Murder Most Unladylike Groupchat

96

Hazelnut 💗 and Longarms 🇺🇸 are chatting privately.

Hazelnut 💗: hey Alex how are you feeling?

Longarms 🇺🇸: like my head was pounded with a brick multiple times

Hazelnut 💗: ah

Longarms 🇺🇸: I literally have no memory of the night before

Hazelnut 💗: well let us assume that you drank a lot

Longarms 🇺🇸: funny that

Hazelnut 💗: make sure you drink lots of water, take some medication then have a nap

Longarms 🇺🇸: ok

Hazelnut 💗: Do you want me to come and look after you?

Longarms 🇺🇸: it's alright

Hazelnut 💗: tough I'm coming over anyway

Longarms 🇺🇸: I love you Hazel ❤️

Hazelnut 💗: I love you too 💗

-----

Chatting in real life.

Hazelnut 💗: Uncle Felix, I'm going to take care of my fiancé

Uncle Felix 😎: probably best he drank a lot

Hazelnut 💗: see you later

-----

Chatting in real life.

Hazelnut 💗: Hello Mrs Mukherjee, may I see Alex.

Mrs Mukherjee: of course Hazel dear, please call me Parvati

Hazelnut 💗: ok Parvati 😁

Mrs Mukherjee: you know where Alexander and George sleep, go right up

Hazelnut 💗: thank you

-----

Hazelnut 💗: hey baby

Longarms 🇺🇸: hey Hazel

Hazelnut 💗: how are you feeling?

Longarms 🇺🇸: like I need to puke

Hazelnut 💗: I'll help you to the bathroom

Longarms 🇺🇸: *nearly passes out because he stood up to quickly*

Hazelnut 💗: hey slow down you don't want to make yourself pass out

Longarms 🇺🇸: *holding onto Hazel for dear life as they carefully walk to the bathroom*

Hazelnut 💗: here we are Alex, sit down by the toilet

Longarms 🇺🇸: 🤮🤮🤮

Hazelnut 💗: *rubs Alexander's back*

ArrogantTwat 🌝: *rushes into the bathroom* move I need to puke

Longarms 🇺🇸: 🤮🤮🤮

ArrogantTwat 🌝: oh great. Ma I'm puking in your toilet.

ArrogantTwat 🌝: *rushes out*

-----

Hazelnut 💗 and Idon'tgiveashit 🔪 are chatting privately.

Hazelnut 💗: come to George's ASAP

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: why

Hazelnut 💗: hang over

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: oh shit

Hazelnut 💗: please help me I don't want to have to look after 2 babies

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: brt

Hazelnut 💗: you're a lifesaver