Ahsoka One Shots

The World Got A Little More Dim Tonight (Citadel Aftermath), Part 2

So because that last one was wicked angsty (and I'm basically known for hurt/comfort and fluff), I'm redeeming myself with this piece that I'm tacking onto the end. Because I'm too weak for hurt no comfort :P

We're going for some major brother/sister and father/daughter vibes here. I'm seriously so horrified this sounds romantic, I'm sorry if my writing sucks sometimes haha

And yes, this is like my third update today. I'M BORED, OKAY, I AIN'T ABOUT TO PRE-WRITE THESE TO PUBLISH LATER

Enjoy!

Ahsoka breathed in the morning air.

It was cold through her nostrils, but the frigid temperature didn't quite reach the rest of her fiery body.

She began picking at the torn skin again. This was definitely not okay and she knew it, but just the feeling of the grime against her skin was too much, and a shower would be too much, everything was too much for her too numb body.

Her flesh burnt. As it should, she thought. Maybe if it burnt she wouldn't feel so disgusting. Then again, she'd said the same thing about the cold nighttime air earlier. She didn't sense her master's presence (a sure sign she was very, very out of it) approaching until he laid a hand over hers, the one covering her shoulder as she tore through her flesh. She pulled it away and the sudden movement caused sharp threads of pain to weave through her skin.

"Ahsoka," Anakin started, concerned. He inspected her arm and shoulder from a far so he could find a place to set his hand. "I told you, you need to stop this, you're really hurting yourself."

She nodded, thankful that where he laid his hand didn't sting. "I know." She looked slightly towards him, but didn't dare meet his eyes. "But it's hard." Ahsoka wanted out. She didn't need this right now- She needed this one day to be over so she could finish whatever numb grief she was going through and move on with her life. She had a war to fight, and her master worrying for her wouldn't help. "Please leave me alone," she puled quietly. (look at me, using fancy people words) 

He did quite the opposite. Anakin sat down beside her, one leg laying on the ground with the other bent so he could rest an arm on his knee. He knew her. Togruta were social species, and isolation led to bad things, especially for Ahsoka. She needed him even when she thought she wanted to be alone.

"C'mere," He coaxed, taking the hand on her arm and placing it gently on her arm, rubbing circles with his thumb. She clearly hadn't showered since coming back. She leaned ever so slightly into his touch, a good sign. Anakin wrapped her up in his arms, cradling her small body practically underneath his own. For the first time since their (well, originally his) mission, Ahsoka let down her shields enough for him to understand what she was feeling- mostly grief with a heavy overlay of numbness and exhaustion. 

"He wasn't supposed to die, master," She said quietly into his robes.

He nodded against her head, rubbing her back as he continued trying to calm her down. "I know, Snips." It was moments like these when he debated telling the council to go kriff themselves when it came to sending the Jedi to war. Peacekeepers were never supposed to deal with this much grief, and not at such an age.

When he pulled her away a few minutes later, it was only to gauge her reaction- and decide whether or not to take care of the torn flesh on her shoulders now or wait until she was more composed. Ahsoka looked him in the eye for the first time since he discovered her here out in the gardens. Her own were hazy, glazed over, ultimately numb where there should have been a spark of some sort. "Master?" He nodded encouragingly. "I'm exhausted," She admitted quietly. "I don't like this."

Never before has Ahsoka seemed more like a child to him.

"I get it. I don't like it either, little one." He kept a hand on her at all times, either her back or the untorn portion of her arm. "Let's get you cleaned up, and then we'll see what we can do about sleep, okay?" She nodded.

Numb wasn't a good look on her, Anakin decided. Too compliant. Too sickly. But he pushed the thought away and helped her rise to her feet.

Ahsoka was silent as her master applied bacta to her horrific shoulders (after insisting that she take a quick enough shower to rub some of the dirt off her. It wasn't as horrible as she thought it'd be, in fact, if the water stayed cold enough she barely felt it at all). The whole apartment was too silent, and so he did what he very rarely did anymore. He began humming a song his mother used to sing him, a lullaby of sorts that he had sung to Ahsoka on occasion. She began humming along a few lines in, a good sign, one that he took gratefully.

When he was finished he urged her into clean clothes, settled her in bed, and began speaking softly. "Doesn't getting cleaned up feel better?" He asked gently. She nodded and answered with a hum. "Think you can sleep?" He silently added the on your own part in case she either wouldn't fall asleep while she was alone, or wouldn't be able to at all. She thought about it for a moment, eventually shaking her head. 

"Can I have a sleep suggestion?" She asked timidly. Everything she'd done recently had been timid. Another thing that scared her master.

Anakin nodded and brushed a hand over her temple. She purred lightly in response, waiting patiently, ready to finally sleep. A soft nudge against her mind, growing ever more insistent, and her eyes closed and her body became heavy. In a moment she was sleeping peacefully and dreamless.

She didn't say outright that she wanted him to stay, but Anakin did anyway. He supposed she wouldn't want to wake up alone. So he shut her bedroom window, grabbed his pillow from his bedroom, and settled himself on the floor. He could use the sleep too.

Eyyy I redeemed my right as a hurt/comfort writer.

I was really proud of my angsty-ness in the last one but I couldn't go to sleep without writing a more fluffy ending. Well, hurt/comfort fluffy, so really quite painful fluffy. Whatever.

Have a good night/day/whatever and I'll see you when I see you :)

                                                                                                        -AB