An Adventure Into the Sky: 2- GAZOOKS!
I'm just going to say, I honestly highly dislike some parts of this book. O.o Mainly because I think I could have made much better characters. I mean, honestly? Gaz is fine for the first bit, but then he starts to get old. So, I'm changing some things about him.
Anyway. Welcome back to the second re-written chapter! In this chapter, we'll be exploring the art of somehow lengthening a chapter that had ABSOLUTELY NO PLOT WHATSOEVER!!! This is going to be impossible *Dejected*
---/2/---
The small creature wondered about his ancestry, his parents and grandparents. Why had he been abandoned? He had never met anyone besides himself, he had to survive by himself.
He was lonely.
He sighed. Was he completely alone in this world? Was he to never hear another voice besides his own? Would he never know of others?
Were there none other than him in this cruel world?
"GAZOOKS!" A cry came from from right behind the lonely yellow creature, sounding surprised and comical.
"Wha?" He spun around to see a short, squat creature leaping out of a bush, in such a way that the creature's feet barely left the ground.
"I seem to be in the presence of a foreign creature I have not seen before," the small, greenish creature muttered to himself, as if talking to an invisible audience. "I brace myself for the attack that is sure to come, as the barbarian is yellow, a sure sign of a pent-up attack. Will I survive? This is to be left to fate. I must see if my extremely powerful fighting techniques can overcome the barbarian's cunning and deadly instinct, mixed with a lack of conscience and ability to cheat easily. What will become of me? Only time wi-"
"Um... Hello." The small yellow creature scratched the back of its neck, and the other creature, circling him, almost jumped up in surprise.
"Gazooks! It has revealed to me that it has the ability to speak! Or is this a clever trick to lower my guard? I am no fool. I shall attack."
"Um... Who are you?" The yellow creature was beginning to get annoyed.
"He asks me a question, surely intended to grow bonds between us so he can stab me in the night. But I am no fool! I shall never tell him that my name is Gaz, I shall fight him!"
"Er, excuse me? Could you tell me what's going one?"
The creature (Gaz) stepped backwards a little. "It seems to be feigning ignorance to gain my trust. But it is becoming more believable. What could it possibly be?"
"Er. I'm a Pikachu. Ah, who are you?" The Pikachu grimaced.
"Me? I'm Gaz! The Munchlax! The head of the Pokemon Island column! A journalist!" Then he seemed to realize what he was saying. "He has tricked information out of me. What shall I do? I must defeat him in battle!"
"No, no!" Pikachu exclaimed. "Look, I'm just looking for food!"
"Oh, why didn't you just say that!? Nice to meet you, I'm the Munchlax known as Gaz. It's a bit of an urban legend why they call me Gaz, want to guess?" The Munchlax seemed almost hyper, grinning goofily.
"Well. Hopefully not reason I'm thinking of..." The Pikachu took a step back, seeming a little overwhelmed by the other Pokemon's personality.
"I'll tell you! It's because my catchphrase is GAZOOKS! But that's not the only reason..."
"Er... No more information please," the Pikachu said, feeling awkward.
"Okay okay okay!!! So, what are you doing in treasure town!!?"
The Pikachu stepped back slightly, the enthusiastic Munchlax not noticing.
"Treasure Town?"
"This town is called treasure town. About ten years ago it got ravaged by a terrible monsoon, followed by a variety of dangerous storms. It was a horrible disaster. But, luckily mostly everyone survived in the place where I live, Clefairy's guild. It was once called Wigglytuff's guild but he is older now and and decided to pass it on to his friend, Clefairy!"
The Munchlax gulped for air. "You said you were hungry! So I'm going to take you to Clefairy's guild for supper! Come on!"
"Supper...?" The Pikachu still looked stunned, unable to take in the rapid events that had just happened.
Grabbing our poor pikachu by the hand, Gaz cheerfully dragged him off towards... certain doom? Or supper?
END---/2/---END
You think this chapter was short? You should have have seen the first edition O.o. I think it will be available to read at the end of this story.
Right! Please don't read the first draft, it will give away small spoilers, and is currently the last five (or is it four?) chapters of this book. Once the first five chapters of the second draft is out, however, feel free to check out the rather horrible first version. I honestly can't believe how short the original chapter for this was O.o
Anyway. Tell me what you think! Is this worthy of being continued?