He's Just a Skater Boy (boyxboyxboy)

Chapter 144: The Seal of Fate

He was speaking too fast, the energy between us crackling, I didn't have time to think. "I don't know how to fucking talk to you guys..."

There was a moment of silence.

Atlas groaned and put his hands on his head, threading his fingers through his hair. Jacob instead opted for watching me with his staple cold blue eyes, perfectly still.

"Admit it," I glared at him, annoyed by the gaze that added to the unnerving feeling bubbling in my stomach. "Neither of you want to know what this is, what's going on between us, you don't wanna draw the lines-"

"Either." Jacob cut in, his eyes narrowing in an instant. "You've never wanted to draw those lines either."

"I wanted to know what you guys... want from me..." I exhaled.

"You know what I want from you?" Atlas snapped back suggestively at me.

I punched his leg and he yelped and stumbled back.

"Bitch you-"

"I obviously don't!" I hissed at him. "You know there's more to... there's more you can do other than..."

"Kissing?" He looked confused. "Yeah I know."

Jacob tilted his head slightly. "He's asking if this relationship is defined as dating or..."

"Fuck buddies." I gritted out the stupid words, more than that they felt humiliating, accompanied by the low throb of discomfort.

Atlas narrowed his eyes slowly, throughout the moment of silence that followed, leaving slits to look out of. "You saying you think we're just that?"

"What?" The vehemence in his voice causing me to blink out of surprise. "What is it then?"

"I don't know, but not that. There are rules. You know the bloody rules." He answered stubbornly.

"What fucking rules, that we can't get with other people or get random girls pregnant?" I glanced at Jacob who raised a brow.

"Yes!"

"Exclusive doesn't mean dating, just means you want less of a chance of contracting fucking gonorrhoea!"

"What's the difference, what's the point in the distinction?"

"I never said we-" I tried to speak fast, my heart thumping. 

"It's all the same anyway." Atlas spoke over me.

Did I sound desperate? I didn't even know what I wanted, how could I be desperate? But then why did I feel desperate, needing to know for sure that this wasn't all completely one sided. 

When we walked together and I felt that feeling of gentle bliss, when I laid down next to them and was immediately swept into a deep sleep I never experienced otherwise, when I woke up and paused in the early morning to look at them and had that tickle in my chest that felt good. Was that all just me?

My breathing felt fast, I wanted to get up and run but I didn't want them to stop me, if they did I knew my mind would switch gears.

"Do we really need to call it that?" Atlas looked confused, glancing at Jacob. "I mean I thought I made it pretty clear you guys belong to me. What's the difference?"

He said it so casually I couldn't keep up with the rush of blood to my face, a very awkward warmth blossoming in my chest, not the heated kind, a genuine, fluffy kind of warmth, that reached up tickled my heart somehow. 

I tried not to show anything on my face, although my ears and neck were burning, but it didn't matter, because both of their attention was occupied, first and foremost by Jacob's look of genuine surprise.