Not A Simple Engineer Boy!

Twenty Two: Utilitarianism (Part 1)

Xavier was brooding.

In his dimly lit wet bar, drinking whiskey from his glass he brooded with a disturbing thought.

You are the worst boss.

Those words kept repeating in his mind, like an alarm in an early morning- torture of snooze after snooze. It had been three days already and those words still rang through his every waking thought, fresh like the first time.

He knew that his employees favored Satya over him, but it wasn't because he was a bad- surely not the worst- boss. Satya was empathetic and cheerful compared to him. Whereas he was hard on people because he believed discipline brought the best out of them, it always had done the best for him.

"Why have you a shitty face now?", Satya cut through his thoughts. Taking a swift sip of whiskey, she sat next to him.

She had accompanied him after work, wanting to spend some time with him. It wasn't uncommon, they did drink occasionally, sometimes it was his place, and other times it was hers. But that evening she had looked tense. When asked for a reason she had mumbled that in the coming week, there was some personal work for her to attend to in Mumbai and she won't be available for some days.

Shaking his head, he sipped a mouthful from his glass, "Satya, do you think my team hates me?", he questioned.

She choked, "Are you high?", gasping for air she coughed heavily, "Can I have some?"

He took his glass in his hand and leaned forward resting his arms over the counter, "The last time I had some hash was at your birthday party."

And that was when you had kissed those lips.

Fucking shut up!

"Answer me."

"And why do you ask that?", her brows quirked high.

"Answer the damn question.", he muttered slowly, loud enough for her ears to address his question.

Muttering something under her breath she leaned her back over the counter, "Xav, you are somewhat authoritarian.", she turned her face to look at him. Her lips pursed as she pondered before answering him, "Not entirely though. Now come on don't make that face, I am just saying that you are stricter than what you believe to be.", she sighed, "That can be tough. It's like you achieve extraordinary things and expect everyone to be at your level, which is... Kind of not fair."

"So, it's true."

Xavier had never thought that the chaos from his personal life would seep into his professional relationships. He had thought that his desire for perfection was equally recommendable for everyone, that his maniac workaholic personality was common. But he was wrong, so wrong.

"What is true?", Satya tapped on the glass counter inquiring him.

His eyes were set on his glass, carefully judging his dull image on the surface of the whiskey, "Why you never told me?", he was confused, "Why did no one in my team confront me if they weren't comfortable?", he gulped the liquor in a single swig.

Satya giggled as if taken by surprise, "Are you on a path of self-assessment or something like that?"

Silence. He didn't reply and chose to ignore her question.

"You are a good guy, Xavier.", it did sound assuring to him, "It's just that the passion for your work makes you blind.", after a pause, she added thoughtfully, "...sometimes."

Filling his glass with his favorite Johnnie Walker, he pondered, "Probably, I have been far too ignorant to even notice things that are significant."

Satya shook her head in disagreement, "No, now don't jump to conclusions. If that was the case, your team wouldn't admire you the way they do."

Do they?

He wanted to ask, wanted to take her words as a balm to soothe himself.

Why did it matter so much?

Yes, he had been always an achiever, from school to college- Summa cum laude all the way. No one had ever questioned his integrity; his work spoke loud to the world. And yet one person, one particular girl, had trampled on his crisp confidence.

"Whatever train of thought going through your head is rubbish, stop it already.", Satya placed her hand on his, "If you are so worried, next time, try to be more considerate, probably ask your team about it."

So, she was right.

He looked at Satya. Her face held a genuine smile and it was infectious. He surrendered his worries to it as his lips curved.

"And try to smile more.", her eyes twinkled with suppressed mischief, "That pretty smile of yours combined with your handsomeness could make anyone succumb to it."

Chuckling to her idiotic claims, he shook his head, "I am not aiming for victory."

"I know. As I said earlier, you are a good man, you don't require yourself a lousy judgment.", she stood, pushing the stool behind her. Strolling towards him, her hands wrapped around his shoulder from behind, "I have to leave, bye.", she hugged him for a few minutes, standing still in the same position. Before standing straight, she gave a quick peck on his shoulder and left him alone.

He saw her retreating form and retired back to his loneliness.

Considerate enough.

--

"Need help?"

Xavier stood next to Priya, as she scrolled through various CFD files, most of them were recently discussed design sketches. Startled by his presence, she gawked at him while he pointed towards her desk, "What are you searching for?"

Akash who had been hunting along with Priya, left her side and stood in attention, "Good m..morning, sir!", he stammered.

Shutting his eyes close, Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose. It was exhausting. It had been a week by then, a week of trying to be 'considerate' as suggested by Satya. And all he got in return was stuttered replies and frozen expressions.

Am I this scary or unexpected to be of help?

"Sir, it's nothing", a feeble reply from Priya made him look at her, "W..we can manage."

He stared at her, "I want to help you out if you are stuck in a mess, as your immediate senior that's my job."

Akash swallowed visibly, "Yes... Yes, sir.", he allowed further, "We were searching for an analysis of design, the one we discussed with you last Friday."

Leaning forward, he grabbed the mouse from Priya's hold. His eyes rummaged through and he finally opened a file, "Here..."

A smile found its way on his lips as their eyes widened, "Try to be more systematic with saving designs and other things in your system.", he clicked his tongue, "Well, as a boss, I'll not like it much if the auditors find this mess."

Priya flustered red, embarrassed by his comment. He chuckled, "Don't worry, you can start working on it from tomorrow. There's time for internal auditing."

He gave them a slight nod and left them to continue with their work.

---

A/N

Ah, considerate enough it seems XD

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