Dancing In His Storm [BxB] √

24.4: Dancing into the Storm

AUGUST

It was just a three-word phrase but it was more than enough to reverberate throughout my head. I'm starting to feel giddy but I have to keep my cool. I don't even think I felt this crazy when Rachel said the same exact phrase to me. That one was pretty obvious and that's because I don't really love her. I like her as a person, as a strong woman, as the way she was but I never really felt love in terms of romance for her. In spite all of that, Ambrose uttered the words with such burning emotion that I've never seen of him ever since I came here at Mary Heights. The words were loud and resonating that I instantly connected with it. My world was just losing control a few moments ago all because of him but the moment he spat that phrase, it transformed to a brighter one. A better world filled with rainbows and butterflies. It seems that the storm had passed by and I'm glad it did.

Ambrose and I were still standing at the river holding each other. It might look cliché or cheesy but we are both feeling the moment. He was still holding my cheeks and I held his both of his hand like I'm not ready to let go. Both of our forehead and nose were still glued and I noticed Ambrose closed his eyes. That's the moment that I realized he was savoring the moment. I wasn't being keen but I observed his eyelashes and they were longer than mine. I could feel his skin over mine. I could still feel his heavy breathing and although it smelled like whiskey, the warmth coming from it was very intimate.

"I'm so sorry." Ambrose breathed. "I'm so sorry that I'm acting like this. I'm sorry that I'm hurting you. I'm so sorry for being a shitty person. I'm so sorry for being a jerk. I'm so sorry for everything." He went on and on. All of the words that came out of his mouth felt rather genuine. Even when his eyes were closed, I can feel that he was speaking the words from his heart.

I thought I don't deserve all of these apologies coming from him. It's way too much for me. It's true that he hurt me, more than we both could ever count. I've already forgotten most of those times that he'd beaten the shit out of me and that's all because I saw he could change. His actions a while ago was also violent but I could feel it was coming from a dark place and that he never really wants to hurt me. I know he's been a shitty person but I am growing more intrigued to learn about why. I am a hundred percent sure that there's a huge reason behind why he was being this shitty person that he says. There's no denying the lingering fact that he's a jerk and quite frankly, a total asshole. Everyone at school recognizes that about Ambrose. That's even the first thing that I learned about him, but that doesn't mean he can't grow as a person. That doesn't mean he's going to be forever a shitty person.

"I'm so sorry too." I mouthed and I was already thinking about everything that I did.

"Ahuh." He groaned and his voice was virile enough to let me know that we are both men in pursuit of love in this cruel world.

I know I have a lot to apologize to Ambrose and he deserve all of it, every single bit of it. I know I've been stuck right in between him and Rachel but he was the one who's not getting anything from me. He's not getting attention and I would be a fool if I think that he's not getting jealous at all. It's like the song, he was standing right in the corner watching me flirt with Rachel. This was my chance to apologize and perhaps to tell him everything. "I'm sorry that I've been choosing Rachel over you." I huffed.

"Stop." Ambrose spat. "I want to hear that later." He was commanding but I'm all in my feelings and I just shut my mouth and tried saving all of my apologies for later.

"Ambrose," I called out for his name.

"Shhhh." He was snappy at shushing my mouth with his pointer finger. "Let's just stay like this for a moment." He huffed.

I was about to protest in line with the stronger breeze. The rustles of the leaves from the trees surrounding the area was growing louder. We've been standing in this position for a long time and I'm already beginning to feel the frigidness of the afternoon. I opted to keep my mouth shut and let him feel the whole of me. Ambrose's request sounded so much like he was hungry for this and I'm more than willing to give him what he wants. He ceased cupping my face and he was now hugging me. I hugged him back and the feeling was unsurprisingly comforting. I could feel my heart pumping and the same goes with Ambrose.

"Hey, buddy." I opened my mouth to speak after finally deciding that we've had enough time of this hug. I tapped his back just in case he didn't hear me speak. "I'm starting to get cold."

"Oh, I'm sorry." He ended the hug and then pulled me towards the dry ground. As he was pulling me, I was looking at him with such joy engulfing my heart. A lot of shit happened in just a short period of time but it will all lead to this. It was a rollercoaster but I am thankful that I managed to dance right into the storm. I may have been punched and kicked and pushed but I assume that was all part of the process.

"It's going to get dark soon." I uttered as I started to slip on my clothes just to feel the warmth of a dry cloth. My underwear was still wet but I slipped on my pants nonetheless.

"I missed you so much, August." Ambrose spat out of the blue. I was still putting on my button down shirt and I had to give him some attention. He was biting his nail like he's nervousness about admitting that he missed me so much.

"I know that and I missed you too." I replied smiling at him.

I've been yearning for this kind of shit since the we parted on a very bad note last Friday night. I have a lot questions to ask him and lots of explaining to do but I'm pretty sure it could wait a little bit longer. For now, I'm going to relish this moment with Ambrose. Things have really gone from this intense fight to a calm and cheeky conversation. The inner gayness inside of me was undoubtedly having the best time of his life.

I noticed some clotting wounds and bruises on both of Ambrose's knuckles and it quickly got my attention. "What happened to your hands?" I asked nonchalantly snatching his hands and checking the wounds.

"I....something happened and I just lost control of my temper." He revealed and I can feel it was something heavy. He let out a heavy sigh.

"What happened?" I asked as I moved a bit faster on putting on my clothes.

"It's a very long and complicated story."

"Tell me about it." I blurted out making my voice sound more enthusiastic and ready to listen to him. "I'm ready to hear that story even if it takes a whole week, a whole month or even a whole year. I want to hear it." I trailed and I'm pretty sure I want to listen to his story in order to learn more about Ambrose. I want to understand him. I want to know everything if I'm willing to continue dancing in his storm.

"I would love to tell you but we have to leave. The river's about to rise."

"Okay, I'm not going to say no to that."

By the time I was finished putting all of my clothes and shoes on, Ambrose pulled me closer to him. He rubbed my hair with his fist and oh boy, that felt sweet.

"Are you going to take me home?" I asked just trying to know what are his plans for today. Today's Friday anyway.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know. It's just..." I paused feeling a little bit shy. "Today's Friday and... you know."

"Then I'm going to take you home then."