Mr. Bieber's Chauffeur {BxB} ~ Book 1

Chauffeur ~ Chapter 84

Narrator P.O.V

"King Kong?"

A few minutes passed by and Jason hasn't replied to Justin's greeting. He was just staring into space, letting his wrist bleed, letting his body get soaked by the pouring rain. It wasn't until Jason registered what Justin greeted him with that his heart started hammering against his chest.

King Kong?

"Stop" Jason said lowly "Stop!" He yelled in the phone making Justin hiss on the other side of the phone as he took it off his ear for a second.

"What's wrong?" Justin asked confused as to why Jason was yelling at him.

"You. You are what's wrong" Jason cried "Stop calling me King Kong. Stop pretending that you remember me. Stop acting like you care. Just, overall stop it. It's not hurting you because you don't remember, but it's killing me because I'm the one left behind with all those memories. I'm the one left behind with everything that you can't remember. I'm the one left to die with it" By the end of his speech, Jason was breathless and his eyes were burning with hot tears.

"What memories? What are you talking about, King Kong?"

"Don't call me that!" Jason yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Geez, okay, Jason. Can you help me understand then? Because I am not like this because I want to be. I am like this because no one wants to put me in the clear. Every time I bring it up, my mom says with time I will remember. Scooter doesn't come for more than two minutes because he doesn't want to be the one to tell me all the stuff I can't remember. My dad hasn't come around and I supposedly have siblings.

Don't you think I want to remember, Kin-- Jason? Don't you think I want to know what we were? If we were anything at all? Don't you think I want to remember all the millions of fans I apparently have worrying over me? Don't you think I want to remember what my life was before there was nothing left of it? Not even memories. Exactly, you don't know what I'm going through because you're so caught up in your own self-hatred and pity that you can't see past your nose. You can't see that I'm hurting just like or even more than you" Justin spat making Jason's mouth shut at a lost of worst.

"And what about you?" Jason finally spoke after the both of them sat quietly as they both breathed heavily

"Do you know what is it like to fall in love with someone who only wants gets with you because they want to forget someone else? Do you know what is it like to almost lose your mom because of the lifestyle you choose? Do you know what is it like to leave everything you built for yourself behind in hopes of providing your family the living they deserve? Do you know what is it like losing your brother to multiple gunshots? Do you know what is it like to grow up without a father because you drove him away the moment you were born? Do you know what is it to finally fall in love again, have the best moments of your life, finally about to be a father only to have it ripped away from your very fingertips?

Do you know what is it like when everything is ripped from you without any warning? Do you, Justin? Do you fucking know what is it like to live in the dark because of the fear of getting killed every single day of your life? Do you motherfucking know what is it like to watch the love of your life go on and you can't do shit about it? Fucking tell me, Justin. Do you fucking know?!"

"I--- I know what is it like to grow up without a father"

"No you don't. You fucking don't because Jeremy was there for you ever since you were little"

"You were about to be a father?" That question made Jason close his eyes tightly as he choked on his sobs.

"And finally... Do you know how fucking bad this hurts? Do you know how many times a day my heart pulls at my chest every damn time my mind reminds of what can never happen a second time in my life?"

"If you, instead of making me pound for answers I will never get inside of my head come out and say it how it is maybe, just maybe, I will understand what is going on but everybody is leaving me in the dark. Including you, Jason. You more than anyone is leaving me behind. In the dark"

Those two sentences made Jason's brain go back to that night in the train station. Where he left Justin behind, in the darkness causing him to fall in the railroad.

"It all started when I wanted a job to provide my mom with clean money..." Just like that, with that sentence, Jason told Justin where it all began with the two of them. He didn't leave one detail behind because he wanted to get it out of his chest, and not only that. He wanted to relive those memories that once upon a time made him so happy.

Their first time doing something crazy.

Their first bold move.

Their first kiss.

Their first touch.

Their first time.

Their first reckless move.

Their many stolen kisses.

Their first interview together.

Their public announcement.

Their hidden affairs.

The laughter.

But with everything that is good, obviously comes something bad because in this world, you cannot just have something good without something bad. It's like a well balanced plate. Even if you just want a plate full of rice and chicken only, you know you can't have it without a side of veggies if you want to stay healthy. And just like that, you cannot have something good without a side of bad. Even if you don't want it. That is why Jason took it upon himself to also relive the bad.

Their first fight.

Their first time getting caught.

Their first time running from the other gang.

The bullets they both received.

The hate.

The firing guns.

The falls.

The tears. Every single one of them.

The persecution.

The scares.

And even if he didn't want to put the next one in this category he had to, because he knew it was a mistake that shouldn't have taken place. Nobody knows how that loss made him the most miserable man on this earth. He had no doubt it was a blessing and a curse.

Their baby.

As soon as Jason stopped talking, he heard a sound on the other line that he didn't want to hear at all. It made him cry to the skies. It made him feel even more alone than he already was if that was even possible. He didn't know he could feel worst than he was already feeling but it only took Justin doing that for him to realize that yes, shit could and will get worst and he could feel more lonely than he already was.

Justin hung up on Jason.

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Oh SHIET.... why would Justin do that? What happened? Was the baby really a curse? From who? Who is going to die next? Is Jason finally going to pull the trigger? Keep cutting? Overdose? Drink more? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Find out on the next episode of: Elisandra Will Fuck My Emotions Up!

~ Eli