Dancing In His Storm [BxB] √

16.4: The One Who's Dying Inside

AMBROSE

Overkill. I guess that's how I would describe everything that has happened so far. It was wild to think that a month had already gone and passed ever since Rachel and August became a couple and they're only getting stronger. They were like the star-crossed lovers and everyone was just talking about them like they were some celebrity couple. Everyone at Mary Heights High thinks they were the hottest and the most perfect couple of all time. And I guess, if I wasn't stuck in my current situation, if things didn't happen the way they did, I would've probably agreed that they were the definition of perfect. Rachel Curtis was definitely every boy's dream, wet or not. She's sizzling hot not in the most obvious way, it's the way she carries herself, the impeccable grace and her sweetness that's making her hot. She's also smart and rich. August on the other hand, was very cute, he's not the tallest or even the most ripped guy in all of Mary Heights but he's very charismatic. I think I've heard other people having crush on him too and that's enough for me to say he's a heartthrob. If we take all of these into consideration, they might be the perfect couple but my bitter self doesn't even want to agree on that. I just think that something's off. Or maybe that's just me not being able to relate to everyone else because of the mere fact that I don't casually socialize with anyone.

Rachel and August were the talk of the town and it is quite obnoxious that my name's somehow a part of it. That's not totally surprising though. People dragged my name into the mud and I don't even have to blame them for that. After the several rejections that I got from Rachel. After blatantly showing my love and affection towards her. After all those crazy stunts that I pulled off just to ask her out. After everything, it's quite easy for everyone to formulate their own thoughts and opinions of me. I even heard some rumors that apparently, me, Ambrose Haylock, was some sort of an ambush towards August because he stole Rachel away from me. That can always be true but things are a little bit different and utterly messy for me. If was the old Ambrose, then I might probably follow August to his house and slit his throat or even ambush him along the road. But I'm not. I'm still that short fuse asshole but not towards August. Phil and the boys even believed that rumor which was utterly insane. They should be the first people to know if that rumor's true or not because they are part of my circle. They always try to open that kind of conversation every time I'm hanging out with them but I kept on ignoring them. Phil was growing itchy; he keeps on poking me to ambush August. Although he wasn't that aggressive about it, I can tell he really hates August. But for what reason? He doesn't even have something of a falling out against him. They don't even know each other. If Phil only knew what I'm feeling, not that he would understand, but he would definitely shut his effing mouth up.

My everyday became unbearable in all the levels. Going to school every single day and seeing August flirt with Rachel became this undesired nightmare that keeps on making me squirm in unending discomfort. It appeared that no one's there to pinch me. There's clearly no sign of me waking up from this bad dream. I'm dying inside every single fucking day and the worst thing was I can't do anything about it. Every time I see August sharing a laughter with Rachel, I just want to poke my eyes out of my head so I won't see them being sweet with each other.

Rachel seemed the happiest out of the two. She's normally happy with her blesse perfect life but dating August definitely made her the happiest woman in the world. If I was her, I'd be the happiest jerk in the world too.

I'm going to admit the fact that there were a few times that I thought Rachel and August won't last a month long. Then there were also times when I get home that I kneel down and pray that they would have a huge fight and they would end things. I had a lot of thoughts and wishes for them but the bottom line was that, I want them to separate. Unfortunately, none of those happened and it seems that I am getting weaker and weaker every time I see or hear them.

***

Today's Friday and I'm pretty sure August will be hanging out with his girlfriend again at that fancy karaoke bar. That has been their routine every end of the week as what I've seen from their Instaglam posts. I don't even know why I'm on that app when I don't even post photos of me.

I was walking down the hallway wearing this contented smile on my face. I rarely smile but I am kind of thankful that today's Friday. This was the first time that I felt somehow happy with the arrival of Friday. The reason behind that gratitude was the underlying fact that I don't have to see August and Rachel for a couple of days. I don't have to feel the feeling of squirming to death from the inside out. I would rather choose to not see them if I want to breathe a little bit of air.

I was walking down the hallway when Phil approached me.

"Hey buddy," Phil mumbled sneaking from behind.

"What?" I spat with such a deadpan aura as I ignored his act.

"Marlon's having a house party tonight, do you want to come?" Phil asked sounding a bit excited about the party and yet I already know my answer to that.

"Nope," I mumbled almost immediately.

"Fuck it Ambrose! Why do you always have to say no every time I invite you to have some fun?" Phil sounded upset and disappointed the instant I said nope. Part of the reason why I don't usually hang out with them when they go on parties was because I don't want to accidentally spend some cash. The last time we had a party we had to contribute for the alcohol and other stuff and I was forced to bring out a certain amount out of my pocket eventually leading me to become broke for the next few weeks.

"I just don't want to be around lots of people." I replied and this was also true.

"But we aren't just people, Ambrose. We are your fucking friends. We also want to hang out with you outside of school." Phil's voice was a little bit pointy.

"I'm good, thanks." I uttered still feeling unbothered.

"Okay," Phil said in complete defeat.

I guess he already accepted the reality that I'm not interested in his offer at all. He started skipping, moving a little bit faster away from me.

"Phil?" I yelled loud enough for him to hear it.

"I'm not listening to you, bro." He raised his hands giving me a fuck you gesture and that only cemented the fact that he's pissed.

"Fuck it!" I mumbled under my breath eventually moving on my feet so I could catch up to him. "You know what?" I held Phil by the shoulder.

"Get off me," Phil trailed shaking my hands off of his shoulder.

I let out a brief pause before eventually opening my mouth to speak. "I'm going,"

"Are you sure?" Phil turned to face me.

"Yup, I guess I need to have some fun too."

Maybe I really needed this time to have some actual fun with my friends. I am that one friend who never shows up to any of the planned parties even. Maybe this is the time to show up and let them know that I'm still willing to have some fun with them. Maybe they will provide me some sort of wild distraction in order for me to forget about August even just a for a night.