Not A Simple Engineer Boy!

H' & Thirty One: First Love (Part 4)

"Xav, what happened?"

Krithika was alarmed to see Xavier's face, he looked pale and his eyeballs were red.

"My darling, Xavier...", she closed the door behind her. Tossing her bag to the side she crooned, "Were you crying, Xav? Why are you upset?"

He didn't respond and it was too unnerving for her. Her hands cupped his face, "Did I do anything to hurt you?", she blinked, "Is it because I declined to come and meet your parents?"

Still silence.

They stood about the entrance, staring at each other, for so long that Krithika started to feel tired as anxiety consumed her.

What happened? Why does my darling look so sad?

"Xavier, my love...?"

And at that instant, she saw him break down and pull her into his arms. He lifted her wrapping his arms around her waist as she held his shoulder, trying not to be scared of falling as her feet left the floor.

"I am sorry...", she heard him murmur against her neck as his hot tears washed her skin, "I am so sorry, Kanmani."

What is he sorry about?

"About...?"

He lifted his face from the crook of her neck and looked into her eyes, "I... Today, I have been thinking about... Subhadra."

Oh...

It hurt her. She didn't want to feel anything but it was painted on her face. She loved him and it was one of the worst things to be heard from Xavier.

Does he often think about her?

"About...?"

His eyes were so full of tears, "About our time in college..."

It shouldn't have affected her but it did. Her eyes started to burn, "Why... now?", her voice quavered with pain as she bowed. She trusted him, she trusted that he wouldn't break her heart.

"Achan... That monster is dead and it was Subhadra... who had helped me get over...", he sobbed, his body trembling and shaking her with every movement of his.

Subhadra had been everything for Xavier, there was no going back on that claim. She knew that Subhadra was Xavier's first love, and it ought to have been special, it ought to have been a lifelong memory.

As for her, it was Xavier.

She had never remotely felt possessive of anyone in her life, except for Xavier. She had never been protective of anyone until she started loving Xavier and now even a word against him made her blood boil with rage. She had never cared for anyone before but love transformed her into a Kudumba Kutthuvilakku- a domesticated woman, who started learning his favorite food to cook, started buying dresses of his favorite color, and whatnot.

She wasn't changing herself into a stranger, it wasn't a negative development for her- for Krithika's identity. It was a part of her that was evolving into Xavier's Kanmani, and it amounted to priceless happiness within her. Her brain had a good knowledge of how he would never allow her to lose her identity, she very well understood Xavier loved her for being herself and nothing else.

She knew he loved her body and soul yet a tiny sharp needle pinched inside her chest.

It was tough to live with the fact that she wasn't Xavier's first love, but he never had made her feel anything less. Moreover, his love for her was beyond what she could have imagined a man submitting to a woman- his woman. Nothing had readied her for him, for the kind of trust he had in her... the way he cared for her... the manner he admired and respected her.

She tilted her head to face him. When her eyes looked into his, they were searching for her love, they were asking for her forgiveness. His big eyes were swirling with the golden pool of guilt and hurt and... Oh, how could she deny it? How could she be rude to this man who loved her so much to feel that he wronged her by just thinking about his first love? And who would be honest enough to ask for forgiveness for that?

Let the world ruin to ashes, he loves me and I know that.

Her hands held the sides of his head and leaned forward. She kissed his forehead, "Your father... He doesn't deserve any of your emotion, not even your hatred.", wiping his tears she smiled, "You shouldn't care much about his weight on this earth."

"Krithika..."

Bowing slightly, she kissed the tip of his nose, "I am not finished yet...", after giving a quick peck at his fluttering eyelids, her eyes focussed on his pink lips as she whispered, her breath fanning over his skin, "About your ex-wife... In the future, I won't be as pliable as now to your teary golden eyes."

And it was a bald-faced lie.

It could have been him who had closed the gap and kissed her... Or was it her? She didn't care much. His lips were light on her, consuming her very being into the inception of something so pure that she whimpered.

"Xavier...Oh, Xav... Plead to me, make me forgive you...", she moaned, "Make me come..."

That was all the invitation he needed to deepen their kiss, plunging his tongue into her mouth like he was making love to her mouth.

--

A/N

Sometimes I think of how good songs are wasted on useless movies. "Abhi Abhi" is one of them.

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