Not A Simple Engineer Boy!

Ninety Six: Confessions (Part 4)

Krithika started crying.

"Darling, what happened?"

She sobbed, hitting his chest with her frail hands as he tried to figure out why the heck she was wailing like a baby.

"You don't like it? Did you expect to celebrate your birthday somewhere else?", he tried to reason, "No problem, tell me where you want to go, we can leave now."

She abruptly stopped crying and glared, "Really?"

His face scrunched in a mix of frown and confusion.

"You give me my best birthday and think that it's not enough? Xavier Lucifer Joseph, you ought to be the stupidest person in the world to think that."

His frown deepened, "But...you are crying."

"Because I don't understand what you see in me to treat me like this...like I am something special!", she huffed, "My friends think that I am just a dark-skinned boring girl, my parents think I am nothing but a weight on the--"

"What?", he cut her ridiculous remarks about herself in mid.

She scowled, "Ugh, Xav...Why do you give me this...this princess treatment?"

"Princess?", he scoffed, "Fuck that shit. You are my Queen."

Stunned by his confession, she stopped scowling as her eyes darted at him.

He held her face in his hand and stared into her teary orbs, "Do you know that when you are happy, your eyes sparkle like the starry midnight sky? They look like that fucking painting by Van Gogh, hypnotizing me like a drug."

"Do you know that when you are working, focussing so hard that...", he touched her forehead, "Here, it has a slight crease, a cute frown, so little, almost invisible to anyone, even yourself, but I see that, I see that you love the work you do, that you want to achieve the best and nothing less."

She blinked rapidly, trying to take every word, trying to not cry.

His thumb traced her lower lip, "Do you know that when you sing for me, my heart does this weird dance with your voice, waltzing through my body, every nerve, and my mind conceding to me how lucky my ears are to hear you."

Holding her dainty hands he chuckled, "Do you even know how much power your hands hold, I can hide in them and would never want to return to this world until you want me to.", kissing her each palm he continued, "Every time I walk it's because your hands have allowed me the freedom which I am not even interested in as I want to be jailed in your wishes."

Shuffling back, she stared into his eyes and saw that they were shining with honesty, "Xavier..."

"Every day and night, I think about how you have changed my life, making me the human I always wanted to be, awakening me from my death that I so dearly had accepted until you came into my life holding so many colors, so much love that I never want to be dead again."

He cupped her chin in his fingers, "I want to live, Krithika, I want to live each second loving you, because that's what I know about myself."

"I love you, Krithika.", he pressed his forehead against hers, "I love you so much that it doesn't hurt me anymore, as I have been hurt enough by my life that loving you is like a balm, every fiber in my body craves it, wants to heal itself to be able to enjoy your beauty, and cherish you forever."

"I know that I am not a perfect man, my past haunts me, and I might not be able to be everything you want in a man.", his eyes glazed with unshed tears, "I am old, I am not the Prince Charming who woos a young rose like you, but I am not a beast, not at all, who would destroy you. I am just a man, imperfection at its peak, who has fallen in love with you, and all I desire is to be able to touch your feet every day to know that I deserve to be loved."

"Krithika, my darling, my loving Kanmani, I don't know if you love me or not, I don't expect you to be forced into my life. But I know that I'll love you till my last breath, and no, there won't be any other woman in my life after you.", he whispered, "Being in love with Subhadra had made me a passionate maniac like my Amma had told me, and I had started to destroy myself when she had left me but...", he gave a peck on her nose, "But loving you made me realize that my life is not worthless, it is not destructible by my silly madness, you made me realize that I deserve every ounce of this life in this same body."

"I have had enough of hiding my feelings, I cannot bear to lie to you when all I want is to love you every second of the day.", he gave a quick peck on her lips, "And you ask me why you are my Queen!?"

He felt her breathing fast, perhaps crushed by his confession, "I know it's all overwhelming to you and I am sorry if I scared you--"

His Kanmani pulled his face and kissed him, pouring everything into that kiss.

--

A/N

Now, that was a tough chapter to write. I got a bit emotional and had to take various breaks in between to calm myself as it took ninety-six chapters (almost 78K words) to finally make my main character accept and confess that he deserves love.

Okay, I am not crying, that's just dust.

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