Not A Simple Engineer Boy!

Forty Nine: Lagrangian Mechanics (Part 2)

Krithika still felt her lips tingling with pleasure, still craving that pleasure.

It had already been two days and her lips didn't mind her apathetic attitude towards whatever had happened. She thought that maybe her being aggressively hateful to Xavier was the reason for her attraction. Wasn't that what her therapist had told her? - 'The more the emotion, the more the affection.'

Thus, she decided to not be annoyed, but rather be indifferent to Xavier, calm and peaceful was the way to go.

She had gone to the same therapist as suggested by Satya for the last few months but had omitted exceptionally large portions from her discussions, specifically her interactions and uncontrollable attraction to her boss. Now, that was a shitty attitude but she felt too embarrassed to share it with anyone.

Her therapist had eyed her when her mouth had accidentally slipped information about her self-explorations leading to mind-blowing orgasms.

She had affirmed her and had questioned, "It's good. But do you think it is linked with someone you know personally?"

Krithika had shaken her head vigorously in negative, "No... I don't think so."

Yes, she had a pretty clear picture of whom those orgasms linked to, who had shattered her world bright whenever she had drowned in sweat and pleasure.

But she couldn't reveal her dirty secrets. Yes, that's what she had named it- her tiny box of dirty secrets. It was a pretty golden box with the name 'Xavier Lucifer Joseph' and a tiny subtitle to it 'Kama Deva of my imagination'. It had a good collection of all the lewd pictures and imaginary videos- illusions of him, especially him with her, kept neatly inside it. It was locked carefully like a treasure, the key under the control of her wicked subconscious.

Only apathy, only apathy, only apathy...

She chanted as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't want to look like a beggar, especially when she was going to visit her mentor's house. She wore a bright red churidar dress with long sleeves, it wasn't exactly a perfect fit. She was more than insecure about her body and wearing a fit dress was just out of any option.

Only people with bodies sculpted like seductive poses of men and women in temple walls can be confident, oh you do know one particular man--

APATHY.

She sighed and chanted her mantra again.

She had kept her hair open, just to cover whatever extra skin that was visible from the low-back. It was a decent dress; she had bought it for half the price during the discount season. The color of her dress didn't go well with her dark complexion but she had only four dresses that looked worth wearing and this particular one had a festive vibe to it.

Apathy. Apathy. Apathy.

She kept mumbling to herself as she wore her flats, heels could die that day as she wanted to be comfortable rather than being a little bit tall. Also, traveling in the metro with heels sounded too foolish to her.

Apathy. Apathy. Apathy.

It was Satya's house, but she knew that it was inevitable to meet Xavier. It was a known fact amongst employees that they both visited each other's house, for whatever reason, that she didn't believe. She had tasted bile once when she saw them together on New Year's Eve, dancing like the king and his queen. But she knew better than others, they surely weren't a couple.

Xavier wouldn't have kissed you if he was dating Satya. He wouldn't cheat.

Maybe.

No, he didn't just kiss you, he kissed you like he was hungry for you and--

"Apathy!?!", she cried out in frustration. Why was it so hard? It was a mistake, wasn't it?

She glanced at the mirror one last time before taking her wallet with her phone and leaving the room.

Her phone pinged and it read, 'Pongal Nalvazhtukkal!', obviously from Rathna. Did the guy have no other job?

Her phone pinged again, 'I hope it reads Happy Pongal, that's what Google said to me.'

'Yes. And a very happy Uttarayan to you.' she replied.

'Yes, I am very happy indeed, Chakudi. My sister is kind of pissed at me right now.'

She smiled imagining a red furious younger female copy of Rathna glaring at him with absolute annoyance. From whatever messages he had exchanged, she knew that his sister was his stars, moon, and all the things in the universe.

She never had a dotting elder brother. And she wasn't exactly a loving sister to her baby brother. Her parents, especially her father had scarred their relationship. It was done and dusted, she was out alone in the world, with nowhere and no one to go to if she ever needed one. Probably except for Satya, who did comfort her at times.

'I think Radha is going to cry, what do you think I should do?', Rathna's message chimed in mentioning his sister's name.

'If losing your kite is worth her happiness...' she sent him the message as she walked towards the station.

Her heart ached, she wanted to meet her brother, hug him, and probably cry about how much she would have loved him if her father hadn't made it tough for her. It was foolish of her to punish her brother, rob off of his only sibling bond.

'That's what I thought, Chakudi. That's exactly what I thought!'

Tears brimmed her eyes and she put that stupid phone inside her wallet as she sat inside the train. She closed her eyes and let her tears fall, she couldn't feel anything but sorry for herself. She was just alone, and somewhere it was killing her.

Strong, Independent, and Alone.

--

A/N

Harrys Jayaraj- bringing in this banger romantic hit when I was kid, and I still listen to this XD

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