CHAPTER 14: Confusion or Attraction?

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AMBROSE

I don't know what went through my mind that I dragged August here to my secret spot. I have never brought anyone here before even Phil and the gang doesn't know about the existence of this beautiful place. I don't really have a plan to have a conversation with August but hearing him asking me sounded very much inviting. I also have some questions that I want to be answered and this is probably the only time that I'll get this chance.

"Why did you kiss me?" August asked out of the blue and somehow it threw me off the grid. I knew he wanted to talk to me and I haven't had the time to ask myself why did I even said yes to him in the first place. His words echoed inside my head as I felt my chest pump faster.

"I don't know." I uttered in response. I did expect this specific question to pop sometime but I was a bit surprised that it came sooner that I thought. Despite of that, I am glad that he asked me this question that I've been asking myself too.

I don't know the answer. The truth is I really don't know why I kissed him. It felt really good the first time but it did nothing but bring confusion to my already confused state of mind.

I brought myself back up in a quick jerk. "I honestly don't know what went through my mind that day." I stared above the blue sky in a dreamy manner. I was trying to relive the moment that I kissed him, somehow hoping to find the answer but the only reason that I found was the curiosity that had swept me over that day. "I have never kissed someone before." I confessed letting August know that that's my first time kissing someone.

"What? Really?" He almost gasped in shock. If I was him, I would be surprised too.

August was my first kiss and that's the reality of it. I know I'm not gay but the kiss was so good that I'm intrigued to explore that uncharted waters. "Yes. That's really my first time kissing someone." I reiterated what I just said.

"I....I'm just surprised." August was stuttering for a bit and I think I know why. He's probably just as confused as I am. This is probably new to him as well.

"Me too. I was surprised." I uttered as I continued to feel my heart race. I have never in this kind of situation before.

"I'm..." August began but then paused for a long moment. "I don't mean to judge you but I just have to ask this........"

"What?" I spat right before he continues what he was saying. I moved around and I was now facing him. August looked better today than the last time we were this close together.

The wind whipped a quick blow and I instantly felt the chills.

"Are you gay?" August spat out with probably one of the hardest questions that I've ever heard in my life. Recitations at school doesn't fail to make me nervous but this one is something that's making me crazy. The question reverberated even louder throughout my head triggering pulses that I don't recognize at all. I tried my best to look unfazed.

"I don't really know man!" I answered immediately. I am trying to be cool although I'm tremendously fazed on the inside. "I haven't really explored that part of me."

I'm not gay. That's the answer that I thought I would say but I didn't. That's what I think I know but the truth is I haven't really explored that certain world. The only gay person that I know was Jessie and that's it.

"Are you gay?" I casually volleyed the same question back to August. I'm well aware of the fact that I haven't exactly answered his question. I remembered August kissing me back when I kissed him which kept me wondering if he's gay.

"What if I was?" August spat throwing another confusing question. I don't know if he's just teasing me or there's something deeper beyond that.

I don't have anything to say to that. Both of us seemed confused and conflicted. There was a great wave of silence and I just looked at August. This is the first time that I looked at him closely without being engulfed with my wrath. The more I stare at him, the more I feel the racing inside my chest. This can't really be happening. I don't want to admit it but August looked cute.

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