17.1: The High and the Wasted

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AUGUST

I have never been disgusted by myself this much. Kissing Rachel for the nth time doesn't fail to make me feel awful at myself. The kiss was good if I was being honest but adding my true sexuality into the mix makes it unbearable. The worst thing was I have to hide my abhorrence. Playing the straight guy was exactly the opposite of what I've been watching on films. There are a lot of straight actors playing gay roles on television and they seem very much convincing. They seem to be enjoying making out with another guy.

"CHEERS!" Rachel was already screaming at the top of her lungs as we all raised our shot glass in the air. She has totally transformed into a whole new different person but I perfectly believe that's pretty normal most especially when you're under the influence of alcohol.

All four of us poured the vodka down our throat in unison. I was the first one to finish and I had to take a moment to adjust from the bitter taste. Victoria and Nicole both finished at the same time and the look on their faces was absolutely funny. No matter how pretty they were, their sour face brought out the ugliness.

The vodka seemed to have kicked inside our systems at the very same time, giving us all of this wonderful sensation that we've been yearning all week long. I can feel the heat and the adrenaline rushing throughout my veins and I am super into it. I don't want to admit this reality, but I'm starting to fall in love with the feeling of being under the magical influence of alcohol. All of the dizziness, the rise of my body heat, the rush of adrenaline and the lack inhibitions feels so good to the bones. Unlike drugs, I'm kind of glad that drinking alcohol was legal even though technically, we aren't allowed to drink because we are still minors.

My observations from the previous Friday's that we've been hanging out were all the same. The sober Victoria that I know was already hyper and energetic but when she's had a drink or two, she will become even more hyper. It was as if she's on some kind of steroids. She tied her long blonde hair into a high ponytail and she kept on whipping it off and it was distracting. The drunk Nicole seemed to be exactly the same as the sober one, except that she's having trouble walking on her heels every single damn time. She kept on tripping but I can clearly tell that she doesn't give a single crap about it. And then there's Rachel. If she's clingy when sober then she's totally aggressive when drunk. She gradually forgets the clingy part of her at some point which was a plus for me but then she's very loud and obnoxious.

"Are you having fun, babe?" Rachel asked, she was standing in front holding the microphone as she waited for the intro of the song that she picked.

"I am having so much fun," I replied.

"This song is for you," She pointed right at me. "My favorite person in the whole wide world!" She uttered as the microphone echoed sharply that it almost made us all deaf.

"Shot to the heart and you're to blame, darling you give love a ban name!" Rachel began singing and it was a total wreckage. Her energy matched the songs' high energy and she was like having a spasm in front.

If we were all still sober, we would already be writhing in a hysterical burst of laughter but we are all drunk. This is what being drunk on vodka means. She's not totally wasted but you can easily tell the level of fun that she's having. Rachel continued singing as the three of us just cheered and sang along with her.

We've been drinking for the past few hours not really being wary of the time. We are all busy having fun and living our life like there's no tomorrow. The karaoke was still on and the girls already ran out of songs to sing.

"Hey guys, Marlon's hosting a house party." Nicole suddenly trailed, her eyes were glued towards her phone. The mood inside the room suddenly upgraded from already being fun to this sudden burst of elation.

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