Not A Simple Engineer Boy!

Behind The Dialogues

A big thank you to everyone who read this long story, (the journey of Xavier to finally attain peace. hehe.) that wasn't a lot long. I mean, I haven't completed it with proper editing but I guess the word count lies between 120K to 150K, which is the usual word count for any proper novel.

Like 'A Loan of Five Rupees' I do have interesting things to share about this story. So, let's start-

Story-

In 2016: Well, this story in 2016 was intended to be about Xavier and Subhadra, mostly about Xavier's journey from his teenage to becoming an adult. I did have the plot of his extreme PTSD episodes and a dark zone of attempting suicide and stuff. The story was about how Subhadra had been his entire support system through his lonely days in NIT and how she had been the sole reason for him to change his perspective on life. Yes, he did have support from Sonali and Mukesh but he never felt a sense of belonging anywhere, especially with his father around him no one dared to provide the best for him.

In 2023: But in 2023, the story shifted to more about how validation from Subhadra became the focal point of Xavier's life. How he started to see his life to be nothing but only about Subhadra. I realized that their love story had become toxic in a sense, as Subhadra believed in mutual love and growth, she wanted to see Xavier succeed in life like she did, and she knew how much of a genius Xavier was, so it was completely unacceptable for her to see Xavier throw everything just for her, seek only her love and validation while ruin himself.

Subhadra had been quite ambitious and her love for Xavier had been on similar terms. She had seen his qualities of learning and executing things, his passion for engineering and automobiles, and his scarred past that even though tainted his life, played a major role in his stubbornness. For her, Xavier was the best engineer in the universe, he made her love engineering, and that in return made her love him.

It is complex to explain why the divorce was necessary, as after a point it all breaks and there is nothing to save. Something similar had happened to her, but that doesn't mean she didn't try to slap Xavier to reality. They got married in Jan 2015 and separated in Apr 2018 (As I had said, I have a freaking timeline for most of the important events.), and their fights started around 2017. So, before that Subhadra did try her best to save their marriage, save Xavier.

Though I had thought that they would come back together after his success. Silly me.

In 2024: Last year around November I got laid off from my job and was quite depressed about what the fuck to do with so much free time. I really have been a workaholic from my teenage days, so sitting quietly and binging series is not my kind of fun in general. I like to paint, a lot, but all my stuff was in some other place, and being the queen of stinginess I didn't buy anything. One day while talking to my father-in-law he said, "You should write stories Suganthi ma like you used to long back. My son has forgotten his passion for poetry, at least you don't do that.", (obviously, the conversation was in Tamil) and that motivated me to write again.

When I started to rewrite in 2024, I realized that Subhadra and Xavier were never getting back. For me, their characters were so adamant that trying to mend them back was absolute foolishness. Maybe it could have been corny, but for some reason I found Subhadra glaring at me whenever I thought- "Xavier deserves one more chance from her." So, I have to delete that thought and bring in new characters.

Initially, I wanted to pair a new character in this story- Satya- with him, but I barfed at myself at that thought. Because, no, that's so fucking stupid. Satya is too fucking bossy for Xavier, friendship and romantic interest are two different topics. Yes, I agree friends can become lovers, but those aren't the kind of friendships where one calls the other 'Idiot' and actually sees them as 'Idiot'. So, nope.