You and Sam sat in the lobby of the police station as you waited for Bucky to be released.
"Y/n, Sam. I've heard a lot about you. I'm Dr. Raynor. I'm James's therapist." She said and you shook her hand after Sam.
"It's nice to meet you." You said with a polite smile.
"Thank you for getting him out." Sam added.
"That was not me." She corrected and you looked at her confused.
"Christina." You looked over and saw John Walker still in full gear taking pictures. "It's great to see you again." He said.
"You gotta be kidding me. You know him?" Sam whispered as you rolled your eyes.
"Yeah, we did some field ops back in the day." She replied with a slight chuckle.
"I heard you were working with Bucky, so I thought I'd step in. Bucky's not gonna be following a strict schedule any longer." John said walking up.
"We haven't finished our work. Who authorized this"?" She asked.
He pointed to himself and chuckled. "He's too valuable of an asset to have tied up. Just do whatever you got to do with him, then send him off to me. Got some unfinished business, him and I. You too, Wilson." He then looked to you and winked before turning around, "L/n. I'll be outside."
You looked behind you and saw Bucky was leaning on the counter around officers. You crossed your arms and he looked at you with a stone face.
"James, condition of your release, session now. You too, y/n and Sam." Dr. Raynor demanded.
"That's okay. We'll be out here..." Sam tried to say.
"That wasn't a request." She said. Bucky followed her slowly and you and Sam followed after.
You were waking through the hallway and looked down to see your therapist coming your way.
"Shit." You whispered and Bucky looked at you confused.
"Well, it's good to finally see you, y/n. Been a while." She said walking up.
"Hey, Sandy. Sorry, I've been busy." You half lied with a fake smile.
"Yeah, I bet you have. Thanks to Dr. Raynor, she reached out after she got the call from Walker." She fake smiled also. "You must be Bucky, I've heard a lot about you." She said and shook his hand.
"Nope, no you have not. What happened to doctor patient confidentiality?" You said.
She gave you a look and so did Bucky, "Have I heard of Sam?" She asked sarcastically.
You nodded, "Yeah, you've heard of him." You said with a smirk.
She rolled her eyes as she shook his hand too. "Is it okay if I take her for a few before you get started?" She asked Dr. Raynor.
"Oh, I have no say in this." You said with a fake laugh.
"Not after dissing my calls for the past five months." She said with a fake smile and you mocked her.
"No problem." Dr. Raynor said.
"Let's go." Sandy said and you groaned following her.
"Since when have you gone to a therapist?" Bucky asked as you passed him.
"Since when do you care, Barnes?" You asked back sarcastically.
"Oh, great. So now I can't care?" He yelled after you.
"Yeah, you lost that privilege." You said and flipped him off as you followed Sandy into a room.
You sat down in the chair across from her at the table and slouched down. "So, we have a lot to talk about." She said.
"I don't really feel like talking." You said crossing your arms.
She looked at you then looked down to your wrists and sighed, you looked down and pulled your sleeve back to where she couldn't see it. "Just because you hide it doesn't mean I didn't see it." She said. "When did you start doing it again?" She asked.
You sighed and started to tear up, "I stopped after our appointment for a few weeks. Then I started having nightmares again, after, Westview, and I couldn't help it." You said and wiped a tear that had fallen quickly.
"Are they the same nightmares you were having about Tony and Natasha?" She asked.
"Sometimes, but mostly about my biological mother." You answered.
"What triggered those nightmares." She asked genuinely.
"When I was in the Hex there was this witch who was trying to take mine and Wanda's powers. She wanted to see the origin of my powers and unlocked a memory I didn't know I had of my mothers death. I watched her die and I did nothing." You started tearing up again and tried to compose yourself.
"Y/n, you were obviously to young to even understand what was going on. When you were brought to the other universe you were barely a toddler." She explained.
"But I had my powers, I was able to get away from the people hunting me and my parents. I could have stopped it if I just..." you started getting more upset.
"You were only a baby, you can't take blame for that. You can't take blame for any of there deaths." She insisted. You wiped away the tears that fell and looked at your lap playing with your fingers. "Did anything else happen in the Hex?" She asked.
"Um, yeah. It's a bit unbelievable though." You said.
"Well, you're from a different universe and have amazing super powers, I think I can deal with a little bit more unbelievable." She said with a smile.
You sighed, "My sister was there."
"Wait what?" She asked dumbfounded.
"Yeah, Jasmine, she was there with her three kids. I have no idea if she was real or if the witch made her or if Wanda made her to make me happy, but yeah, she was there. And she remembered me." You reminisced.
"You haven't looked her up?" She asked gently.
"No, I'm too scared. If I found out she's here I'm gonna want to see her again and the only reason she did remember me was because of the Hex. I'd rather remember her with her kids, how they knew me immediately." You smiled sadly and let more tears fall. "Next topic please." You asked wiping your face.
"All right, how has this mission been, how's Bucky?" She asked.
You looked at with a raised eyebrow and an unimpressive face, "Any other topic."
"No, come on. We have to talk about this." She insisted. "Have you talked to him?"
"No. And I don't really want to." You said crossing your arms over your chest. "He's moved on."
"How do you mean?" She asked confused.
"I saw him on a date a few days ago. And at my favorite sushi place. What a shame." You explained trying to joke about it.
"That doesn't mean he's moved on. You know better than anyone dating isn't moving on, it's just a distraction." She said and you looked up at her with big eyes knowing she was right but not wanting to admit it. "Pietro called to see if you came in the other day. He still worries, have you ever..."
"Once and it was a mistake, it was the night before we found out about the hex. We were drunk and it truly didn't mean anything. He's actually got a girlfriend now, she's super sweet, they make the perfect combination." You said with a smile.
"Have you tried dating again?" She asked.
"Yes and no. Sometimes when I'm around Europe a few guys catch my eye but it's really just to flirt." You said.
She looked at you with a sad smile. "It's okay that your not over him. You kept him close even when he was gone for five years, it's gonna take some time."
"I should absolutely hate him, he broke my heart, I just don't understand how people can get over it so quickly, how he's moving on basically after six months of the relationship we use to have back in Wakanda. I had to wait for five years just to loose him again. To loose almost everyone I love." You said sadly and started tearing up again but you tried to compose yourself.
"Maybe he broke his own heart too." She said and you looked at her with furrowed eyebrows and wiped your tears. "Sometimes, we push away the people we love, so we don't end up hurting them." She said. You looked away in deep thought.
^^^
You walked into the room the boys were in and sighed. "Y/n, perfect timing. Take a seat." Dr. Raynor said. You took the seat between the two and she opened up her journal. "So... Who would like to start?" She asked.
"All right, look, Dr. Raynor?" Sam asked and she nodded. "I get it, why you want me to talk to Freaky Magoo and Wiggly Woo over here. But I'm 100% fine." He said and you rolled your eyes at the nickname.
"It is my job to make sure that you're okay. And so, yeah, this may be slightly unprofessional, but it's the only way that I can see if you're getting over whatever's eating at you." She explained to Bucky.
"This is ridiculous." Sam said.
"I second that." You said.
"Yeah. I agree." Bucky said.
"See? Making progress already." She said. "So, who wants to go first?" She asked and it was silent. "No volunteers? Wow. How surprising. Okay. We're going to do an exercise. It's something I use with couples when they are trying to figure out what kind of life they wanna build together." She said.
"Too late for that." You said and Bucky looked at you with a stone face and you kept your eyes straight.
"Are you familiar with the miracle question?" She asked.
You all spoke at the same time.
"Absolutely not." Bucky said.
"Of course not." Sam said.
"What's that?" You asked.
"Okay, it goes like this. Suppose that while you're sleeping, a miracle occurs. When you wake up, what is something that you would like to see that would make your life better?" She explained.
"In my miracle, he would, he would talk less." Bucky said pointing to Sam.
"Exactly what I was gonna say. Isn't that ironic?" Sam said back and Bucky just nodded with a fake smile.
"You guys are leaving me with no choice. It's time for the soul gazing exercise." She said.
"I like this better." Bucky said.
"Oh, God. He's gonna love this." Sam said.
"Yep, I'm ready." Bucky said
"This is right up your alley." Sam said.
"Turn around. Face each other. Y/n just scoot your chair back slightly." She said and you did so.
"You should really enjoy this." Sam said.
"I'm going to." Bucky said with a chuckle.
"I know you are." Sam said back.
"Yeah." Bucky said.
"Oh my gosh you guys are such children." You grumbled.
"Face each other." She said again.
"Let's do it. Let's stare." Bucky said.
"Get close." She said.
"This is a good exercise. Thanks, Doc." Bucky said sarcastically as they got closer.
"All right, good. All right, get close." And they nudged forward almost your touching your knees. "Come on, a little closer." She said.
Bucky motioned to his legs and so did Sam. "Which way you want to go? Right or left?" He asked.
"Why're your legs open?" Sam asked.
"Christ sake." You said and pushed yourself closer and put your legs between them with each leg resting on the others knee. "You happy now?" You asked sarcastically.
"That's a little close." Bucky said.
"Very, but it's what you wanted, right?" You asked annoyed.
"Guys. Good. Now look at each other. You need to look at each other in the eyes. Y/n, just pick whoever." She said. You decided to just stare and your fingers until someone spoke. "There you see? That's wasn't so hard." She said.
You looked up at the two men and looked back and forth between them and shook your head. "Wait, what are you doing? Are you having a staring contest?" She asked. Sam started straining his eyes.
"Just blink." She said snapping her fingers between the two. "Sweet Jesus. All right, James, why does Sam aggravate you?" She asked and he looked at her with a smirk. "And don't say something childish."
He sighed and looked at Sam, "Why did you give up that shield?" He asked.
"Why are you making such a big deal out of something that has nothing to do with you?" Sam asked already annoyed.
"Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is... that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing." Bucky said.
"Shut up." Sam said.
"So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me." Bucky said sitting up in his chair and his voice wavered a bit at the end.
Your heart broke and your eyes started to tear up so you looked away. He sat back in his chair and Sam started at him, "You finished?" Sam asked.
"Yeah." Bucky said.
"All right, good. Maybe this is something you or Steve will never understand. But can you accept that I did what I thought was right? Y/n has." Sam said and Bucky looked down biting his lip. Sam scoffed "You know what, Doc? I don't have time for this. We have some real serious shit going on. So how about this? I will squash it right now. We go deal with that, and when we're done, we both can go on separate, long vacations and never see each other again." Sam said.
"I like that." Bucky whispered.
"Great. Well, let's get to work. You too obviously have more to talk about." He pointed between you and Bucky. "Thanks, Doc, for making it weird. I feel much better. I'll see you outside." He said and hit Bucky on the arm and you moved your legs while he got up and headed out of the door.
"Thank you." She called to him. "That was really great. Now, this has a little more work to be done." She said to the two of you as the door closed.
"I think this is fine, we can leave it there." You said and started getting up from your chair.
"I can call Dr. Jones in here, sit back down." She warned and you did as she said. "Get in front of each other."
You sighed and got into Sam's seat and slid closer just to where your knees barely touched. "Come on closer. You know how this goes." She said. You both sighed and went closer, you put both of your legs between his.
"Look at each other." You looked up from your lap and bit your lip anxiously and started playing with your ring. "Who wants to go first?" She asked.
"Why didn't you tell me you went to therapy?" He asked without hesitation.
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, "Really? That's your first question?" You asked and he looked at you with a stone face. "Why do you care?"
"Because I can, now answer the question." He said without any emotion.
You shook your head, "No, you don't get to care anymore, Barnes. You left me!" Your voice quivered and you sat up in your chair. You crossed your arms and slouched back down again and he just stared at you, you couldn't read his emotions not even with your powers.
"I did it for your own good." He said bluntly.
"Jesus, my own good? Bucky, I lost..." you paused, "I lost five and a half years ago, along with the rest of the world." You said scrunching your face angrily and tears started to burn your eyes.
"Why did you start going to therapy?" He asked again not breaking.
You looked up to the ceiling annoyed. "Oh my God."
"Just answer the question." He said sternly.
"Because of you." You said looking up and closing your eyes.
"What?" He asked and you looked him in the eye and his face changed slightly.
"Because you were gone and I couldn't do it without you." Your voice broke and you let a tear fall. "Pietro found me on the ground in a pool of my own blood, drunk out of my mind. He helped me and made me start going to therapy the next day." You wiped the tear from your cheek and looked down and your fingers.
"Pietro." Bucky said and you looked up, "You guys got close." He recognized.
"Yeah, well everyone else either was dead or is dead now so." You said and sucked your lip. "Tony, Nat, Steve, Dead. You, Bruce, Clint, Thor, Wanda, Pietro, Gone. I guess there's not much to fight for now." You said looking at him with a cold face. He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at you and you stared back.
He looked at you trying to keep his composure. Dr. Raynor spoke up, "Y/n, do you have anything to ask?"
You thought for a second still looking for him a took a semi deep breath. "No." You said with the breath out.
"I'm sorry." He said and you shrugged with sad upside down smile.
"I'm done. It was good to meet you Dr. Raynor." You said as politely as you could and kicked your chair back and walked out of the room.
Bucky sat in the chair staring at yours deep in thought. "If she knew how you really felt, she wouldn't be in so much pain. I know that you still love her, I saw all the text drafts in your phone." Dr. Raynor said.
"She deserves better. I'll hurt her either way." He said and got up.
"I know that look. What's wrong?" She asked.
He turned back around, "What was rule number two again?" He asked.
"Don't hurt anyone." She said.
He stared at her for a moment, "Goodbye, Doc." He said and walked out of the door.
^^^
"We'll, I feel better." Sam said.
"I feel awful." Bucky said.
"And I feel hungry let's..." you were interrupted by the sound of sirens and you all looked over to see Walker and Lemar leaning on a patrol car.
"Gentlemen, lady." He greeted and you rolled your eyes as you all walked up to them. "Good to see you again." He said and you walked over to the car he was leaning on and leaned on the other end. "Look, if we divide ourselves, we don't stand a chance, you guys know that." John said.
Bucky came up beside you and protectively put an arm on the car behind you. "So what do you got?" Sam asked.
"Well, the leaders name is Karli Morgenthau." John said and you looked at him with furrowed brows knowing who she was from your volunteer time. "We've been targeting civilians who've been helping Karli move from place to place." John stated.
"They geotagged a location, then scrambled the signal. But our satellites have found their symbol popping up in various displaced communities all across Central and Eastern Europe." Lemar explained.
"We think she's taking medicine she just stole to one of these camps." John said.
"Well, there are hundreds of those all over the planet since The Blip. So I guess you'll have to look real hard." Bucky sassed.
"Good thing I have 20/20 vision, huh?" John joked.
"Where is she now, Walker? Do you know?" Bucky asked unamused.
"No, we don't know, Bucky. It's only a matter of time before we find out." he said raising his voice and you squinted your eyes at him.
"Things are really intense for you, aren't they, Walker?" Bucky asked and you had to hold in a giggle with a smirk.
"Take it easy. Look, Walker's right. It is imperative that we find them and stop them." Sam interrupted and stepped closer. You got up from your spot and so did Bucky. "But you guys have rules of engagement and all kind of authorizations you have to get. We're free agents. We're more flexible. So it wouldn't make sense for us to work with you." Sam said and you started walking away following Bucky and Sam was close behind.
"A word of advice, then." John said and you all stopped and looked at him. "Stay the hell out of my way." He said
"Are you fucking serious right now?" You whispered and started walking back to him but Bucky grabbed your waist and swung you in front of him. "Hey." You said and looked at him with furrowed brows.
He motioned for you to walk, "Come on, he's not worth it." He said and you huffed and turned around walking up the street.
"I know who she is. Karli." You stated and they looked at you surprised. "I volunteer at various displacement camps I even organize some with Pepper. I met her while I was over there. She's just a kid, but I have no idea how she would have gotten the serum." You stated still confused.
You walked down the road between the two men and your stomach grumbled.
"So what are you thinking?" Sam asked Bucky.
"Well, I know what we have to do. When Isaiah said 'my people' ..." Bucky started.
"Oh, don't take that to heart. That's not what he meant." Sam said.
"No, he meant Hydra. Hydra use to be my people." Bucky said.
Sam scoffed, "Not a chance."
"Walker doesn't have any leads. At least we might hurt have a way to get to her with y/n, but we need to know more about the serum." Bucky said.
"What's happening?" You asked.
"I know where you're going with this, no." Sam said.
"He knows all of Hydra's secrets. Don't you remember Siberia?" Bucky asked.
Your eyes went wide, "Don't you remember Siberia?" You asked dumbfounded.
"So you're just gonna go sit in a room with this guy?" Sam asked.
Bucky hesitated, "Yes." He said annoyed.
"Bucky, that's crazy. He's gonna mess with your head." You said.
"Okay, then. We're gonna go see Zemo." Sam said and you all stopped walking.
"Am I the only sane person here?" You asked.
"Y/n, there's no other way." Bucky pleaded and you looked him in the eye.
You sighed, "Fine. But you're buying me dinner first." You said angrily and kept walking.