Weightless| Vkook 💜

Fuck You| 18

Currently it's 4:30am and school starts at 8:30. That's exactly 4 hours Taehyung has to kill.

He starts by walking shakily down the road. He never got the chance to explore the neighborhood before so now he's taking the time to do what he wants.

In particular he's looking for a place to run to when his father's beatings get too much. Maybe a deserted park would do. Or an abandoned house would be even better.

But if he has to resort to a tree for safety, that's ok with him. Taehyung just wants to know that he has options he can go to. He doesn't care where or what it is.

Deep down inside, however, he wishes this safe place would be a person. A person who feels like a home should.

But this is all just a fantasy and Taehyung is in reality all alone, walking the dirty streets kind of hoping to be kidnapped or murdered.

It would be more exciting than being beaten to pulp day in day out.

He often wonders what death would be like. Would it be calm? Nobody coming to bother him. Or would it be loud, scary? Everyone coming out to hurt him.

Maybe he would go to heaven and live the life of royalty? No. That wouldn't happen. After all he is a nobody and everybody hates him.

He means nothing to everyone and to everyone he is nothing. Nothing at all...

Maybe he would end up going to hell? Killed and tortured in the afterlife. That's a possibility. Well that's if hell actually exists.

Or maybe he would be reincarnated. He hopes desperately that doesn't happen. He doesn't know if he could survive another round of getting his hopes up only to have them beaten out of him.

That's just cruel.

His ideal would be to just lie under the soil and rest. Everything quiet and calm. Nobody there to bother him or hurt him.

He would be all alone. He wouldn't have to get his trust broken or his heart shattered. It would all be easier that way.

But what really happens after death?

Nobody knows.

Taehyung desperately wants to know but is too scared to find out for himself. He wants to prepare himself for death incase his father gets angry enough and actually kills him or if he ever racks up the courage to leave himself.

He just needs to know if it's worth it or if he's got it lucky right now.

Although he doubts the situation that he's in could ever be classed as lucky. If hell is a place, he wishes to be taken there if he's not already in it as he doubts things could get much worse.

Taehyung's not oblivious to his parents hate. He knows neither of them love him, but he can't find it in himself to hate or not love them back.

'One sided love hurts, but having one sided love with your parents hurts even more' Taehyung thinks to himself.

He snickers at his own depressing thoughts and lies down on a nearby park bench that looks decently comfortable to sleep on.

Obviously there are no kids running round the park as it's so early in the morning so Taehyung's all alone.

The park contains; a small slide - no taller than Taehyung himself - , a set of swings and a small climbing frame - once again no taller than Taehyung.

It's clearly not made for teenagers, or anyone over the age of 5, but Taehyung quite likes the place.

An added bonus is that the bench is pretty comfortable. He would happily sleep there all night.

He trusts that this is a safe place to go to when he needs an escape.

Taehyung looks up at the sky above him and starts laughing emptily.

There's not a single ounce of feeling in his voice. It's hollow and expressionless.

He sounds dead on the inside.

"Fuck you" he whispers towards the sky.

He couldn't hate life more.

He has had this pent up anger at the world for such a long time but he's had no way ot letting it out.

It's unfair. Some people are loved by at least one person, but Taehyung's all alone.

"FUCK YOU!" he cries in anger.

Angry tears roll down his cheeks as soft sobs escape his dry lips. He's so done with the world and everything in it.

He's so done with existing.

Why did things end up like this? Why is he all alone?

The one person that he could turn to no matter what was his grandmother but she died not to long ago.

He wasn't even allowed to go to her funeral. His father wouldn't allow it. Taehyung remembers his father beating him harder than ever before.

He still has the scars.

But despite his painful state, Taehyung still tried to go.

His father locked him in their basement for a week. He hardly got any water or food. Definitely not enough for a growing teenager.

Taehyung's not sure how much of the time he was unconscious and how much he was actually awake for.

The feeling of loneliness and uselessness is like a scar in Taehyung's mind. He still feels pain from the event. He's traumatized.

Traumatized by the blank empty walls that don't even encase a window of some sort.

Traumatized by the empty space that didn't even hold a bed.

Traumatized by the feeling of being all alone.

Traumatized by his father and his wicked ways.

'maybe I did something really bad in my past life' Taehyung thinks to himself as he looks over towards the tree where lots of small little birds live.

'or maybe God just hates me'

He hopes the birds don't have abusive parents like him.

'i doubt God exists. How could he live with himself when he just allows me suffer'

Slowly Taehyung sits up on the bench and looks towards the blue sky.

"Fuck you" he whispers once again.