Murder Most Unladylike Groupchat

2

Hazel 💞: Alexander you like me?

Longarms 🇺🇸: yeah...

Iwantaboyfriend 💋: *sips tea*

Hazel 💞: why didn't you tell me

Longarms 🇺🇸: Because you didn't like me

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: ...

Idiot 🥸: ...

Little sprout 🌱: ...

Iwantaboyfriend 💋: ...

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: ...

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: how dumb is he

Idiot 🥸: Alex, are you blind?

Hazel 💞: evidently he is

Longarms 🇺🇸: no I'm not blind

Hazel 💞: then how comes you never realised that I liked you for at least a year, maybe even a year and a half.

Longarms 🇺🇸: WHAT

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: Hazel you can do better

Little sprout 🌱: Alexander, how long have you liked Hazel for?

Longarms 🇺🇸: Hmmm, it must be about a year.

Hazel 💞: WHAT

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: Did you ever like me?

Longarms 🇺🇸: nahhh it was always Hazel

Idiot 🥸: Alexander...

Hazel 💞: *is sobbing*

Little sprout 🌱: Guy's, Hazel's crying

Iwantaboyfriend 💋: Alexander you are so stupid

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: Can I injure him?

Idiot 🥸: Alexander you twat

Longarms 🇺🇸: What did I do?

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: How could you, Longarms. You didn't see how upset Hazel was when she figured out you were crushing on me - it crushed her. 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

Longarms 🇺🇸: Crap

Idiot 🥸: I distinctly remember an afternoon in the snow when you were very, very enthusiastic about going with Daisy. Hazel was distraught I told her that you were very fond of her and her response was "that's the problem, he likes me in every way apart from the way I like him."

Longarms 🇺🇸: Shit

Iwantaboyfriend 💋: When Hazel and Daisy had an argument over Hazel writing to you in our bonfire case, did she stop? No she didn't. I'm pretty sure she liked you even though she never outright said it.

Longarms 🇺🇸: Fuck

Little sprout 🌱: whenever your name was mentioned, Hazel would always go funny. She would turn red and become unable to talk.

Longarms 🇺🇸: bollocks

Hazel 💞: Guys I'm right here

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: we know, we were just making that arsehole regret his actions 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻

Hazel 💞: Don't call Alexander an arsehole

Idiot 🥸: he is though

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: he is though

Iwantaboyfriend 💋: even after being a complete and utter bread roll Hazel still defends him

Little sprout 🌱: it must be love 💗

Hazel 💞: shut up 🤭😳

Idiot 🥸: she's not denying it though...

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: Please let me stab him

Iwantaboyfriend 💋: wow Lavinia said please, she must be desperate

Hazel 💞: NO YOU CANNOT STAB ALEXANDER

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: Definitely love

Hazel 💞: I do have one question Alexander.

Little sprout 🌱: answer carefully Alexander as Hazel still has tears falling down her cheeks

Longarms 🇺🇸: You can ask me anything.

Hazel 💞: Why did you do it?

Idiot 🥸: I'd like to know that myself

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: me too

Little sprout 🌱: and me

Iwantaboyfriend 💋: and me

Idon'tgiveashit 🔪: and me

Longarms 🇺🇸: do what

Hazel 💞: Why did you pretend to like Daisy?

Longarms 🇺🇸: I didn't think I'd ever have a chance with you, I thought you were way out of my league so I thought if I told myself I liked Daisy, I wouldn't like you anymore

I'mthebestpersonever 💖: Hazel is out of your league

Idiot 🥸: Alexander you are a dick

Longarms 🇺🇸: YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT? WELL SORRY TO RUIN YOUR FUN BUT WHEN I FIRST PRETENDED TO LIKE DAISY, I SAW THE DISAPPOINTED IN HAZEL'S EYES BUT I DIDN'T STOP AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD SAVE ME FROM HEARTBREAK BUT I ONLY CAUSED MYSELF AND HAZEL PAIN.

Hazel 💞: ...