Ahsoka One Shots

Human

I have a long day and really I shouldn't even be writing rn haha

Enjoy :)

She wasn't human. She knew this.

She also knew what this meant for her. She'd be treated differently, she'd be mocked, insulted, she knew all of this was going to happen. Especially in a time of war.

But when someone had to physically hand her her Padawan beads- not braid, beads- it took all that she had to keep from crying. Sometimes she hated those silka beads, reminding her that no matter what she did she'd never be human. Anakin never really told her to her face that he didn't want her as a Padawan, but she sure felt like he did. He didn't even want a Padawan in the first place. Now he was stuck with not only a Padawan, but a teenage, female, Togruta Padawan. She wasn't even human. Ahsoka was the first female in their lineage even. One might think it inspiring, but she only found it intimidating.

It was one night, early on in her apprenticeship that Anakin found her in her bedroom, holding her beads, looking (and feeling, through the force) conflicted. He knocked before entering through the already half opened door. "Snips?"

She lifted her head from the one hand propping it up, going to face her recently appointed master. "Hey Master," She started, gripping the beads tighter.

Anakin hesitated, slowly moving to sit at her desk chair. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Ya, why?"

"You feel conflicted. Stormy."

She returned her focus on the beads, rubbing a fingertip over each one and feeling where each edge and curve sat. Ahsoka fought with herself. Maybe if she just asked, he'd admit that he didn't want her. It could all be over, she'd be sent back to the senior youngling dorms, maybe even to the Agri-Corps. Either way, she'd get it all over with. On the other hand, he hadn't gotten rid of her yet, there was still hope! She could work harder, make him proud, maybe her species and gender wouldn't matter as much.

But no matter what she did, she couldn't change the fact that her beads would never be a braid. She'd never be as strong, emotionless, perfect, as the rest of her lineage. She'd always be less.

Ahsoka spoke softly. "I'm not human." Anakin's force signature spiked with concern before it was covered by his shields. "And I'm a girl."

Anakin moved from his place at the desk to her bed, where she still sat. "What do you mean?" Now it wasn't only his force signature concerned, but his furrowed brow showed it on his face. 

"I shouldn't... I shouldn't be your Padawan, basically your entire lineage is human males. You shouldn't have kept me."

He softened slightly, sadly, but softened. Taking the beads from her hand, Anakin motioned for her to turn her head so he could clip them back onto her headdress. "Ahsoka, just because you have Padawan beads and not a braid doesn't mean I don't want you," He told her, clipping the top bead back on with a sharp snapping noise. "And being a girl changes nothing. I want you because you're you. I want Snips. Ahsoka Tano, my amazing, confident, spunky Padawan."

Although somewhat comforted, she wasn't settled. "But you didn't want me."

Anakin sighed. "It's true, I didn't. I didn't think I'd ever take a Padawan, but then you waltzed into my life, and you were too good to say no to," Anakin told her as she fidgeted with her necklace, her hands lacking the silka beads previously there. "I want you, I don't care about your species, I don't care that you're a girl. I want you."

Ahsoka gulped back tears. "You promise?"

"I promise," He responded, taking her hand. After a few moments of silence, Anakin decided to add to the conversation again. "You know, I felt similar when Obi-Wan took me as his Padawan." Ahsoka perked. Her master had never told her about his past, anything she knew was either rumors from the creche or off-hand comments from master Kenobi. "He took me when his master died."

"Master Jinn?" She asked. Anakin nodded.

"Qui-Gon was going to take me. It was his dying wish that I was trained, and I always thought that Obi-Wan had to take me." He sighed, taking Ahsoka's hand in his own and stroking her knuckles. "But he assured me, that he wouldn't have taken me if he didn't want to. At first he felt like he needed to, but somehow he came to like me," Anakin joked. Ahsoka chuckled as he continued. "I might not have wanted you when you were given to me, but I want you now."

The two sat in silence to help digest what each had said.

Anakin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Well, unfortunately he could, but it didn't mean he liked it. Ahsoka thought she shouldn't be his Padawan! He... Probably could have acted more gracefully when she'd met him on Christophsis, but he wanted her now, and wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Certainly wouldn't send her back.

Did she experience some sort of discrimination? Was he offending her and he didn't even know it? What sort of things should he be doing to accommodate? There were too many things to think about, and he just prayed to the force that he wasn't screwing up too badly already.

Ahsoka had known Anakin came to the temple late. He was the Chosen One, the Hero With No Fear, he was bound to have rumors spreading around the temple. That was one of the ones she knew was true- she'd seen him when he first came to the temple, when she was young. At least she knew he faced similar stuff as a kid.

Wait, what was she thinking? He was a white, human male, he was nothing but privileged. But he did come from Tatooine. Rumors said he was a slave. She couldn't really complain, he knew what he was talking about, and she should be grateful for his empathy. At least now she knew he really did want her, no matter what she told herself, he wouldn't send her back. She'd stay on as his Padawan for the years to come, and she'd graduate to a knight with him. He promised he'd stay.

He might not have wanted her, but now she was here to stay.

SO.

I told y'all I'd rant about my brothers moving out

I have an amazing relationship with both of my older brothers, so these three days are really hard on me. My brother got married on Sunday, and my other brother is leaving for an internship today. Both of them are being ripped away from me in three kriffing days and it hurts.

I'm gonna copy and paste the text I sent my friend last night instead, because I'm too lazy to rewrite the whole thing, and I might cry if I tried to 🙃

I had most of Sunday okay, almost cried when they actually got married but other than that I was chill until I got home
Then all I wanted to do was sleep, and I was trying not to cry the entire car ride back
Mostly a stress thing, but basically loosing [brother] is gonna be really really hard
I'm scared to not have him coming home every night. He could do whatever during the day, I might not see him for a full week, but I knew he always came home and slept in his bed, and that was enough
I'm never going to get that again
It's not like he has some big dangerous job or something, he's literally fifteen minutes away, but I still feel like I'm loosing my big brother.
He's always been there, and now he's not.
[second brother] is leaving for a summer internship an hour away, literally today
And I'll be loosing both of my big brothers in two days
I won't be seeing [second brother] for most, if not the entire summer, and I don't know what he's doing. He's going to a four year college this next year, which means I likely won't see him until then, or even after if the school's far away
I've had so many years with my brothers and I feel like they're being ripped from me so fast.
I didn't think it'd be this hard, y'know
I feel like crap, and I had to cry it out (silently, I may add) after I got back from the wedding at ten thirty
It's just the fact that they're gone, I won't be waking up to [first brother] asleep on the couch because [second brother] accidentally locked him out of their bedroom.
[second brother] won't spend half an hour explaining a math theory I don't understand.
[first brother] won't play guitar with me, or tell me how an old song goes.
They're just my friends now
They aren't with me
They can't just be there when I need them

That's it. I said goodbye to [second brother] before work today and it was really hard. I feel like it wasn't enough of a goodbye.

Now that I'm done being emotional, have a good day/night/whatever and I'll see you when I see you :)

                                          -AB