Dancing In His Storm [BxB] √

21.6: The Shadows of Betrayal

AMBROSE

I woke up at nine in the morning with the sun already up above the horizon. I forgot to close the curtains last night and the bright morning light hit me right in the eyes. My eyes burned almost the instant I opened them, and while they were struggling to adjust from the brightness, I had to blindly rush towards the window just to close the curtains and bring control to the brightness. I walked back to my bed still feeling heavy and exhausted from what happened last night. I know I should be having a hangover from the alcohol that I consumed last night but the only hangover that I have right now was a mental and emotional hangover.

I laid on my bed and stared above the ceiling for quite some time. I felt like I needed the whole day in solitary and then I suddenly remembered my parents are home which had me losing some of the hope that I had. I really hated the fact that they are home quite earlier than I would've expected. I hated the fact that they just showed up out of the blue when I'm not even thinking about their presence. I'm pretty certain that I still have everything that I need. I still have some money left enough for gas and lunch for two weeks. My grocery supplies haven't dried out yet.

I might be thinking that my monthly supplies and allowance are the reason why my parents just showed up all of a sudden, but then I clearly know my dad's about to raise some hell and my mom's going to watch that hell fall on her. I don't find the joy in that but I don't have control over this debauchery and I know my family's been broken ever since I was young. This might be the only way for my mom and dad to truly find what makes them happy, even if it will leave me stranded right in the middle. They have been together for twenty years but I haven't really seen genuine happiness and contentment from either one of them. They seemed like they're just forced to marry each other against their will and it did nothing but deal so much hurt and anger in the long run.

For my doting mother, this divorce might be the freedom of her chains, she might not see it from now but it will gradually set her free. I know it's been hard for her but staying in this family won't make things easier. For my dad, this divorce might actually get us closer together than ever before. I've noticed him trying to connect with me that he even told me about the divorce firsthand. I'm more than thrilled to stay with my dad if things go to the path of options and that's not because I know my mom hates me, but because I've felt closer to my dad.

I don't want to admit it but I preferred if my dad came home with his mistress Betty instead. She's still relatively new to this mostly because she's quite younger and prettier. I know I want that energy of an enthusiastic mom wannabe rather than the crippling dark clouds brought by a doting mother. I'm not sure if I feel loved but I'm sure I'm not hated and I guess that's what I wanted. My mom might be my biological mother but she's lost that motherly title the moment she disowned me indirectly.

I felt my stomach churn in hunger and if I was alone, I would've already jumped out of the bed and ran towards the kitchen to grab something to eat. But I'm not and I'm pretty much confident that my mom's doing something at the kitchen. I'm scared to go downstairs and stumble upon my mom. She still hates me more than anything and I just don't want that kind of energy when I'm still hangover mentally and emotionally.

I let out a deep sigh. It's still quite early but I'm pretty sure my day would be very much interesting, perhaps more dramatic. I'm putting my expectations on that and brace myself from the upcoming hell.

I closed my eyes and tried to meditate until I heard my phone buzzing and was quickly followed by a short beep. I haven't even looked at it but I already know who sent me a message. It's got to be August. No one usually sends me a text message especially on a Saturday. After five minutes I couldn't resist the urge and I ended up snatching my phone and reading the text message that August sent.