Harold 💫 and Bertie 🌍 are chatting privately.
Harold 💫: hey babe
Bertie 🌍: hey Harry
Harold 💫: how are you
Bertie 🌍: bored, I need something to do
Harold 💫: why don't you come over to my house?
Bertie 🌍: sounds good, are your parents home?
Harold 💫: no they are at work
Bertie 🌍: is George home?
Harold 💫: nope, he's with Lavinia
Bertie 🌍: excellent, I think I have an idea what I want to do
Harold 💫: oh really, what is it Mr Wells?
Bertie 🌍: you shall see handsome
Harold 💫: when will you be around?
Bertie 🌍: I'm leaving now, I just need to let the crack heads know
Harold 💫: Bert I don't think your aunt and uncle are crazy
Bertie 🌍: no but Hazel, Daisy and Alexander are
Harold 💫: ...
Harold 💫: I don't want to agree incase Hazel finds out
Bertie 🌍: this is why you are the smart one
Harold 💫: love you too Bert
Bertie 🌍: I love you more, I'll let my family know now
Harold 💫: okkk
-----
Chatting on 'Best people in this fucked up family'.
Bertie 🌍: I'm going out
Aunt Lucy 🔍: where?
Bertie 🌍: I need to do something?
Uncle Felix 😎: what?
MrArcady 🧳: Harold
Bertie 🌍: ...
I'mthebestpersonever 💖: gross
MrsArcady ❤️: he's not denying it though...
Uncle Felix 😎: remember to use protection
Bertie 🌍: it's not as though I can get pregnant
Uncle Felix 😎: Bertie you may not be someone who can get pregnant however you still need to wear a condom to prevent you catching an STD
I'mthebestpersonever 💖: this is priceless
Bertie 🌍: 😳😳😳
MrsArcady ❤️: it's better to be safe than sorry Bertie
MrArcady 🧳: yep
Bertie 🌍: 😳😳😳
Aunt Lucy 🔍: be safe
Bertie 🌍: I hate you all so much
I'mthebestpersonever 💖: this was soo funny
MrsArcady ❤️: you always find it funny when Bertie is embarrassed
MrArcady 🧳: true
Uncle Felix 😎: bye Bertie
Aunt Lucy 🔍: have fun
MrsArcady ❤️: *falls over from laughing too much*
MrArcady 🧳: *catches Hazel*
I'mthebestpersonever 💖: I'm dying🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Uncle Felix 😎: jeez Louise 🤣🤣🤣
Bertie 🌍: 😳😳😳
Aunt Lucy 🔍: bye Bertie
Bertie 🌍: I hate you all, bye
I'mthebestpersonever 💖: I hate you too
-----
Husband 🤩 and Wifey 💘 are chatting privately.
Husband 🤩: Hey honey
Wifey 💘: hey handsome
Husband 🤩: how are you feeling?
Wifey 💘: pretty good, how's the office Felix?
Husband 🤩: dull as usual
Wifey 💘: my poor hubby
Husband 🤩: yes poor me
Husband 🤩: how does you back feel Lucy?
Wifey 💘: still a bit sore
Husband 🤩: 😭😭😭
Husband 🤩: do you want me to come home and look after you?
Wifey 💘: no no no I'm fine, it's better than this morning
Husband 🤩: I'm coming home
Wifey 💘: Felix you have work to do
Husband 🤩: it can wait, you are my number 1 priority
Wifey 💘: Felix I'm fine
Husband 🤩: Lucy I'm the boss so I can decide when I leave so I am coming home right now to look after you
Wifey 💘: You are so stubborn
Husband 🤩: yes I am
Wifey 💘: so that's where Hazel and Daisy get it from
Husband 🤩: yep
Wifey 💘: thank you Felix
Husband 🤩: why are you thanking me, it's my duty as your husband?
Wifey 💘: you are the best husband ever
Husband 🤩: I know
Wifey 💘: always so modest 🙄🙄🙄
Husband 🤩: you love me really
Wifey 💘: if I didn't love you, I wouldn't have married you
Husband 🤩: best day of my life
Wifey 💘: same
Husband 🤩: I'm walking home now Luc
Wifey 💘: I love you so much Felix
Husband 🤩: I love you too my dear
Wifey 💘: ❤️❤️❤️
Husband 🤩: ❤️❤️❤️
YOU ARE READING
Murder Most Unladylike Groupchat
FanfictionThe title gives everything away. WARNING contains mentions of Drugs, sex and alcohol.
