Not A Simple Engineer Boy!

Ninety: Sweet Rage (Part 3)

"Oh my darling!", he pulled her in his arms and hugged her, which made her fall into a fit of tears, "I am so sorry. Fuck. I shouldn't have... I have never...", he softly crooned, "Forgive me, my sweetheart... I would never in my wildest dream try to hurt you, Krithika."

Yes, she believed every bit of that statement. She trusted him, trusted that he would never hurt her, trusted that he'd try to protect her at all cost, and probably believed that he was the only one in the world who would do anything for her.

Yet she had felt a stab of fear when he had yelled at her. It reminded her of her father, who used to abusively shout at her. She knew that Xavier was nothing like her father, but her mind had transported her to a point where she was a tiny kid and her father had cursed her- screaming so loud- for eating a piece of Mysore Pak without his permission. The child in her still dreaded eating that particular sweet dish.

Her eyes felt heavy and tired as she continuously cried, while he kept shushing her, his voice as light as a feather flying its way through the breeze.

They stood still for a long time, him hugging her, his hands caressing her hair and face. The warmth from Xavier's body lulled her to comfort. Tilting her head she looked at him, "Xav, I don't like it when you are angry.", her eyebrows scrunched together, "I know that I am getting on your nerves, more often than--"

"No, I was... it's something else, not you.", he cut her speech in between, "I promise that I won't be angry at you ever. Okay?"

"You don't keep your promises!", she muttered, trying to wrench herself out of his hug but he didn't budge, "Satya ma'am knows about us."

A bright smile found its way to his lips. Her heart skipped a beat when those dimples appeared, "Were you pissed at me because of that?", she heard him whisper.

She nodded, still mesmerized by his beautiful smile.

"Satya knew about us even before we knew about us.", he gave her a peck on her forehead, "She has the eyes of a hawk and there's nothing which misses her radar."

"But you..."

"I don't break promises.", he smiled, "Satya has her ways of knowing everything about me. She's just a bit protective.", he stared into her eyes, "I didn't think it would trouble you so much, else I would have told you earlier."

Oh! And you thought that he lied to you. Stupid, Krithika.

Realizing that it was getting late, she wiped her cheeks and tried to push his arms, "I should get going."

"Stay."

It was raining gold inside his eyes and he requested something which she couldn't deny.

--

"You said it wasn't me but something else, what is it?"

He saw her curious eyes expectantly looking at him. Would it be too soon for him to open up about his childhood? Only a few knew details about it and he wanted to keep it that way. But something inside his mind desired to tell her, to let her inside the walls of his heart, to let her touch the scars of his life.

He motioned for her to eat her dinner, "We will talk later."

"Okay."

She didn't pry for more and he was thankful about that. The thought of allowing her into his past made him anxious. Even though he loved her, she hadn't clearly expressed anything yet. Forget love, he had no clue whether she trusted him or not.

The way she had recoiled at his temper made him aware that he had changed into a different person. He was no longer the calm and cheerful Xavier he used to be. One heartbreak had made him into something that he used to despise, and the last thing he would ever want for himself was yet another betrayal. He would rather die than go through the pain again.

But he wanted to let her see the nightmares that haunted him from his childhood, let her see his pain.

And after that, if she decided to not stay with him anymore, he was ready to die, as bliss lies within the destruction of oneself.

--

Krithika stared at Xavier, her breathing labored by nervousness. After dinner, he had carried her in his arms to his bedroom. Her body shivered at the thought of them being together, to be together.

Kissing her knuckles, he stared at her, "Krithika, do you...do you trust me?"

She wet her lips, they were parched like the leaves of autumn. His eyes melted her into him, golden hues over brown beckoning her to drown.

"Darling?", he whispered.

She sat on the edge of his bed while he kneeled on the floor, in front of her. Her hands reached out to hold his face and he leaned in. They kissed slowly, savoring the moment and each other. Her eyes shut themselves as he moved closer pushing her knees apart. It felt surreal, like a dream where she was flowing effortlessly. Her toes curled when his hands held her waist, the warmth seeping through her thin kurti.

He broke from the kiss, "Please, look at me."

Fluttering like a butterfly, her eyes struggled to open. This was not how she had expected to feel, this was not how her heart wanted to beat.

Finally, giving in to his plea she opened her eyes and met with his love-filled golden-brown orbs, "I trust you, Xavier.", she breathed, "I trust you with my life."

And I love you.

--

A/N

Registering this day- 23rd February 2024, the day when I first drafted this chapter, the day when I found the song, which is attached to this chapter, that made me cry from being so beautiful.

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