Murder Most Unladylike Groupchat

154

Husband 🤩 and Wifey 💘 are chatting privately.

Husband 🤩: How are you feeling Lucy?

Wifey 💘: Well I keep getting sharp pains in my stomach but it could just be the baby kicking 

Husband 🤩: are you sure you're OK, do you want to go to the hospital?

Wifey 💘: I don't think it's the baby kicking, I think I'm having contractions as my water just broke

Husband 🤩: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

Husband 🤩: OK, don't panic 

Wifey 💘: I'm not panicking 

Husband 🤩: I was telling myself not to panic

Wifey 💘: we should get to the hospital 

Husband 🤩: right, hospital, yeah

Wifey 💘: can you let the kids know?

Husband 🤩: of course 

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Chatting on 'Best people in this fucked up family'

Uncle Felix 😎: Lucy has gone into labour, I'm taking her to the hospital 

MrsArcady ❤: OMG 

Bertie 🌍: good luck

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: hope it goes well

MrArcay 🧳: good luck

Uncle Felix 😎: thanks, I'll keep you updated 

MrsArcady ❤: Uncle Felix, don't panic, just keep calm  

Uncle Felix 😎: thanks Hazel

MrsArcady ❤: now go get you wife to the hospital, you're about to be a father after all 

Bertie 🌍: Is it just me who's kind of scared to see uncle Felix as a dad?

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: it's not just you

MrsArcady 🧳: leave the poor man alone

Uncle Felix 😎: I'm going to be a dad...

Aunt Lucy 🔍: yes you are dear now let's get going 

MrsArcady ❤: good luck

Bertie 🌍: I love how Uncle Felix is more worried than Aunt Lucy

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: He's a man

MrArcay 🧳: ...

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Chatting on 'Fucking Idiots'

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: Aunt Lucy has gone into labour 

Little sprout 🌱: omg that's so exciting 

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: that's cool ig

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: Are you looking forward to meeting your cousin Daisy?

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: Hazel and I are extremely excited about meeting our neice 

MrsArcady ❤: I can't wait to meet my godchild

MrArcady 🧳: me neither

Bertie 🌍: I'm gonna be the best uncle ever

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherjee 🏳️‍🌈: Who would trust you with a baby?

AminaEM 💍: lmao

Bertie 🌍: I was trusted to look after Dasiy growing up

Harold 💫: And look what happened, she's fucked up in the head

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: rude

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: you know its true

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: lmao

MrsArcady ❤: 🤣🤣🤣

Little sprout 🌱: so who would be trusted with a baby?

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherjee 🏳️‍🌈: Not Alex

MrArcady 🧳: rude

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: thats true, logarms would probably drop it on the floor

AminaEM 💍: I think he'd be more trustworthy than Bertie and George 

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: that's true

Harold 💫: I'd trust Hazel with a child 

MrsArcady ❤: thank you Harold 

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherjee 🏳️‍🌈: Hazel is used to holding small things

Little sprout 🌱: like what?

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherjee 🏳️‍🌈: Alexander's duck

MrsArcady ❤: it's bigger than yours George 

MrArcady 🧳: 😏😏😏

Bertie 🌍: how do you know that 🤨

MrsArcady ❤: Girls talk

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: that we do

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: 🤮🤮🤮

AminaEM 💍: lmaooooo

Alcoholisthebestmedicine 🍷: this is hilarious 

TheDefinatelyNotGayMukherjee 🏳️‍🌈: ...

Harold 💫:  George has gone suspiciously quiet

Little sprout 🌱: ...