Mr. Bieber's Chauffeur {BxB} ~ Book 1

Chauffeur ~ Chapter 19

Jason P.O.V

"I won a Grammy, I won my first Grammy!" I rolled my eyes as I closed the door.

Don't get me wrong, I was happy for him and his win but he won't shut the fuck up about it. Not going to lie and say I wasn't proud of him because I was pretty damn proud. He got his first Grammy just like Michael Jackson did back in his time.

"Again, congratulations," I said already unfazed with his overjoyed attitude. Was my wish for him to calm down too much? Did it become real? Because suddenly he stopped chanting that he won and took a seat on the couch. Furrowing my brows, I walked over and took a seat next to him, "what's wrong, damsel?" I asked softly.

"Nothing," he said looking at the TV that was off, right then and there I knew he was just trying to avoid the question.

"Do you really want to play this game with me?" I asked.

"Nothing's wrong," he repeated making me sigh and turn my upper body to him. Holding his chin with thumb and pointer, I turned his face towards me and gave him a sharp look.

"What's wrong?" I repeated. He looked at me for a moment before sighing in defeat.

"I wish my mom was here to witness me winning the Grammy," he whispered, "I mean, I'm sure she saw me on TV but I would've rather have her there, being proud of me instead of disappointed in the poor decisions I have made as a young adult," he said. Turning his face more towards me, I forced him to look me in the eyes.

"I'm sure she is not disappointed in you. Maybe when you first were an idiot but she is just probably sad that you haven't tried to make amends with her," he stared at me with the saddest eyes.

"It's not that I don't want to apologize to her, because I do. I just, I don't know how to do it. I feel like I have disappointed her in so many ways and I feel like she probably thinks everything she has done for me has been in vain. That she doesn't matter anymore, but she does. There are times, days even, where I think of nothing but her, you know?" He mumbled, "the usual questions. Is she okay? Does she hate me much? How disappointed is she on me? Will she ever forgive me?"

"I'm not your mother but I'm pretty sure I can answer those for her," I said still holding his chin, my thumb caressing it softly as we spoke.

"What would the answers be?" He questioned like a little kid asking if Santa is real and waiting for the heartbreaking answer.

"Your mom is okay, why wouldn't she be? The world is not over and she is a very lovable woman. She doesn't hate you. Your logic is so irrelevant, she is your mother. She might have been disappointed in you before, way disappointed but that doesn't mean she is now. She is most likely really proud of you. Especially now that you won your first Grammy at such a young age. As for your last question, she has already forgiven you. Trust me, she is just waiting for you to wake up and realize that."

"Realize what?"

"That she is your mother and mothers do not hold grudges, Damsel. She loves you. She is your mother for a reason. If you make a mistake, she is supposed to be there for you. If you feel down, she is supposed to be there to cheer you up. But where is she going to be when you keep pushing her away?" I didn't give him time to reply, "When you were a kid and you fell down, weren't she the one to help you get up and heal the cut? Put a bandaid on it and everything?"

"I guess so."

"She had you at a young age-"

"Which at times is why I feel guilty. I took her teenage years away from her. I kidnapped her from being a normal teenage girl and I prevented her from going to parties with her friends and from having more than one relationship."