Weightless| Vkook 💜

Realisation| 32

Both males walk out of class at the end of the lesson, talking like old friends again.

Yoongi fills Taehyung in on the last year and what happened and Taehyung makes up some lies to tell him back.

"So what's going on with you, Jimin and Hoseok?" Taehyung finally asks.

"You sure you want to know about that?" Yoongi asks, being mindful of the fact that he's talking with his ex.

"Yea sure. They seem nice and so.....how do I say it nicely....different from you" Taehyung says cheekily.

Yoongi rolls his eyes playfully with a love struck grin on his face.

"They really are great Taehyung" Yoongi says. "They're always so nice and kind. They bring out the best in me"

"I'm glad. You really do seem happy"

Yoongi's smile drops ever so slightly. There's a little bit of sadness detected in his eyes.

"Yoongi what's wrong?" Taehyung asks with concern.

"I think I hurt them" he confesses.

"How?"

"I told them bits about you, never your name, just how much fun we used to have together"

"Then how did you upset them? I don't understand" Taehyung admits.

"I never told them how I left you and what happened. Jimin is very sensitive about that stuff and he became friends with you not knowing that his boyfriend was the one to hurt you. He's very empathetic you see. I don't know if he will ever forgive me" Yoongi spills his guts to Taehyung.

"I'm sure you will make up with him. Just give him time and space" Taehyung advises him.

'i didn't realize Jimin cared about me so much' Taehyung realises. 'this is bad. I'm hurting him just by being his friend. I'm a horrible person. This is all my fault. What do I do now?'

"Hobi doesn't hate me" Yoongi says with a small smile. "He's just frustrated"

"Well that's good. I'm sure Jimin will come round. Especially if he knows that we're getting along now"

"Hopefully" Yoongi says with a sad smile.

They walk down the corridor on the way to the lunch hall in silence. Neither of them quite know what to say so they just listen to the gentle tapping of their feet on the hard floor.

"I'm glad you and Jimin are friends" Yoongi says all of a sudden.

The out of the blue statement shocks Taehyung. Why would his ex be happy that he's friends with his boyfriend?

"Why?" He decides to ask.

"Because you deserve to be happy and have a friend that will make you happy no matter what. And Jimin can't ever stop talking about you and how nice you are"

"He thinks I'm nice?" Taehyung asks.

He can't remember a time where he hasn't been even a tiny bit rude. It worries him.

'this is bad. This is so bad'

Realisation dawns on Taehyung.

'I care about the little mochi. This isn't good at all. I can't let him close to me. I'm only going to get hurt. Fuck I can't let anyone close to me'

"Yeah Jimin is always saying how you guys are soulmates and when you're being yourself you're a great guy" Yoongi finishes.

All of this scares Taehyung. Nobody is supposed to like him.

'if he gets close to me he might find out about my father or my ugly eating habits' Taehyung thinks. 'i will end up hurting him and then he will hurt me. I can't let that happen'

"Taehyung what's going on?" Yoongi asks when he notices how quiet Taehyung is.

"I've got to go" Taehyung says as he turns back round the way they came.

"But what about lunch?" Yoongi asks with worry.

"I'm not hungry" Taehyung lies, he's starving.

Before Yoongi can say anything else Taehyung's dashing away from him.

Yoongi frowns at this weird behaviour but doesn't chase after Taehyung. He knows he needs space. But he plans on asking his boyfriend's what's going on.

He knows not everything is as it seems but he doesn't know what's going on. And he doubts he will be able to find out.

For Taehyung he runs down a flight of stairs in search of the nearest bathroom.

When he sees the sign for the male toilets he slams into the door. His eyes scan for people that might be near.

Once he's almost satisfied, he rushes into a stall and locks himself in there before falling painfully onto his knees.

Warm salty tears cascade like waterfalls down his soft red cheeks. Little sobs collect in the back of his throat but he doesn't let them out in fear of being heard.

He didn't manage to fully check that he's alone as he was too busy trying not to collapse. His breathings laboured and heavy.

Panic attack!

It suddenly clicks with him that's what's happening. And it isn't good.

He doesn't know what to do. How to control this.

'breath Taehyung' he scolds himself.

But no matter how many times he tells himself to breath, it doesn't work; If anything it makes it worse.

Before he knows it he's emptying the contents into the toilet. Or should I say lack of contents.

It's pure stomach acid that splashes into the toilet bowl.

It makes Taehyung shudder from the disgusting taste. At least when he throws up after eating he has the taste of that in his mouth.

But considering he can't remember the last time that he ate, he certainly has no pleasant taste in his mouth.

He coughs a few times as more salty tears wash down his face.

His chest rises and falls as his throat tightens from the lump in his throat.

'i can't do this' Taehyung cries to himself.

He flushes the toilet once he knows that he's not going to be sick again and just sits there in the same stall for the rest of the day, dreading what lies for him once he gets home.

He can't take the abuse anymore; He can't do it.