Murder Most Unladylike Groupchat

91

Chatting on the group chat 'Arcady Family'

Longarms 🇺🇸: Everyone I have news

Mother 💓: what is it Alexander?

Father 💼: are you coming back to America?

TheBestCousin: Have you finally got a girlfriend?

Uncle 💥: Have you accepted the fact that your grandmother is bat-shit crazy?

Father 💼: that is OUR mother you are talking about

Uncle 💥: doesn't mean I'm wrong

Aunt🌵: let the poor boy speak

Longarms 🇺🇸: I'm engaged

TheBestCousin: who the fuck would want to marry you?

Mother 💓: what is her name?

Longarms 🇺🇸: her name is Hazel Wong

Aunt 🌵: what does she look like?

Longarms 🇺🇸: perfect

Father 💼: we need an actual description Alexander, we haven't even heard of her

Longarms 🇺🇸: she's Chinese, she has gorgeous straight black hair, she's quite small, she has beautiful dark eyes that always shine in happiness and round cheeks that flush with happiness.

TheBestCousin: I think I remember him mentioning her after he went on holiday with grandmother a few years ago

Mother 💓: ugh a foreigner

Longarms 🇺🇸: HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY FIANCÉE LIKE THAT

Mother 💓: why couldn't you return to America and marry a nice American girl?

Longarms 🇺🇸: because American's are annoying

Uncle 💥: hey WE are Americans

Longarms 🇺🇸: that just proves my point

Father 💼: you had better be coming back to America once you are married.

Longarms 🇺🇸: no we are not

Aunt 🌵: When is the wedding?

Longarms 🇺🇸: August 7th

Mother 💓: well I certainly shall not be attending

Father 💼: me neither

Uncle 💥: I'm sorry Alexander but me, your aunt and your cousin are unable to attend

TheBestCousin: sorry bro

Longarms 🇺🇸: it's fine, I didn't expect you to bother turning up.

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Longarms 🇺🇸 left the group chat

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Hazelnut 💗 and Longarms 🇺🇸 are chatting privately.

Longarms 🇺🇸: none of my family (other than my grandmother) are coming to the wedding

Hazelnut 💗: oh Alex I'm so sorry

Longarms 🇺🇸: to be honest I expected it but it still hurts

Hazelnut 💗: you're at George's right?

Longarms 🇺🇸: yeah, why?

Hazelnut 💗: I'll be there in 5

Longarms 🇺🇸: ❤️❤️❤️

Hazelnut 💗: love you too

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Chatting on 'Best people in this fucked up family'.