An Adventure Into the Sky: 1
I have decided that, because I don't really feel like doing anything else, I shall edit the first chapter of An Adventure Into the Sky. Because this full edit will be done offline, I will have more time for it and will hopefully make this a good edit. It will still not be that great, I might actually rewrite this entire book. In fact, that's a good idea. Thank you, self, for thinking of that. Okay, I've created my new doc and it's time to rumble! This will be the first chapter written on my iPod since... A long time ago. :D
Without further ado, I bring you the slightly rewritten chapter one!
---/Prologue/---
"NOOOO!" The hollow scream echoed through the gloomy room. "Ha-Have mercy!! Please!" The voice of the middle-aged man was pleading, begging through the pain that seemed to come out of nowhere. His black hair and clothing made him nearly blend in with the dismal surroundings, a roughly twenty-square-foot room, with no windows and only one barred door. The door, while seeming steel, didn't seem too enforced and it showed that the people in possession of the room did not think highly of the abilities of their prisoner.
"It hurts!! The pain!!" The man was doubled over, his face scrunched up and the entire picture made it look like he was being tortured, although there seemed to be no possible device in the room that would do so.
"So," came the silky feminine voice of the tall woman standing menacingly in front of him, "you've decided to… further our cause with the information we are entitled too?"
"Please reconsider! You do not know what you are trying to— oof!" he choked, having been pushed further away from his oppressor due to a firm kick, her high heels barely even moving.
"I fully realize what I am trying to do, and what it will cause. Give me the information, or..."
"No! I can't let you do this! I wish I had never helped you!" He could barely talk, but his protests simply bounced off the woman.
"You have great resolve, my dear friend Jerry, but I shall have this information. You must realize, this is for the good of all people!" When he just backed away a little, she sighed over-dramatically. "Well, then, I suppose we shall just have to do something more severe in order to convince you that you must give us the coordinates."
"I do not care for my own well-being!" He glared at her. "You cannot have the coordinates! You cannot succeed in what you are trying to do!"
"Heh. Yes, clearly you are unable to care for yourself. That's why we've finally decided to change track." She turned towards the barred door. "Send in project J-9."
The door opened for almost a moment, and a young girl was shoved in.
"Liza!" The man crawled forward, towards the girl. "Liza, can you hear me? It's going to be okay!"
"This is not your daughter," the woman said. "This is our greatest achievement. Bring in Gerard!"
The door opened once more, and a confused guard walked in. "What's going on?" He looked around.
"Liza. Capture him."
At the menacing words, the girl leapt up and slammed her fist into the side of his head. He fell sideways, with a surprised look on his face, while the girl swiftly produced a rope out of nowhere and bound him up in it.
"Capture complete," she said with an evil grin. Then she looked at the man. "Would you like me to do anything to him?"
The woman grinned. "Jerry, who is she?"
"Liza! My daughter! Can't you hear me?"
"Oh, I can hear you well enough. Psh- daughter. You wish." The girl, Liza, seemed annoyed by the man in front of her.
"Liza, please leave." Liza nodded and obeyed the woman, the door slamming shut behind her.
"So, Jerry. What about your wife? Your son? Would you like them to become our warriors, as well?"
"No! I'll give you the information! Please! Just don't hurt my family!"
She nodded, and left the room. "You shall be called to my study later today. I would suggest you not change your decision.
---/Forward/---
This is the start of what might be an amazing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon fanfic. The rights to Pokemon, PMD, and most of the creatures in this fanfic belong to gamefreak, and such. I claim rights to my regions, characters, their personalities, and the story and plot in general.
I've said that this will be a PMD FanFiction, already. But what will be different is that this story will be based off the idea, not the plot. When the original version came out, I had intended to more or less rewrite the plot of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Sky. Reading the forward, however, and re-thinking my ideas for this story, made me think a little. Why follow the game? Why not create a completely original book based on the idea?
That's what this will be. Prepare yourselves, because it's time for an adventure into the sky!
---/Chapter One/---
"Ugh," complains a small, yellow creature. It grimaces, not for the first time, and then sighs. "There has to be somewhere in this dump that I can find something to eat."
It looks around it's surroundings, the remnants of a place called -rea--r- To--, so decimated even the --lcom- to -rea--r- To-- sign is incomprehensible. he can guess that the first two faded words once said 'Welcome to...', but it was anyone's guess as to the name of the place that they were being welcomed into.
"I wonder what happened to this place, it's pretty much rubble and more rubble. Something pretty bad, that's for sure."
He was an orphan, abandoned in a forest, surviving for years by himself, only recently chancing upon this ghost town. He had found a few precious apples left over in the small pile of rubble that had once been '-ec---n's Sh--' along with some rare gummi's. These, though, had only kept his stomach satisfied for a day or two, after coming out of the forest.
He had hoped that it would have kept him going for much longer time, until he could find a village. But now, it seemed, there was nothing left to eat. He would have to return to the forest, and eat leaves instead.
Ugh.
But it seemed fate would not have this way...
"GAZOOKS!"
END---/1/---END
Well, you've read the re-written chapter. What do you think? Has it improved? Someone wise enough once said something along the lines of, "If you are blocked then you need to do something different." Well, I suppose actually re-writing it would be something different enough, correct?
Anyway. You've met our main character, and you've also had an epic prologue that took me forever to re-write. I have no clue when the next re-written chapter will be out, but it will depend on how much I feel like working on this. I don't know how long this book will be, it might turn into one of my shorter stories. Maybe twenty-thirty chapters for the full book.
Anyway, what am I thinking? I should finish off this afterword and let you all do something else! :D
