21.3: The Shadows of Betrayal

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AMBROSE

My head just went numb for a fleeting moment not wanting to believe what's going on in front of me. I felt a certain pang right on my chest. I don't know what to make of the debauchery that just welcomed me.

Do I want to yell and shout and make a whole scene? Do I want to run straight towards August and grab him by the collar of his shirt? Do I want to explode?

Anger was definitely trying to grow some roots inside of me but I'm just trying to stay as calm as possible.

Rachel's eyes were closed and she looked like she's been waiting for this lustful romantic moment ever since August became her boyfriend. It's very clear to my eyes that they were doing something magical and I didn't even want to think about it. I felt my knees grow weaker and they were about crumble but I just knew I couldn't break down right now. I just knew that I wouldn't let this thing break me down to my core, even bring out the weakest part of me. I turned around and quickly walked away.

"Ambrose!" I heard August crying for my name but it wasn't enough to make me stop from walking away.

I picked up my pace right when I was walking down the stairs until I was already shoving people just to clear my path. It was hard to take in what I just saw and it's even harder when I've been waiting to have a private moment with August for the past week only to see something like that.

My chest was pumping faster and faster, not in a romantic way but in growing fuse of anger. There are a lot of negative feelings that wants to make their way inside of me and I don't know if I can fight all of them at once. I finally walked out of the house and I just let my eyes focused on the way out. My brain was insisting that I have to get lost and be alone. I don't know if that's what my heart wants but I don't think I will follow what it wants.

"Ambrose!" I heard August's voice once again but I just continued walking until I felt his hands on my shoulder.

That was the threshold of the release of my flowering rage. My reaction time was on point as I gave him a hard sucker punch throwing him on the ground.

"What was that for?" August asked acting like he's the most innocent creature in this party. He sat on the ground trying to take in the pain that I had just given him. I wanted to tell him that punch was for double crossing me but the words won't come out of my mouth. I wanted to tell him that I trusted him and that's all I get in return? I just stared at him almost gritting in rage and he just gazed above looking rather scared.

I took a quick sigh and slowly turned around. I feel like I have to step out of this situation as soon as possible before things could get even more complicated than it already was. I don't even know if he was actually double crossing me when I clearly know Rachel's his girlfriend. It quickly washed over me that I'm the number two and Rachel was still the number one. I thought I was the one that August truly wanted but things aren't really adding up to that. I felt betrayed when I saw what they were doing but then it has come to my knowledge that there was no betrayal at all. I was foolish.

I realized that I'm in a very complicated relationship. I began to regret all of the decisions that I've made for the past few weeks. I shouldn't have confessed my feelings to August in the first place. I should've just kept it all to myself and just waited if it fades out or if it will grow. If it fades out, then I'm a hundred percent confident that all of this fiasco won't be happening. If it grows bigger then that's probably the right time that I should find a way to admit my feelings to him.

The night's still young but I'm feeling rueful of coming here. I was thinking of the other decisions that I've made. I shouldn't have taken him on a few dates because those few memorable adventures that we had made me fall for him even more. I shouldn't even have fallen for him in the first place. Maybe Phil was right after all, that I was softening up, that I lost the angst that I have. Maybe he noticed how I became laid back and that made him think that I was like a marshmallow melting or something like that.

"Ambrose!" August called for my name once again but I ignored him and continued walking away.

I thought August would just let me continue to walk away and would be happy and contended with that but he grabbed my hand in an attempt to halt me. I turned around and swung my hand as hard eventually shaking his hand away.

"What the fuck do you want from me?" I inched a step near him and grabbed him by the neck. I was already choking him as I looked at him in the eye.

"I thought we had plans?" August inquired struggling to speak. He grabbed my hand with both of his hands and that's the moment I knew I'm choking him real hard. There's a moment of pity that washed right through me and I had to loosen up my grip a bit.

"Fuck you!" I spat at him. I couldn't resist myself form cursing.

"Ambrose?"

I pushed him away and he had to struggle to maintain his balance but he looked somehow determined. He walked back towards me but I met him with another punch in his stomach. Anger had already engulfed me but somehow, there's something that's limiting me from going full on rage. I made the punch a little less buffed so it won't hurt August that much.

"I'm really sorry, Ambrose! What you saw was not it." August was begging but I'm not just ready to listen to him. I grabbed his arm with my right arm and pulled him as my right hand punched him in the face. "Let me explain, please!" He wasn't trying to fight me but he was begging me to let him explain.

"There's nothing to explain!" I trailed feeling the pain starting to make a home in my chest. It was hard to feel both pain and anger at the very same time that I have to pick one to emulate. I wanted to cry my heart out but then I want to yell in anger.

I didn't even have to choose because anger, having had planted its dark roots on me, just took over me like it owned my actions. I kicked August the stomach sending him on the ground.

"August!" I heard a woman's voice and then there was Rachel yelling far away from the front porch of the house. She was struggling to run because she was wearing heels but she ran. "What the fuck are you doing, Ambrose?! You're a sick jerk!"

Rachel went on her knees the moment she got to where August was laying on the ground.

"Are you okay, babe?" Rachel was just overwhelmed with concern that she didn't care if her dress was wiping the dirt on the ground.

"Yeah, I'm fine." August replied breathing heavily as he looked at me with so much questions written behind his eyes. Rachel was looking at August's busted lips, checking it like a concerned wife.

"You're bleeding, babe." Rachel huffed eventually setting her eyesight on me. "You did this?" She screamed and stood up almost immediately.

The anger that was just controlling me suddenly faded out casually leaving me hanging in the air. Now I was feeling rather awful and sorry about what I did. I felt awful for punching and kicking August when I know he did nothing wrong. I felt sorry that I didn't have the right control.

"I'm sorry, August." I spat but it's already late for me to say that.

"Sorry? Are you even listening to yourself, Ambrose?" Rachel was already standing right in front of me and she's pissed. "What did August do for you to do that to him?"

I heard Rachel's question very clearly. She was just a few inches looking up to me. The question echoed and as much as I wanted to yell at her, I just clenched my fist and calmed myself. I wanted to yell at her and tell her she's the reason but I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do. I kept my mouth shut.

"Answer me," Rachel's voice was like a spear piecing my ears. She punched my chest with both of her knuckles but it wasn't that hard to make me flinch. It's a normal lady punch and it's not even making me budge.

"I..."

"What? Speak up you fucking asshole!" I haven't seen this side of Rachel and I'm somehow shocked that she's feisty. I understand that she was just being protective of August. It's what I'd do for him too.

"Rachel, that's enough." August blurted out as he slowly propped himself up. "Let me deal with this on my own."

"Shut up, August! I've had enough of this jerk." Rachel punched my chest once again.

I grabbed Rachel's hand with a single hand vice grip thinking that Ineeded to do this if I want to hurt August the same way he had hurt me. Icupped Rachel's face and eventually kissed her.

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