Dancing In His Storm [BxB] √

19.1: Blooming in Jealousy

AMBROSE

Thinking that my life would change and become a little bit better and a little less boring right after confessing my true feelings towards August was too much to imagine. Yes, my life became a little less boring completely because of the fact that we have to hide from the public eye just to spend our time together. But a little bit better was an ambiguous phrase and I'm still waiting for that shit to happen.

My daily routine never changed except now, there was the thrill of excitement clinging on to me like a leech. I get up in the morning and go to school, typical high school stuff. But with the addition of wanting to see August everyday made my days a lot more interesting than it was before. I'm sure we are both well aware of the reality that we kept on stealing glances right at each other and it's making us both conscious of our every move. It is a known fact that I, Ambrose Haylock, is not a person who always smiles but with the thought of someone stealing glances at me made me adapt almost in an instant. I tried smiling every once in while every time I'm aware that August's just few table away from ours. I want him to know that I'm happy that he's looking at me. I want him to know that I truly like him and that I want more of him. I don't know if the people who know me like Phil have noticed that minimal yet profound change in me but I don't give a fuck anyway.

I remembered the last time I took August at the top of the mountain overlooking the whole town of Mary Heights where we had some snack and talked about our lives in general. I had learned a few things about him and it was more than enough to launch the wrecking hammer eventually squashing my general assumption of him having a perfect life. The truth is, I have already made this well thought assumption that August have a picture perfect life that's way far different from my messy life. All of that assumption began forming during the first time that I followed him to their house and saw his happy and complete family having dinner together. I thought August have the most perfect and complete family and I still think of that until now, but I didn't know that the woman I saw at their house wasn't his biological mother. That might be the only reason why it's not as perfect as it would've been but they all seem happy and contented with each other and I'm more than envious of that. My family couldn't even gather to have a picture perfect dinner together.

I felt extremely sorry for August when he eventually revealed that his biological mother had died of cancer. I felt the hurt gritting in his tone, he's trying to keep things together but I can clearly tell he's still moving on from the loss. If that happened to my own mom, I don't know if I'm going to be sad or not. She hasn't shown enough love for me in years that I would eventually reciprocate the same amount of love when she gets sick. I wouldn't probably even give a fuck if she gets even sicker.

I leaned against the wall of our turf as I began lighting up a stick of cigarette. It's still quite early in the morning and Marlon, Phil and Leopold where making fun of this guy named Fortune. I don't know what this guy do to them that he got this kind of treatment. I just stared at them almost beginning to get annoyed.

"I said kiss my fucking shoe," Phil ordered looking down at the poor Fortune kneeling down seemingly hopeless.

"I don't want to," Fortune replied and his voice was already cracking down.

"I'm going to ask you one more time," Phil repeated. "Kiss my fucking shoe or I'll kick that pale face of yours."

"please I don't want to kiss your shoe," Fortune begged and the sound of him begging was getting inside my head.

I took a long hit and blew the smoke out into the open air. I'm just here to kill time and I just realized that I'm not even into this kind of thing anymore. We used to make fun of people here, mostly because it's fun to hear them beg and cry but now, things felt rather different.