My hopeless dream...

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I woke up with his arms around me and pictures from the night before rushing through my head. I turned to him and stroked my hand over his cheek, his lips were parted and his eyelids covered his blue eyes while I listened to his breathing with a grin.

"Whiteboy ..." I whispered, his left eye twitched when I put my hand on his cheek and his eyes opened. "I have to go ..." I said quietly, his eyes looked at me sad before he sat up in bed and put his arm around me.

"I don't want you to ..." He said and kissed my forehead as I lay in the crook of his arm, I kissed his chest gently. "I'm never gonna forget these images. This moment ...." I looked up and met his gaze and kissed him on the lips gently.

"Me neither ..." I said and kissed him again until I sat up in bed and began to dress myselg. I put on my underwear before I put on my pants and top. Marshall sat up in bed on the opposite side and started to get dressed too. I put on my heels and turned to his back facing me, he held his temples.

"This is it, huh ..." He said, I felt I got a lump in my throat once again on the fact that his voice trembled. "See you at the wedding tomorrow ..." I felt a tear running down my cheek as he stood up and I saw his eyes went cold, he hid his feelings for me. "I'm sorry, but I don't want to make this any harder." He said, staring at me, not like Marshall, but the person the world knew him as. Cold and emotionless.

"I get it ..." I smiled and showed him the middle finger gently while I got up and backed toward the door. He showed me his finger back and let it fall quickly before he ran over to me and pulled me up to him in a hug.

"I can't fucking do it ..." he said with a trembling voice, I put my arms around him sad and nodded into his shoulder.

"I have to go ..." I said and let go around him, tears gushed from my eyes like waterfalls when I saw his eyes, he was crushed. There was no life or hope in his eyes as I turned around and walked away ...

I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be ... So long my luckless romance ...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I walked in through the door to the hotel room that I and Brian had lived in since we heard about Marshall's overdose. I closed the door behind me and locked the door when I was turned around and pushed against the wall. I got big eyes and looked into the eyes of Brian.

"Where the hell have you been ?!" He screamed through clenched teeth. I looked at him with big eyes and tried to twist myself out of his grip, iwhich cause him to push me against the wall harder with furious eyes. "You were with him weren't you !? WEREN'T YOU !?" He screamed and let go around my wrists when I looked at him with a frightened look, cause I was. I've never seen Brian angry !!! He's scary !! "You were with him !!" He threw a gossip magazine in front of me, I saw the picture of me as I walke into Marshall's house, and another picture when I walked out today ...

"No! No, I wasn't !! I was --- AAAH !!!" He slapped his hand over my cheek, I held over my cheek with big eyes.

"Don't you fucking lie to me !!" He screamed, I looked at him with wide eyes and nodded tearfully. "WERE YOU !?"

"Y-yes ..." I sobbed forward, he slapped my cheek again as I fell down on the floor and looked up at him terrified.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU !!!!" He screamed, he lifted me off the floor and pushed me against the wall again. "I USED A TON OF MONEY ON THIS WEDDING AND ON YOU AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME !! ??"

"I-I!!"

"DON'T TALK BACK TO ME !!" I held my mouth closed while tears rolled down my cheek. "You and I are getting married tomorrow. And you're gonna marry me, I do not want a divorce because my wife cheated on me with some trash from Detroit!" I got big eyes.

"HE'S NOT TRASH --- AH!" He pulled me up by my neck and pushed me up to the door.

"You're never gonna see him again after the wedding, is that understood !? NEVER! I don't want him breathing the same air as you ever again! Understood !?" I nodded tearfully, he let go around my neck and nodded to me. "You're going to listen to me, you're not gonna talk to him, you're not gonna look at him or anything tomorrow !! YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY FORM OF CONTACT WITH HIM !!" He took the car keys from the cabinet and met my gaze. "I'm going out to get my mind straight. You stay here." He said warningly, I nodded and looked after him as he walked out the door and he slammed it behind him.

I collapsed on the floor crying ... My cheek were hurting and my neck felt as if it constantly pursed together and squeezed the air out of me ... Just as he had done. I stood up and waddled into the bathroom, I looked myself in the mirror.

I had a big red mark on my cheek and hand marks on my neck ... I brought my fingers over my neck and jerked of the touch... I looked at myself in the mirror, makeup was running down my cheeks along with the tears as I looked at the marks become more and more visible ...


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