Dancing In His Storm [BxB] √

23.2: The Storm

AMBROSE

My life just flipped big time right at the moment that I wasn't expecting it. I thought this type of bullshit only happens in movies and in dramas but it turns out that it's not that far from reality. The truth that I've just learned just clung onto me like a leech and it's taking a while for me to shake it off. Well, it's only been a few minutes since I learned it but it's looking more like a long term thing.

I stayed on the floor while hugging my knees as the scorching tears resumed to cascade down on my cheeks. I tweaked my hair in hopes of lessening the pain but it's not effective as I thought it would be. I cried for a short while and then I just thought that I have to stop this display of utter weakness. Crying on my knees isn't the Ambrose that I came to know and I just had to force myself to stop sobbing and be the big tough boy that everybody knows. Big boys don't cry. They shouldn't be.

The truth that I've just learned today was more than enough to topple my sanity and quite frankly, it's more than enough to break my soul to fragments, but I don't want to let that happen. I've already been through a lot to let this plot twist kill me from the inside out. I wiped my tears and mustered enough will and strength to move my muscles.

I don't know what I was doing but I was already taking my pajamas off eventually slipping onto my casual riding attire. I slipped on a normal plain white shirt and topped it with a leather jacket and wore a pair of jeans to finish the look. I stood in front of the mirror and gazed over my miserable face and I was quick to notice that my eyes didn't turn red from that short sobbing. I let out a heavy sigh and my chest still felt very much heavy.

"I just have to get out of here," My mind spoke like it knew that I need to get out of this house even just for the day. The energy inside of this household was just negative and suffocating even much worse than being alone. I very much knew that no matter where I go, whether it's in the kitchen, in my room or just outside the yard, the energy would still be as gloomy as fuck. I can still hear my mother's shrieking voice echoing inside my head. It's reverberating back and forth and I'm afraid that if I stay here for more than a few minutes, I would lose my sanity. Staying was not a choice for me. I need to find some place where there's fresh air and quite ironically, the company of solitary.

I grabbed my boots and slipped on it as quickly as possible. I knew I have to sneak out of here as soon as possible. I don't want my parents to catch me just because I don't think I'm ready to face them after everything that I've learned. I don't think I could face them and pretend that I know nothing. I'm not good at pretending and I'm not even good at hiding my feelings deep inside. If I feel angry, I'd be going berserk. If I feel shitty, I'd still be throwing a mad fit. Part of the reason why I have to leave was because I'm having this sense of fear that I might punch my dad or even yell at my mom for hiding this secret for over a decade. I have never punched my dad or even yelled at my mom before and I certainly don't intend to do that right when I know they still have control over me.

I don't want the demon living inside of me to take over the driver's seat and just wreak havoc. Despite of the truth bomb that I just heard, they are still my parents. I'm still a Haylock and I'm going to respect what little things they have provided to me.

I grabbed my phone and the motorcycle keys with such nonchalance and then prepared myself to move out of my room. I took a deep breath and then eventually exhaled almost tardily. In such a delicate manner, I sneaked out of my room like a burglar trying to be as invisible as possible. I passed by my parents' room and the door was now shut closed much to my luck. I don't hear the yelling and some of the other things being thrown around and I was quick to wonder what could've happened next after I ran back to my room. I was thinking about the divorce that my dad was planning for over a month.

Did he already tell my mom about it? I asked myself but I instantly shook the thought away and focused on my goal.

I moved quick but still managing to keep my footsteps as quiet as possible. By the time I was downstairs, I was already leaping until I found myself outside. I staggered towards my motorcycle and I thought I needed to move quick. I know by the time I start the engine; the motor sound would be loud enough to steal my parent's attention. I hopped right on, slipped the keys onto the ignition and at one strong twist, the engine roared like a lion inevitably making my instincts to rush. Before the noise could even grab my parent's attention, I was already out of our front yard.

By the time I reached the first house near us, I realized the fact that I don't have some place planned to go. I haven't had my breakfast yet and now I'm starting to feel famished. I forgot about my hunger a while ago and the emotion was just as effective in deceiving my hunger. However, that hunger came back like it never left. My first thought was to find something to eat and I ended up driving to the center of town to find something to eat. I bought two burgers and an iced tea before eventually finding myself at one of the benches of the town's center park.

I took the first and second bite of the burger and I suddenly noticed there are a lot of people in this park today. There are couples walking around while holding each other's hand. There are some walking their dogs. There were families too and eventually realized today's Sunday. It's family day and that's why there are a lot of people spending their quality time here. My eyes focused on this family of five. The parents and three kids that looked like they were around four to ten years old. They were having a picnic and they all seemed very much happy and quite evidently, contented with each other. I was instantly thrown inside the ruthless pits of jealousy. I don't remember my family having this kind of familial bonding. Perhaps that's because my brains had blocked that part of my memory. I know we've had some of this bonding before, most of them was when I was younger but it gradually changed until it was already nothing.

We don't spend much time together anymore. We don't strengthen our relationship as a family anymore, and I'm starting to hate myself for thinking that that's all because I'm not a biological son. The dots have finally connected and it revealed the reason why my mom just hates me so much. She did not bring me to this world. She might have bought me into this instead.

Staring at the unsuspecting family sharing genuine laughter together was just the worst for me. I felt very much alone and I am alone to be quite frank. I've always been alone in this world. It's making me sick and I decided to move to the next bench just so I won't be facing the happy and complete family that's just making me feel jealous and unloved.

I sat at the next bench and continued devouring my burger hoping that I'd be left with the mercy of peace right after I changed spot. By the time I was about to finish my second burger I saw another family who just arrived. They were all holding something, boxes, an extra-large umbrella and even a radio. My attention was caught when I saw Jessie with them and I was quick to judge that this was his family, and it was his family. Jessie had two little brothers and a sister who appeared to be a few years younger than him. They all found this empty spot that I was currently facing and they were quick to set things up. This older lady that appeared to be Jessie's mother busied herself by setting up the snacks and food right after the picnic fabric was draped on the grass. Jessie's two little brothers began playing Frisbee and I noticed Jessie was being that standoffish sort of rebellious member of the family. He doesn't seem to be enjoying what's going on and it's clearly painted on his face.

Why do I have to look at every single complete and happy family today? The question just scorched my head much to a fever that's undesirable. This was just making me feel awful no matter what angle I move my sight to. I took a sip of my iced tea and shifted my focus on my phone. I just scrolled down on my social media accounts just to pass time. I noticed the time and I still have to kill a full afternoon. It's only eleven thirty and I know I can't be sitting here at this park bench throughout the day.

After some time, I unconsciously opened my inbox and I saw August's name. I opened our thread and read the last message that he sent me. He was begging to explain his side and for a moment, I was tempted to reply.

ME: Hey,

I began typing and then I was out of words to say. I still feel like ignoring him, however this boredom's making my fingers move on its own. I stared at the screen for a while and then continued typing some words.

ME: Hey, I was wondering if we could meet today.