Ahsoka One Shots

Touch Starved

I've done a chapter like this before, and I'm doing it again, sue me.

Also, this ended up being kinda Anakin-centric?? It's freaking me out haha, sorry

Enjoy :)

She showed affection with touch. Always had, always would.

Ahsoka Tano was practically attached to all her creche masters as a youngling, anyone who got close to her knew that hugging, hand holding, and any other sort of physical touch was normal. She was a social species, a pack species if you wanted to go that far. It just made sense that she was so touchy-feely. She was Ahsoka, and Ahsoka showed affection physically.

Anakin Skywalker... Didn't. She understood this, maybe it was his background as a slave, or maybe he just didn't like hugs. But either way, she got used to it after a while. She made up for it with others, often hugging Barriss, Master Plo, the clones, even Master Kenobi when the situation arose.

Every time her master put an arm around her shoulder her heart skipped a beat. Every time he gave her so much as a high five, it felt like he had just given her an hour long hug. Somehow he didn't notice this, even after not being on the receiving end of a hug from her for months, when so many others were. It was only when she came to him in the middle of the night, force signature distressed and unsure, did he think to hug her.

Ahsoka had dragged herself out of bed, exhausted but sleepless, too afraid of the nightmares that had plagued her the last two nights to get any sort of sleep. She knocked on the doorframe, the metal door already slid open. Anakin turned from his place on the floor where he was tinkering with some mechanical doo-dad. "Snips?"

She tensed slightly, likely regretting her decision. "Can I come in?"

"Ya, ya of course," He assured with an outstretched arm. Anakin stood, settling on the edge of his bed where he led Ahsoka to. She complied while still clutching at her sides for some kind of comfort. A sort of self-hug. "Why are you up so late?" He asked softly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Ahsoka didn't answer, only leaning into his side in an act of bravery, praying he wouldn't be too uncomfortable or push her away. Quite the opposite, in fact. Her master took it in stride and held her in a hug.

They stayed like that, silent, comfortable, together, for nearly a minute before either spoke. "I've been having nightmares."

Anakin tensed. He prayed they weren't like his own, violent, thrashing, screaming nightmares like he'd been having since he was a child. Maybe it was just his own strong harmony with the force but he found that Jedi always seemed to have not just nightmares, but dreams in general, much worse than others. "How bad are they?" He asked, hoping she wouldn't answer anything too bad.

"Not horrible." Anakin sighed softly in relief. "But I've been having them the last couple nights, and... I don't know, I just can't sleep tonight." Ahsoka was still snuggled into his side, simply enjoying his warmth. Both physical and in the force. He seemed to notice, because Anakin wrapped his own force signature a little tighter around his Padawan, hugging her tightly to ward off whatever nightmares were there previously. "Thanks," She finally said.

"For what?"

"For letting me sit here for a while, and for comforting me. You don't... You don't hug me much. You give good hugs, you know." Anakin chuckled.

"I guess I don't really hug you, do I?" He asked, rubbing up and down her arm as they spoke. Now they weren't in such a tightly knit hug, but Anakin still had an arm around her shoulder, and Ahsoka was still leaning into his side. She was the perfect size for it, he noticed.

"Not really." Ahsoka began playing with a stray thread on the edge of her oversized t-shirt. The one she'd hastily thrown over her sport's bra before coming to find her master. "You should, it's nice."

He hadn't really noticed, until then, how little he hugged her. Or touched her at all, really. He supposed it must be because she's not only a girl (which some people would consider weird as it is), but they're master and Padawan. Teacher and student. By all accounts, they shouldn't be nearly as attached as they are, and hugging would do no good to rid them of that attachment. It was then that Anakin told himself he needed to make a point of not only hugging her, but talking to her more, complimenting her in her work as a Padawan, and overall being there for her. He must have done something right if she went to him tonight, but he knew he could be better. Attachment rules can go rot in a sarlac pit.

Not just a teacher, not just a master, but maybe a little more of a big brother (or a father, he thought to himself). She could use it, especially during the war. "I will, I promise." They sat again in silence for a little while. Neither particularly wanted to talk, but Anakin could tell that Ahsoka wasn't getting tired. He'd hoped sitting like this might lull her to sleep, but it did nothing of the sort; she was calm but not tired. "What were the nightmares about?" He asked, hoping to coax whatever fear was left out of her.

"Felucia."

Oh.

He should have known it'd be Felucia. An experience of the sort could make a man crazy, and someone so young being captured and hunted like prey, she wasn't going to come out of that without a few mental bruises. He prodded their bond as a silent urge to continue.

"Sometimes it's about when the Trandoshans were actually hunting me, like when one of them had me in a chokehold. Other times it's about when Kalifa died." Kalifa, that was the girl she had talked about in her report, Anakin remembered. "I think I remember her, when we were younglings. She was in my junior clan. I don't remember much, but I think we would have been friends."

Silence fell. Anakin attempted to dig a little deeper into his bond with Ahsoka but all he found were tightened mental shields. "You know her death wasn't your fault, right?" Ahsoka nodded. He wasn't convinced in the slightest. "There's nothing you could have done, I read the report."

"But I could have, master. I could have been faster, I could have pushed her out of the way, there were a hundred things I could have done and I didn't," Ahsoka spat. "If I had just been more perceptive maybe I would have seen the shot coming."

Anakin sighed, laying a hand on her other shoulder and turning his Padawan to face him. "Ahsoka, I'm not trying to be Obi-Wan here," She had to chuckle at his remark. "But it was the will of the force. You needed to survive. You got the rest of those younglings out, even if that was at the cost of Kalifa's life. Please don't feel guilty about something that wasn't meant to be."

Ahsoka took a breath, still looking him in the eye. "I understand." She faltered. "Doesn't mean it's easy."

Her master chuckled, leaning back into their original position, shoulder to shoulder. "No, it isn't. But it's true." Ahsoka was suddenly very grateful Anakin was her master. Not many other Jedi would sit with their Padawans in the middle of the night to talk about nightmares. Most would send her off with the advice to meditate on them. Maybe talking about them was all she needed, her eyes were already getting heavy. "Let's get you back to bed," Anakin told her as he saw the tiredness in her posture.

She nodded, letting him lift her off the bed and onto her feet. He kept a firm arm around her shoulder for the walk across the hall and to her own bedroom, never faltering, never letting go. If touch was what she needed, he'd give it.

Anakin settled her in her bed, wrapping the covers tightly around her small form, cutting the lights, and sending her off with a goodnight and a sleep suggestion.

Ahsoka didn't dream that night. Maybe it was talking about it, or maybe it was pure exhaustion. More likely though, it was Anakin, sending away nightmares before they reached her. One more sleepless night was no harm, after all. Not when it meant Ahsoka would be at peace.

Hope you enjoyed! Like I said before, I've done one (or two? I don't even know anymore) chapter(s) like this before, but it's still a favorite subject to read and I wanted to write another.

I hope you treat yourself today, and you don't stress too much about tomorrow.

                                                                                                       -AB