Murder Most Unladylike Groupchat

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AminaEM 💍: So, Henry and I actually have something in common. I've also had my fair share of marriages. Though, unise Henry, I managed to get through three without decapitating anyone. I know, gold star for Cathy Parr. But they had this really annoying habit of passing away and so I was dealing with, you know, incapacitating grief, I also had to keep finding new husbands to avoid being ostracised. Tudor womanhood, all I've ever known. And then one day, I finally met this guy, Thomas, He seemed like he might stick around for a while. And you guessed it, he turned out to be the love of my life. We had this plan to get married, actually. But that's when Henry turned up, single and ready to make an unsuspecting woman his wife. Just my luck. So that was that. I had to write a letter to Thomas, ending things.

AminaEM 💍: Dear Tom
You know I love you, boy
In every single way
Though I love you, boy
I'll miss you every day
Oh, I love you, boy
I wish that I could stay with you
And keep the life I made with you
And even though this feels so right
I'm holding back the tears tonight
It's true I'll never be over you
'Cause I have built a future in my mind with you
And now the hope is gone
There's nothing left for me to do
You know it isn't true
But I must say to you
That I don't need your love, no, no
I don't need your love, no, no
It'll never be better than it was, no, no
But I don't need your love, no, no
I've got no choice
With the King I stay alive
Never had a choice
Been a wife twice before, just to survive
I don't have a choice
If Henry says "It's you", then it's you
No matter how I feel
It's what I have to do
But if, somehow, I had that choice
No holding back, I'd raise my voice
I'd say "Henry, yeah it's true
I'll never belong to you
'Cause I am not your toy, to enjoy 'til there's something new
As if I'm gonna give up my boy, my work, my dreams to care for you
Ha, darling, get a clue
There's nothing you can do
I don't need your love, no, no
No, I don't need your love, no, no
There's nothing left to discuss, no, no
'Cause I don't need your love, no, no"
But the thing is I can't say that
Not to the king
So this is goodbye
All my love
Catherine
So I sent that letter to my love
Got married to the king
Became the one who survived
I've told you about my life
The final wife
But why should that story
Be the one I have to sing about
Just to win? I'm out
That's not my story
There's so much more
Remember that I was a writer
I wrote books and psalms and meditations
Fought for female education
So all my women could independently
Study scripture
I even got a woman to paint my picture
Why can't I tell that story?
'Cause in history
I'm fixed as one of six
And without him
I disappear
We all disappear.

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: wait I don't get it...

Audience: 👏👏👏👏👏

MrEM 🇪🇬: Thats my daughter!!!

MrsEM ⚡: woooo go Amoona

Bertie 🌍: wooo 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Aunt Lucy 🔍: wow that was good

Longarms 🇺🇸: 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Idiot 🥸: woo

Harold 💫: 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾