Murder Most Unladylike Groupchat

35

Chatting on 'Best people in this fucked up family'.

Uncle Felix 😎 added Longarms 🇺🇸 to the group chat.

Uncle Felix 😎: good morning Alexander, how nice to see you.

Longarms 🇺🇸: *blushes* oh um Good morning Mr Mountfitchet.

Aunt Lucy 🔍: Did you enjoy your sleep?

Longarms 🇺🇸: I did thank you Mrs Mountfitchet.

Uncle Felix 😎: What were you doing in Hazel's room?

Longarms 🇺🇸: sleeping.

Aunt Lucy 🔍: Anything else?

Longarms 🇺🇸: no 😳😳😳

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: this is brilliant

Bertie 🌍: I couldn't agree more

Uncle Felix 😎: why were you in Hazel's room?

Longarms 🇺🇸: George and Lavina went home together and I thought they were going to have sex so I asked Hazel if I could sleep here.

Aunt Lucy 🔍: I see.

Uncle Felix 😎: Did you think to tell us Hazel?

Hazelnut 💗: I was wasted.

Bertie 🌍: fair point.

Uncle Felix 😎: yeah that's a good point.

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: this is the best thing ever

Longarms 🇺🇸: Daisy what would happen if Uncle Felix found out that you say...went home with Amina.

Bertie 🌍: ☕☕☕

Hazelnut 💗: honestly Bertie you're as bad as George

Bertie 🌍: blame Harry

Uncle Felix 😎: That is very intriguing information.

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: Alexander I swear to God I'm gonna kill you

Hazelnut 💗: you'd have to set through me first 😏

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: shit

Aunt Lucy 🔍: so you went to Amina's last night Daisy?

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: ...yeah

Uncle Felix 😎: Did you think to message.

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: I did message Bertie.

Bertie 🌍: ohhh that's what that message was.

Bertie 🌍: all you sent was 'doing Amina don't respond'

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: 😳😳😳

Hazelnut 💗: this is brilliant ☕☕☕

Uncle Felix 😎: well isn't this interesting

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: ...sorry?

Aunt Lucy 🔍: Daisy next time message me or Felix

Uncle Felix 😎: same with you Hazel my dear neice

Hazelnut 💗: ok Uncle Felix

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: ok, hey I thought I was your dear neice Uncle Felix.

Uncle Felix 😎: you both are

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: good

Bertie 🌍: now that we have covered why Alexander was sleeping in Hazel's room and where Daisy was last night I think we all have some questions for the groom-to-be