He needs help

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I looked at him with wide eyes, he was huddled in the corner of the bathroom, hugging his knees as he stared at the thousands of pills that had been thrown out of their containers and lay scattered across the floor. He mumbled something low for himself while tears flowed down his cheeks, he looked insane...

"Marshall ..?" I said gently, he raised his voice a little so that I heard what he said.

"I'm gonna fucking die ... I'm gonna fucking die ..." He said over and over again without meeting my gaze, I threw my purse and sat down on my knees in front of him and stroked his cheek.

"I'm here, you're not dying ... What happened? Please talk to me ..." I said comforting, he met my gaze and his eyes were full of broken capillaries, I hadn't seen much of him this week since he had worked so much and certainly not as close as I was now. He looked exhausted. Really tired, it was obvious he hadn't slept in a long time, I looked at him comforting. "I'm here, what is it? Please tell me ..." He looked into my eyes and lifted his hands up towards me, they shook more than they did before. He couldn't stop it.

"I'm trying to stop." He said through clenched teeth, the crazy look in his eyes looked down at all the pills all over the floor hungrily.

"When was the last time you slept?" He met my gaze again as he quickly hugged his knees again, he locked his hands stuck in his arms with his grip.

"I don't know, I don't remember ..." he said, even his voice was tired and almost unrecognizable, something that told me that he had yelled ... Loudly ... Something that meant he had been out of his mind and angry, that again was my fault ...

"Why haven't you been sleeping ??"

"I can't." He said hard and squeezed his eyes shut, I put my hand on his.

"You can ---"

"NO, ALEX !! I'M NOT ABLE TO FUCKING SLEEP, AIGH'T ?!" I just looked at him without even flinching, I had expected an outburst in the mood he was in now ...

"Why?" He looked up and met my gaze, he pointed out the pills with a trembling hand.

"Because I need those to sleep.." He looked into my eyes, he was completely exhausted ... Tears streamed down his cheeks, his trembling hands grabbed my sweater and pulled me towards him, his eyes were desperate for sleep and so was he. "I was 2 hours away from dying! I almost died!" He let go of my sweater and looked at the pills on the floor with big eyes, even more tears squeezed out of his blue eyes. "Haillie, Alaina and Whitney would be growing up without a dad, like me ..." His voice was crushed, broken, I had known him for so long, yet I didn't recognize his voice. I looked at him with a crushed look in my eyes. "2 hours later and they would've been at my funeral instead ... I can't sleep !! THIS IS ALL I THINK ABOUT !!" He looked at me with big eyes. "I WALK AROUND AND THINK ABOUT HOW CLOSE I FUCKING WAS, I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE OF IT AND IF I WANT TO SLEEP, I GOTTA HAVE THOSE PILLS !!" I shook my head and grabbed his shoulders.

"No, you don't need pills to sleep, Marshall. You had a problem, you thought you needed them to sleep!" I said seriously.

"I have a problem, but I need them to sleep! It's not a fucking joke, I need them! That's why I can't sleep !!" I shook my head with tears in my eyes, the worst part is that he actually believed what he said.

"No, you don't ..." I squeaked. "Did you take any pills?"

"No! I've tried to be sober for 1 week, but I took some last night and even so, I couldn't sleep! I took 5 valium and 2 Vicodin, a little dose just to sleep. But I was too scared of ... Of not waking up if I did fall asleep..." I looked into his eyes and got a nauseous feeling throughout me, his eyes crushed me inside and made me physically ill. I bleated and threw up in the toilet, tears still flowed down my cheek when I flushed and turned toward him.

"You told me you were going to rehab after filming the music video." I said seriously, I felt a little better after vomiting. He met my gaze.

"I'm supposed to be there today ..." he muttered with a squeaky voice. I nodded and stood up.

"We're going there now." I said seriously, he got big eyes and shook his head.

"They'll put me in a room alone! I can only have visits once a day for 30 minutes! I'll go crazy in there !! What if I can't write shit! What if ---" I shushed him.

"We'll agree to something, go pack okay? I'll visit you every day." He looked down at his hands. "Do it for your daughters, Marshall. You know a child needs their dad more than anyone ..." He squeezed his fists together and let a tear fall. "They need you ... I need you ..." He met my gaze and nodded, I helped him up.

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We drove up to Lincoln Rehabilitiation Center and parked right outside, Marshall shook his legs and had his shaking hands in his pockets. I looked over at him and put my hand on his knee, he met my gaze anxious.

"Think about it this way ... You can come back to the spotlight like a new person, a person everyone can look up to. You got through the evil cycle and made it out alive. You can help others with their problems by solving your own, show the world how strong you are. I'm proud of you already..." I smiled at him easily, he sighed and nodded gently.

"What if I don't ..." He stopped and sighed to himself.

"You'll make it, I believe in you." I got another nauseous feeling again and swallowed hard, he met my eyes when he saw it. "Let's go, I'll be right behind you. Every step of the way ..." I smiled, he was checking me with his eyes, I hid my nauseous feeling for him and smiled at him. He nodded and pulled the hood over his head hesitantly before he opened the door slowly. I stepped out of the car on my side and took his bag from the trunk, he looked at the building with his hands in his pockets. I closed the trunk and walked over to him, I put the bag on the ground and brought my hands around him from behind, leaned my head against his back and listened to his heartbeat ...

"You promise to visit everyday..?" He said quietly, I smiled.

"I promise ... You want Kim to bring the girls sometimes too?" He took a big breath and looked down at the ground.

"Not at first ... I don't want them to see I'm ... Like this ..." he murmured, I let go around him and took his hand in mine, he looked up and met my gaze.

"I understand, I love you." I said and kissed him quickly, he looked at me quietly and picked up the bag. I squeezed his hand in mine. "You ready to get sober, Eminem?" He chuckled briefly and looked at the building again with a sigh.

"Eminem sober ... That's new ..." he murmured and squeezed my hand in his as we walked into the building ...

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See? Nothing to worry about! But... There's an easter egg for what's gonna happen later in this chapter... What do you think it is? :)

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