Ahsoka One Shots

Liability

So I'm wildly afraid I've already done one (or more for all I know) exactly like this, but I'm too lazy to go search for it and I'm sorry if it is.

Enjoy this chapter whether I've done it before or not. Ik it's been in the back of my mind for a while so I really do think I've done this before. Sorry 😬

Also I pre-wrote this like a week ago and it's a good thing I did, bc I haven't written anything in three days haha XD

Enjoy :)

She was not chosen.

She knew this.

Ahsoka knew that no matter how accepted she was now (loved, a voice deep down whispers), she would always be the Padawan that no one wanted, when the rest of her clan was chosen and she was left to be put as the oldest in the clan below her until she was to become a Padawan.

It wasn't like she looked out of place, she was as short as she was spiteful, fitting in nicely with the younger initiates. But there were still whispers of the younger ones. Failure, some said. unwanted, untalented, unworthy.

Their whispers meant nothing, she told herself. They were just some dumb kids who had nothing better to gossip about. She told herself that- but not an ounce of her being believed it. So when she was given a master (and the Chosen One, of all Jedi), all she ever did was better herself, because she refused to be pegged as useless. A failure. Unworthy, or untalented.

She would not burden him with her existence, and she would not be a liability.

She would be the greatest Jedi commander she could be. She would be a good Padawan, following instruction and learning to be independent, afraid everything she did was wrong but also afraid that not being confident and outgoing would cost her her apprenticeship. So here she was, hoping and praying this campaign would be over soon so she could sleep again.

She snapped to attention at Anakin's voice. "Ahsoka?"

She nodded. "Yes, Master?"

"Go get some sleep," He prodded. "All that's left is cleanup, and you took my watch last night. I'm not about to have you pass out on me on the transport home." Anakin smiled knowingly. She hadn't slept in a couple days, but it's nothing she hadn't done before. She could do cleanup, then sleep when they got back to the Resolute.

Ahsoka shook her head slightly. "It's alright, I can take a nap later. Cleanup won't be bad."

Anakin gave her that 'I'm about to pull rank on you for being self-destructive' look, the one most commonly used on Fives or Echo when Rex caught them doing something dumb. "We can handle it, Snips. Go sleep."

"Really, I-"

"No room for argument." Anakin laid a hand on her shoulder, guiding her towards a nearby tent. She sighed.

"Master, I'll be fine, I don't need sleep right now. You've probably been awake longer than I have, I know you didn't sleep when I took watch," She argued, despite his previous comment. "I can pull my own weight."

Anakin seemed confused. "Pull your weight? What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know, I can take care of myself. I don't need to be coddled. Well, not exactly coddled," She began rambling, hoping to avoid anything confrontational. "Point is, I can help with cleanup. I'll sleep later."

Her master didn't seem to process the rest of her sentence, going straight back to her original statement. He had that look that told Ahsoka he was about to do some emotional digging. "Why do you feel like you have to pull your weight?"

"Well, I'm a commander."

"That doesn't answer my question." Either the sleep deprivation was getting to her, or Ahsoka was becoming irritated.

"I can take care of myself, and I don't need to be a burden to you, that's all. Just let me do cleanup and I can-" She was cut short my Anakin's insistent, but still low, voice.

"Ahsoka, you are not a burden to me." He led her into the tent she was supposed to be sleeping in to continue their conversation away from prying eyes and ears. "Don't ever think that you are."

Well, whether it was the sleep deprivation or just her master hitting a nerve, Ahsoka had to fight back the wave of emotions that threatened to leak through her shields. Doubt, bitterness, and determination, among the hints of sadness and grief. "But you didn't want me," She admitted quietly, still looking him in the eye. "Or need me. I refuse to be a liability."

If Anakin wasn't saddened before, he was now. Shattered, was more like it, watching his Padawan being afraid to take care of herself because she refused to be a burden. "Ahsoka, you will never be a liability. I chose you, and I'm keeping you."

"But you didn't choose me, the council chose me, for you. I was a failure, you know, the last of my clan to be picked. And I wasn't even kriffing picked!" Ahsoka stopped briefly to catch her breath. "I was assigned to you, and you didn't want me. You took me because the council assigned you to me. I will earn my place beside you. I am not going to burden you, and I am not going to make you regret taking me."

Well, her determination would have made pride swell in his chest, but the overarching meaning of everything was too much for him. Anakin looked her in the eye, forcing her to listen. If she was anything like him, gentle suggestions wouldn't suffice, no, she had to be told straight up, raw, shove it down her throat if she was going to listen.

"You do not have to earn your place, Ahsoka. I am so proud of you as you are, and denying your own needs is not going to help you. I need you to go to sleep, because I care about you and I want you to be healthy. I chose you in the end, and I will never regret taking you." Ahsoka seemed somewhat phased, her eyes softening and her lips parting from the thin line they were in previously.

She seemed to falter. "You promise?"

"Kriff Ahsoka, yes I promise." He pulled her into a hug that she reluctantly accepted. When they broke apart, she wiped violently at her eyes before a tear could spill over the edge. "Now if you don't get in that cot and sleep I am knocking you out with a lightsaber hilt to the skull, got it?" Ahsoka gave a watery laugh.

"Got it." As an afterthought before he left the tent completely, she added, "Thank you. For reminding me."

He nodded with a small smile, and returned to the chaos of the 501st outside her door.

Have a good night/day/whatever and I'll see you when I see you :)

                                                                                                              -AB