26.1: Out of the Closet

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AUGUST

My heart just melted like a butter dropped on a hot steaming pan. Hearing Ambrose spill some of the truth that has been bottled up inside of him was completely heart wrenching in the most pitiful way. I know that his mother hated him because he already told me that a few weeks ago, but the things that came out after that was really a twist that I wasn't expecting at all. I'm still trying to let the things that I've heard from Ambrose sink inside of my head. It was hard to hear him spit the words out and I didn't think it was this hard to let it settle down too.

I have never met anyone from Ambrose's family before. I only saw the few members on the painting but that painting was a decade old. Still, I was actually looking forward to seeing them in person. I have yet to meet his famous father who have donated a lot of things at this town. I have yet to meet his mother who hated him. However, after what I've just learned from Ambrose, things just changed. Now that he told me they aren't his real parents, things are going a bit bizarre for me.

I have a few thoughts looming inside my head but I don't think it's right for me to just interrupt him as he let everything out of his chest. I can only imagine all sorts of heavy emotions that are hovering inside of him right now. I zipped my mouth and just let him cry his feelings all out on my chest.

As I was slowly continuing to rub Ambrose's back, I just thought that this sharing of secrets thingy was a good idea, not for me but for him. I know that he has lot of things going on inside of him and it's about time for him to release all of those before it could even build up to something unimaginable. I've seen it behind those gorgeous hazel eyes that he's been keeping all of this bullshit inside of him. And that's not because he wants to keep them all bottled up inside but because he doesn't really have someone to tell them to. He doesn't have someone whom he trusts with his heart that they had just piled up one after the other.

I know Phil was Ambrose's best friend. Everybody obviously knows that, however, now that I've had a bit of information, that might not be the case anymore. I can only guess if Ambrose had outgrown Phil that they don't share secrets anymore. Ambrose doesn't even talk that much about Phil or even the people who's in his gang.

In the short period of time, I have gone back and forth with the decision of coming out to him and I was somehow scared of Ambrose's reaction. I suggested that we should turn our backs on each other as we tell our secrets and that's all because I'm not ready for what's about to come my way. It's turns out that this thing wasn't about me. I was surprised that it's a lot easier for me to come out of the closet to him but I didn't know that was not even going to be the highlight of this night. The reality was Ambrose had a lot of heavy loads to unload and I was more than glad that I'm here to hear them all out.

"I'm so sorry," Ambrose huffed out the moment he decides that he's done crying his heart out. I felt my shirt was a bit wet from the tears that have fallen from his eyes but that's not even something that I have to worry about. His voice sounded clogged but that's because of the tears that made his nose clogged.

"You feeling alright now?" I asked trying to get a feel of him. I wanted to let him know that I am here for him and if there's a lot of things that he needed to release, I'm still going to be here for him.

"I do. Thank you for being here with me." He replied staring at my eyes and even with the tears still edging on his eyes, I saw right through him. I saw how he was thankful about me and it only made my heart jump out of joy.

I was exactly right when I thought there's a lot more of Ambrose than what everyone thinks of him. I greatly despised him during the first time that I've had contact with him because everything that they had told me about him ended up being correct. They told me he was the biggest bully and it perfectly showed when he bullied Jessie for the money. They told me he's the top dog of the entire high school and he was leading this group of bullies. They told me he was this violent type of person and it's ended up being true when he first sent me to the school clinic. We had gone through a lot of fist fights even up until earlier this afternoon. But all of that was just outside the walls that he'd built to protect himself. All of that was just a product of someone who's been hurting from the lack of love and all kinds of supports from his parents. All of that was just a product of being unseen and unheard. He's an asshole, let's give him that but I see parts of him, little parts that are good. I might be the only person who sees this but I can truly see a whole room for change.

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