Not A Simple Engineer Boy!

Forty Three: Torsional Rigidity (Part 2)

Xavier had a constant grumpy expression which irked Satya. She was concerned and annoyed, both. His mood swings were as unpredictable as a PMSing woman and she felt like his boyfriend, always on the edge.

"Why are you angry?", she asked slowly as if talking to a cat that was ready to jump.

"I am not.", he lied.

Sighing she continued, "Xavier, do you know how much it frustrates me when you are like this.", she massaged her temples, "I would have doubted your gender if your body was not this masculine."

"You are a woman, why insult yourself.", he pointed out.

"That's why I know how a woman's mood swings work.", she huffed, "You are just--"

"I am jealous of him!?", Xavier murmured, his eyes widening in shock as if it was an important revelation.

Satya questioned, "Jealous of whom?"

"Nothing." he wiped his face off any emotion.

"What the fuck are you up to these days?", she scoffed, "You blabber incoherently that makes no sense and when asked you put a stop to it!"

"I don't fucking know, okay?", he bit back, "Don't you have anything else to do?"

She fisted her hands as she tried to not slap him hard, "Fuck you.", she spat and left him alone in his home.

Let the prick be alone and fuck himself.

She screamed inside her mind as she drove the car back to her home. So much for being a loving motherly figure.

--

It hit like a train, the realization that whatever ugly feeling he had after seeing Krithika and Rathna laugh together was nothing but 'Jealousy'.

Why was he jealous of him? He had no answer.

Did the attraction for the sweetheart bother him to the point where he was jealous of the young chap? He had no answer.

How much his sweetheart a--

His breath caught in his throat, "Not my sweetheart.", he swallowed painfully, trying to erase the association which his mind had spun.

It was wrong. Why did so many wrong things happen one after another? Why does every control slip out like silk from him?

"Not my sweetheart.", he repeated trying to register it in his mind, his teeth grinding hard. He flinched when the sharp pain hit inside his left palm, "Fuck!"

He kicked the table and it screeched away. He was angry, not at being attracted to a woman, but for being attracted to a woman who was far too young. He was furious for being attracted to a woman who detested him. He was enraged for letting his control slip for a woman who hated his touch or his whole being for that matter.

He was so fucking infuriated for being attracted to Ms. Krithika Ashok, the sweetheart, his sweetheart and he couldn't control anything about it.

He laid his head flat on the sofa as he watched the ceiling, the leafy patterns swirling slowly as he focussed on them. They were of dark bronze shade, reminiscent of eternal autumn and eminent coldness.

It was the first time he had noticed them. He hadn't given much thought to it when the interior designer had questioned his preferences. He had vaguely referred to autumn, the only season where he connected the lifelessness outside to the barren soul of himself. But he never knew that autumn had more to itself.

The majestic color graced a slight touch of olive green or was it something else, he was never good with color codes. It was like a spark of life within those dead leaves, a hopeful twinkle.

Was this how Satya saw life? For her, every sunrise was magical, probably because she saw meaning in them, a life that she hoped for herself.

Was he observing those leaves like that? The beautiful color reminded him of Krithika's supple skin, dark and glowing. They were tender, just like her. The hint of green like her youth, the curves of each twig like her body, the strong golden edges of highlights like her confidence... Every fucking thing like her. She was beautiful inside and out.

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

He recalled how she had stood for herself against him yet how she had accepted being guilty of nonsense to protect her friend. He remembered how confidence sparked in her when she had discussed her work.

He remembered how beautiful she looked in his arms, how her body felt against his, how ethereal her sweet laughs sounded.

But you were not the one responsible for that happiness.

He shut his eyes, shut his world out, and tried to forget everything for his peace. He'd had enough pain for this life to suffer, his heart wouldn't allow anymore. He couldn't allow it anymore.

--

A/N

"OK, Kanmani" is one of my favorite movies, and the song 'Aye Sinamika' is nothing but pure bliss.

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