome for giving the Vote button a proper smackdown!  lol.

Chapter 95 – Today Was the Day – Felaern's POV

I was not a tolerant man.

Maybe I had been...a very long time ago. But shit happened.

I had been struck down, reduced to just a fraction of the man I had been prior, by a loss so deep, that even now, I felt a familiar prick of pain radiate through my body. I hated that pain – that reminder of my foolishness and pride – because no one was to blame for my sorrow...But me.

Fee...the only love of my life.

She was gone; forever lost to me.

And I had been the bastard who demanded she leave. I was insulted by her ridiculous accusation – it simply wasn't true– of course, I would never, could never want another woman, other than her.

And in that moment as our fate hung in the balance, and Fee trembled slightly, desperately trying to mask her hurt; I had a choice.

I could have comforted her, allayed her fear and insecurities with softly spoken words and gentle touches. I could have shown her with my mind and my body how much I adored only her.

But I had been a fool.

Instead, I flew into a fit of anger, my pride wounded that she would even question me. And the more I dug in my heels, the more I responded with sarcasm and fury; the more Fee believed that wretched woman's lies.

I loved Fee for her stubbornness and strong will, but it was a volatile combination when mixed with my own. Neither of us backed down and the battle-of-wills escalated. Until finally, I had had enough of the nonsense; and told her to leave until she could see me as I truly was and not some made up version that a harlot presented to her.

Her eyes had changed in that moment. The life went out of them. Looking back, I wondered how I had not recognized what she was thinking in the devastation of her expression, because it was so clear to me now. She believed that my response – my unbridled fury and the distinct absence of any sentiment of my love, combined with my order to leave – was confirmation that I had taken another woman to my bed. And worse, she believed my words and betrayal was also confirmation of my true feelings toward her – in such a small, fleeting space of time, I had convinced her that I did not truly love or even want her. I shuddered hard. It didn't matter how many centuries went by, I would always be haunted by that dead look in her eyes; knowing I had caused it.

She never spoke another word. She didn't even bother to gather one item to take with her. Instead, her hand moved in an ancient flourish as she penetrated the air. Tearing through the fabric of space, a portal appeared; a shimmering, suspended moment; a doorway awaiting her command. With a lone glance back at me, a single tear breached her eyelashes and rolled down her cheek, as she stepped through.

And then she was gone.


For a moment, satisfaction wound through me that I had made my point. But the moment had been fleeting; so short in fact, that it ended almost immediately and regret washed over me, fierce and strong. In the next breath, I desperately wished I could take back the words, and I swore that as soon as Fee returned, I would drop to my knees and beg her forgiveness.

But she never returned.

I paced the entire night...waiting, confident that once she cooled off, she would come back and we would talk it through. But as the hours – and then the days, months and years – ticked by, I realized I had grossly underestimated her determination to give me exactly what I demanded. I had told her not to return until she saw me as I really was. And now, I suspected she felt my true character and lack of affection for her, was made abundantly clear, giving her no reason to return.

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