We Are Who We Are // Little Mix a.u. fiction

CHAPTER 58: Suicide

-"What?", I asked, shaking my head abd trying to assure myself that I heard that wrong.

-"I mean.. I was thankfully able to get out of school and not repeat the level, but I seriously did not try hard and no university accepted me. My parents were so disappointed that they barely even spoke to me for about five months.. Those five months wers hell. My parents fought because they didn't want to keep me in their houses. They were divorced. My mum ended up recieving me.. I was such an idiot", she sighed, shoving more clothes into the suitcase.

-"But why did you try to commit suicide?", I choked those words out. I hate the s word.

-"I was a bit depressed", she said.

-"Okay, maybe too depressed", she admitted.

-"How did you survive?", I asked.

-"This might sound unbelievably stupid, but Joe saved me", she said.

-"What? How? I mean..", I hesitated.

-"He saved me. He called the hospital and I woke up there. My mum found it useful for me to move out with him since my mum's new husband who was Joe's dad didn't love his son that much either. I loved Joe at first. More than you think... I mean.. We would actually fuck", she said.

I choked and fell onto my bum (we were sitting on the floor, me on my knees).

-"That's so... Weird", I managed to say. I mean, it's not weird. It's fucked up.

-"Not so much for me. we related a lot", she said.

-"Wow.. But you were step-siblings", I said.

-"We didn't share blood though", she shrugged.

-"But did you know we lived here?", I asked her.

-"Not untill Joe and I were in bed and he told me he stalked you. He admitfed he moved here to stalk you more", she sighed.

-"So what was your reaction?", I asked.

-"I didn't speak to him for a couple of days because I needed time to think. Then I decided to help you", she said.

-"How? Why help me?", I asked.

-"I realized my mistakes. I realized many things. I could finally get you and understand you. Being rejected by almost everyone from school... I was rejected by my parents and friends.. I could relate a bit, and I could not get Joe in your life. I wanted you to be happy, and when I was done with my work I wanted to leave this cruel world. Wether I went to heaven or the burning hell, I wanted to leave", she said.

I stayed quiet at her honest words.

If someone told me Tasha would become this kind of person in the future, I would have thought that person was crazy. But look, she risked her life for me.

All I did was hug her. She hugged me back and I heard some silent sobs come out of her mouth.

-"Thank you Tasha.. Stay strong please, don't leave", I said.

-"I want to. This is what I want to do.", she said.

-"I know what losing a friend feels. In Little Mix, there was supposed to be a pink haired member too... But she died right infront of our eyes. She was hit by a car", I said.

-"If only I could replace her or something... If only I could be dead and she could be alive", she said.

-"What? No! What I'm telling you is that I do not want to lose a friend again", I said.

-"You mean a lot to me Jade", she said after a few seconds. She put her last pair of boots into her big suitcase and stood up.

-"Good luck Tasha, stay strong and come visit me a lot", I said.

-"I will. Take care Jade, stay beautiful", she said, tugging a piece of hair behind my ear.

She gave me a last hug and a soft kiss on the cheek, and we went down to the main lobby. Then I said my last goodbye.

-"Stay strong, promise me?", I asked.

-"Okay", she said, smiling. I could see a hint of humidness on her eyes.

-"Bye", I said.

-"Bye", she said. She ran towards a taxi that she called for earlier.

I went up the elevator again and entered my flat.

I sighed and sloppily walked towards the main room.

I saw the sunken pillows and smiled.

I walked towards the bed and cuddled with the pillow Harry sleeped on.

I slightly kissed the pillow and smelled it.

His scent was left there... I loved it so much.

-"What am I doing", I whispered to myself and laughed at my actions.

I was smelling and kissing Harry's pillow, what's wrong with me?

I giggled for a while and realized how much I missed Harry.

I sighed and picked up my phone.

I scrolled through my contacts and tected the same text to Perrie, Leigh, Jesy and my mum.

ㅡAre you free?ㅡ

I waited for a while and got some replies.

from Jesyㅡ tomorrow? xㅡ

from Perrieㅡ I'm still with my famalam!! Sorry<3ㅡ

from Leighㅡ mum's going to stay for a while... I'll visit you some day soon though xxㅡ

from Mummyㅡ Yes babygirl :)ㅡ

I dialed my mum and waited for her to answer, which didn't take so long.

-"Hi mum", I said.

-"Hello Jade, how are you?", she asked.

-"Missing Harry", I said.

-"Oh darling..", she said.

-"Would you like to come over mummy?", I asked.

-"Of course, but you need to give me your address. I'll take a taxi", she said.

-"Okay", I said. I told her the address and hung up.

I waited for a while and cleaned the house. I ordered the bed and put the blankets correctly.

I dusted everything off and spotted a pink laced thing right under the night table.

I narrowed my eyebrows and picked up what happened to be pink panties.

I remembered I had accidentally dropped them there when I had to shower in the morning. I left my clothes on the night table to wait for Harry to be done in the shower. I picked up my clothes and realized my panties weren't between them when I was done showering.

So there they were.

-"Oh my God", I laughed. I shoved it under Harry's jacket when I heard the doorbell.

I went to the door and opened it to find my beautiful mum.

-"Jade!", she happily said, hugging me and sliding her hand over my hair.

-"Hello mummy, welcome", I said, letting her in the flat.

-"Wow", she said, admiring the apartment.

I smiled proudly and let out a sigh of satisfaction.

-"I love this place, good job", she said.

-"Thank you, but give Harry some credit too", I smiled.

Harry.

Oh.

I miss him.

♥MERRY CHRISTMAS!

FELIZ NAVIDAD!

This is my gift from me to you. A chapter :)

I hope you all get great gifts and lots of love.

I'm sending each of you my best wishes for next year and the biggest hugs and kisses <3

Have a sweet day/afternoon/night!

Bye♥