Mr. Bieber's Chauffeur {BxB} ~ Book 1

Chauffeur ~ Chapter 9

"What about disrespect on public decisions?" he questioned.

"That type of disrespect is based on who I decide to hang out with and what I decide to post. I decide to hang out with my friend Pierce now all of the sudden she is a slut, and they literally assume that without even knowing her a day in their lives. I on the other hand have six months of friendship with her and I'm still getting to know her myself. I hang out with Maywheather and post some pictures of a few stacks and all of the sudden I'm becoming vain and Floyd is changing me," as I let all that baggage off of my shoulders, I felt as light as a feather.

"How about your posts?"

"As you may know, growing up my mom and I barely had money to buy and eat food. Most of my clothes were hand downs which is why they were so big on me so to this day, years later, I'm still very grateful for all that I got and how far I have come, at times I reflect back to everything that has happened to me and I feel astounded. So to post a picture of my jet or sport cars to me is not bragging, is thanking but people don't get that, they just start scolding me on how I'm just showing off, how arrogant I'm becoming, and how I'm throwing everything I have in their faces"

"I see bu-" he started but I wasn't done yet.

"And then again, I can't even have a throwback," I said interrupting him.

"What do you mean?" he questioned.

"I post a picture of me back in 2013 calling it a throwback, right? back in those times my friends used to call me Bizzle, it was just a crazy nickname that came from I don't know where and I kind of liked it so I changed it on my Shots account at the time. Around that time I was acting different, much like a jerk but it was not the fame getting to my head, it was just my way of dealing with how hurt I was. People were always saying I was out of control, that I was losing my mind and that I needed rehab, but they weren't seeing past my tough act," I said pinching my nose.

"Your tough act?"

"Those were the times where Selena and I were hurting each other the most. We would constantly fight and break up more times than we could count. She would think something wrong of me and in efforts of me trying to defend myself, I turned it into a fight. Same thing with her and when she was trying to defend herself. We would break up and a couple of months later we would contact each other in hopes of getting back together, but that was just turning out to be toxic, we were hurting each other way too much. In those months we had in between of getting back together, I was trying to heal my broken heart and sadly it wasn't in the best or healthiest way"

"In what way were you two toxic?" while some might think Jason was prying or diving too deep I on the other side felt relieved, I didn't feel like he was intruding in my personal life at all, as a matter of fact it felt immensely therapeutic.

"We cheated on each other, we tried to make one another jealous one too many times. We got into physical fights but I didn't have it in me to be violent with her in that way, that's not how I treat or view women. However, we took some of those fights outside and we were caught mutually yelling which is never good, it's at that point where you start thinking 'man, this is going from bad to worse' and to you, it doesn't have a way of being fixed anymore but you still keep going back because that person feels familiar to you"

"Going back to the Bizzle topic, what do you think that was all about? what led people to call you that in the first place? And why that time frame is known as 'the Bizzle era'?"

"I used to dress like a white kid that wanted to be black, that's what it seemed like to the public eye anyways. You know with the saggy pants, oversized clothes, jewelry by tons like I was a rapper, shades on at night and inside enclosed places, shirtless most of the time, and just trying to show myself off as someone I was not, but at that time that was just my style. People go through different phases, and different styles, and that just happened to be mine. Now I have outgrown that phase but every time I do anything like that I'm getting called Bizzle, as if that's a whole different person and I'm just impersonating them," and to think that has bothered me for so long.

"I don't know if you ever stopped to think that by people saying you're acting like an alter personality or ego, in this case Bizzle, they are basically implying that you have a personality disorder and that's a serious illness seeing how it's related to subconscious harmful activities. If they are making it seem like sometimes you have this Bizzle personality and then suddenly you become Justin again, you can get locked up against your will in a psychiatric facility as you are deemed unsafe to the public and yourself. Take the movie Split as an example," he explained.

"So, you're basically saying that people have unknowingly been saying that I have a personality disorder when they say I'm acting like Bizzle?" I asked stars truck.

"Yes exactly," he confirmed.

"So on top of everything else, people have been calling me crazy." I chuckled humorless.

"In a none offensive way, yes. People with personality disorders are not crazy, they just hallucinate and that causes them to think they are someone else. However, they are deemed crazy when they start acting out on those personalities, meaning that at some point in time they stop thinking they are that person and start believing it," he informed as we reached the lake.

"Like me?" I asked incredulously.

"You were just infatuated with the black culture and that caused you to act like you belonged there, the nickname your black friends gave you not helping. You're not crazy, and you sure as hell don't have a personality disorder Damsel," he smiled at me.

"How do you know they were black?" I asked.

"Because around that time you were hanging out with Khalil, Twist, Za, the Migos, Drake, Swae lee, shall I keep going?" he listed off casually as if he didn't sound creepy at all recalling my friends list.

"How do you know that?" he looked at me as if I was insane or uneducated.

"Because you're famous Justin, the fact that I make you feel normal doesn't mean that suddenly your fame vanished," he said with a knowing smirk.

"You do make me feel normal," I whispered.

"I'm glad I do Alien," he laughed. Rolling my eyes, I looked up at him to see the side of his face.

"You're really fucking smart, you should've chosen that Psychology career," I commented.

"Maybe in another lifetime Damsel", he said as he stared at the lake we reached about five minutes ago. Looking at the view myself, I sighed.

It felt like a massive weight has been lifted off of my chest and I could finally breathe properly again. Who would've thought it would all be thanks to Jason.

My chauffeur.